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Hi. Me [22] and my gf [22] (now ex) were together for 4 years. During the last 2 years, she met a guy through a mutual friend. Soon they became best friends and used to hang out occasionally. It was surprising that some other guy became her best friend because I should be her best friend, isn't it? I always considered her my best friend. I didn't like it but didn't want to control her so went with that - I trusted her. Though I still used to get irritated by that sometimes - but she ALWAYS assured me that they are only friends and that she can never fall for a guy like him and that he's not her type. Also, that guy had a gf at that time who was also childhood friend of my ex. During the last year of our relationship, things started to go downhill (constant fights, arguments, etc) - and one day she came and told me that she is in love with that dude(that guy was on a break of 2 months with his gf at that time) and that they both have ALREADY confessed about their feelings for each other over the phone (nothing physical though). So, shortly after they confessed, my ex told me everything after about 4 days. I'll admit that I was not the best boyfriend you'll see but I was not too bad either. She blamed me that the reason she fell for him is because I didn't love her enough. And then she broke up with me. I am still heartbroken. I feel sad that she didn't choose to tell me about her feelings for the other guy BEFORE confessing it to him - is it wrong to feel like that?


What she did was really cheating or I deserved that for not being a better boyfriend? Please help...


P.S. - Pardon my English, I'm not a native.

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I don't think it was your fault. People fall into and out of love all the time and often don't know why. A lot of development happens between the ages of 18 to 22 and you both may have just grew apart. But I will say that when a girl or a guy starts hanging around someone of the opposite sex, it usually ends up poorly for the boyfriend. I wouldn't worry about whether what she did was cheating or not. Just move on. Find another girl to love.

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