HOW DO YOU CATCH A CON ARTIST BOYFRIEND?

[Audi]

I had been seeing a guy for a year that had said he was "separated" and was planning to get a divorce. I found out that he was not really separated (his wife was just in another state this past year because of her job transfer and he was here selling their house and wrapping up his job situation until he could move to where she was). God, I was such a fool. I never saw it coming! Anyway, now I would like to contact his wife and tell her EVERYTHING. Is there a way (free, cheap) to get her phone and address? I have his license plate number and his cell phone number? I checked out some internet sites, but could not get current info. Plus, I don't trust alot of the internet sites. Can anyone help me?

Devastated...

[annie24]

link removed is a good one. If you pay, you can go to a private eye link that will give you the current address.

 

I'm sorry sweetie. I guess if your heart says this is the right thing - to tell his wife everything, then do it. Is he still with her?

[Audi]

Yeah, he is still with her but says it's only until he gets over a arm surgery he has had this week. That he is only staying with her because of insurance reasons....

Thanks for the info.

[melrich]

Wow, how often does this happen. I have seen so much of this both in my own life and online lately. How do these guys get away with it?

 

Anyway, make sure you think through all the issues before you tell her. I know you want him to pay but just be sure that is what you want to do. The other option is to just walk away.

 

I am not saying either is the right way to go. Just make sure you consider all the possible outcomes. You know better than anyone if this guy is likely to go psycho on you or not.

[DN]

Revenge is never a pretty thing and very often backfires on the person seeking it. Be careful what you do.

[Audi]

Thanks everyone! You guys are so supportive! I know I should not seek revenge, but I'm just having such a hard time dealing with all the lies he has told. I've seen and heard of other women getting "coned", but I never thought it would happen to me... I just want and need some kind of closure...

[Sn0man]

Agree with DN...I personally wouldn't go telling his wife, thats not your place to do so.

[annie24]

erm... I don't know.... Audi's been having sex with this man for a while. I think the wife *may* have a right to know that her husband has been putting his penis in other women's vaginas. (sorry to be so blunt.)

 

Audi - you may want to get yourself tested. Because he's lied to both you and his wife, you never know where else he may have been....

[Sn0man]

The wife may have the right to know, but purposely seeking her phone number just to 'tell all' and destroy his marriage isnt the way to do it. It can backfire big time. I personaly think your business is your business...don't do this out of spite. Thats just garbage in my opinion.

[annie24]

Oh yeah - it can definitely backfire. be sure that this is something you want to do. What if she doesn't believe you? Or, he gets really angry with you and does something to hurt you? Would he do that sort of thing? Anyways, you're going to have a lot of thinking to do - and how you want to achieve closure.

[Sn0man]

Closure is fine-but this is not the way to accomplish it.

[daisy]

Smartest thing you can ever do is to listen to yourself. Listen to what your heart says is right. You're not trying to get revenge. I think that every wife has the right to know if her husband is cheating on her. Any husbands would also want to know if their wife is cheating on him. Why should it be different in this case?

 

No one wants to play 'the fool' when it comes to matters of the heart!

[sonjam]

IMO this is not about revenge, but rather to tell the wife (who has a right to know) and, every time this guy gets away with this, another girl is left behind devastated. If he's brought to reckoning for his actions, she might save the next few girls from a psycho.

 

I would never condone revenge, I agree with you guys that you only cut your nose to spite your face.... but sometimes a person has to take a stand, and see to it that there is consequences to actions that people do to you, we can't always just take it lying down.

[Sn0man]

I'm not ignoring your opinion but do you really think that spilling the beans to his wife is the right thing to do? I mean, having to look up her number or having to hire a PI to find her just so she can tell her that she has been having an affair with her husband? I mean, c'mon. That's rediculous. That kind of behaviour is nothing but out of spite and in my opinion is BS. You had a thing with him, fine. It's over now. Get over it. Leave him and his wife alone. I'm sure he'll screw up again and get caught, he deserves to, but for you do do this out of spite isn't right. Think before you act.