I have a great boyfriend but sometimes I am rude to him

[Unreasonable]

Okay, so you seem to have the cognitive ability to recognize rudeness, snippyness, etc. in yourself. Great, you're half way there.

 

My advice is to take a half second or so to utilize that ability BEFORE you speak, and you should be fine.

[itsallgrand]

It's all about learning how to control your own responses when you feel upset, out of control, hormonal, or whatever the case may be. These are skills you didn't have help learning from your folks , just like he didn't have help learning how to cook and drive. Both of you are fully capable of learning these things now.

 

It's good you came to an agreement that you will do less chores for him as you are over extending yourself with it. I also think it would be good to allow him to learn those things without you 'managing' him. You are a team - not a boss and an employee. It's not your job to regulate him , only to regulate yourself. My point is be aware of potentially taking on for yourself what is not your business to manage.

 

For pms in particular, I find it helpful to plan ahead. You laugh, but I get chocolate and I carve out a space - like a date with myself- to chill and be hormonal and cry to sad videos , and to get my bearings. You may do something else but the idea is to pay attention to your needs at the time and do something to communicate with your so about what you will be doing, how you feel, what you need. Think how simple it is to say "I'm having a bad day and need some relax time" versus barking at him when he gets on your nerves because he can't read your mind that you are at your limit.

[rand100417]

Thank you! I agree with all of the above and am grateful to all for your good advice.