Candace57 Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 So, I recently broke things off with my boyfriend whom I absolutely loved and adored. I broke it off because I was not getting what I needed from the relationship. I didn't feel secure in the relationship. I also felt that things were so one sided. I was giving him all of my world and I didn't get much in return. We never went out on dates, we always stayed at my house, he could never say 'I love you too', I tried to take pictures of us and he would always dodge the camera. Couldn't meet his son. In a way I felt hidden. I feel horrible that I broke things off because I wasn't getting what I needed from the relationship. In all actuality, I feel a little selfish wanting these things. Am I selfish? Are these things that are typical to want in a relationship? Should I feel guilty for wanting these things? Link to comment
figureitout23 Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 Was this an established relationship? If so you aren't selfish for wanting to be treated as his girlfriend. Link to comment
Starlight925 Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 How long were you together? How old are you both? Link to comment
Candace57 Posted September 23, 2017 Author Share Posted September 23, 2017 It was an established relationship. We were coming up on a year together. We are both in our 30's. Link to comment
willdation Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 Why didn't he want pictures? I don't like pictures taken of myself so I often say I dont want to be in any pics....Im also not into selfies either...some people are like that.... Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 No you weren't selfish or wrong. You have needs and they need to be attended to. Is he married to his son's mother? Since you feel hidden have you considered he's not quite who he says he is? Link to comment
Candace57 Posted September 23, 2017 Author Share Posted September 23, 2017 Why didn't he want pictures? I don't like pictures taken of myself so I often say I dont want to be in any pics....Im also not into selfies either...some people are like that.... I understand that; however, he has pictures of himself and friends on social media. Link to comment
Candace57 Posted September 23, 2017 Author Share Posted September 23, 2017 No you weren't selfish or wrong. You have needs and they need to be attended to. Is he married to his son's mother? Since you feel hidden have you considered he's not quite who he says he is? He is divorced. As far as being hidden, I think maybe he is keeping me on the hook while keeping his options open. Link to comment
willdation Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 I still have pictures on my social media as well of myself and with friends....but I still dont like them...and maybe let myself get tagged in 1 out of every 20... Id just communicate that and ask if you could at least have one picture together sometime as you feel he was trying to hide the status of your relationship together....and if that is not the case at least one picture together on social media would mean a lot.... I actually heard the same from my gf so I caved in a took a few pictures.....but i still dont like them! lol Link to comment
Hollyj Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 You were a secret. Don't ever allow yourself to be treated like this. Why did you not insist on going out on dates? Did you prepare him meals, too? How often did you see him? Sounds like he has a gf or wife. Did you ever go to his home? Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 You were a secret. Don't ever allow yourself to be treated like this. Why did you not insist on going out on dates? Did you prepare him meals, too? How often did you see him? Sounds like he has a gf or wife. Or just LAZY. OP's ending it could be a wake up call though. Can't tell you how many stories I've read and heard about men being lazy and complacent in their relationships, and when his gf got fed up and left, he realized how much she meant to him and fell into what can only be described as obsession. Begging, pleading, even crying in some cases, all in an effort to get her back. Several threads I've read describing this. It's pretty common. It's the ole "don't know what you've got till it's gone" syndrome. OP, what was his reaction when you broke up with him? Link to comment
Candace57 Posted September 23, 2017 Author Share Posted September 23, 2017 You were a secret. Don't ever allow yourself to be treated like this. Why did you not insist on going out on dates? Did you prepare him meals, too? How often did you see him? Sounds like he has a gf or wife. Did you ever go to his home? I did, however, he always said he had money problems. I told him I have money to go out do things. Relationships are a give and take and when your partner is struggling, I believe you should be there to pick up the slack. I have been to his home maybe three or four times. He literally would be at my house everyday. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 I did, however, he always said he had money problems. I told him I have money to go out do things. Relationships are a give and take and when your partner is struggling, I believe you should be there to pick up the slack. I have been to his home maybe three or four times. He literally would be at my house everyday. So basically, you were a free restaurant. Good grief! No! You do not pay for and support men! It should be reciprocal! How did he pay for his social activities with friends? Also, there are many low cost and free activities available. OP, why do you expect so little for yourself? You should have cut this Link to comment
Candace57 Posted September 23, 2017 Author Share Posted September 23, 2017 Or just LAZY. OP's ending it could be a wake up call though. Can't tell you how many stories I've read and heard about men being lazy and complacent in their relationships, and when his gf got fed up and left, he realized how much she meant to him and fell into what can only be described as obsession. Begging, pleading, even crying in some cases, all in an effort to get her back. Several threads I've read describing this. It's pretty common. It's the ole "don't know what you've got till it's gone" syndrome. OP, what was his reaction when you broke up with him? We were arguing and he commented that something was annoying and I said, well if it's that annoying here, then get up, leave and don't come back. His response was 'fine, I won't come back.' He grabbed some of his things and left without saying goodbye. I feel horrible for the way I acted, but I'm so damn frustrated in this relationship. Link to comment
kamurj Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 Multiple accounts are not allowed. Thread closed. Link to comment
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