ladyabyss5 Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 well first off hear me out before u judge after that then go right ahead ... anyway well am only 15 yrs old and I like my karate instructor who 27 yrs old ....meaning he is 12 yrs older ... I really think he is attracted to me , and i do look older and I am mature for my age but is it wrong to want something to happen?? I tell my friends and they think its just utterly wrong .. but you see I don't think age really matters as long as u care and respect eachother ..what should I do I think am falling in love with him ..... Link to comment
annie24 Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 oh gosh.... here we go again... First, which country are you in? depending on the country, this could be very illegal. Second, karate instructors are supposed to be nice to their (paying!) clients. He's simply doing his job if he smiles to you and is nice to you. Having a little crush is harmless and fun, but the reality is, this relationship may not be possible, due to laws, and his professionalism. Have fun with the innocent crush, but don't take things too seriously, ok? Link to comment
ladyabyss5 Posted April 14, 2005 Author Share Posted April 14, 2005 hey am I live in the US and maybe he is just doing his job but you see he is polite and nice to everybody but he doesn't really talk to anybody except for me and a few other guys that go there and i dunno if he actully conciders me a friend but i think maybe a litle bit more ..its very complecated ....anyway thanks for the advice ... Link to comment
Caldus Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 Probably not. I would hope not at least. Listen to annie on this matter. Link to comment
whitefang Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 Welcome to eNotAlone.com I completely agree with Annie she's hit all the right spots, it seems only to be a crush which as is harmless as many people have them. I wouldn't get your hopes up too much and getting your self all wound up over anything because as Annie mentioned it depends on which country you live in as they all have different legal systems and laws etc and as he practices and teaches an Art he has his career and professionalism (as Annie mentioned) to consider so i doubt that anything will become of it. But there's nothing wrong with having a crush as long as you don't get carried away - whitefang Link to comment
ladyabyss5 Posted April 14, 2005 Author Share Posted April 14, 2005 thanks alot you guys i really apprecitate it ....i guess your right I would never want to ruin his career since he always tells me he loves it ...anyway thank you again Link to comment
I_love_rain_hugs_and_you Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 "... I really think he is attracted to me " --I really doubt that he likes you. When you fall for someone, it is easy to interpret everything that they do as being a sign that they like you. There have been many times when I have really really liked a girl, and I start to think that everything she does...well, Most of what she does, are signs that she also likes me. Its called wishful thinking. Link to comment
larajenkins4 Posted April 17, 2005 Share Posted April 17, 2005 you shouldnt get in too deep, its unlikely anything would happen, and you're only 15, which is illegal in most countries really, and plus you wouldnt want him to end his career. he may think of you as more of a friend than in a sexual way, just dont get in too deep. Link to comment
naughtycowgirl Posted September 5, 2005 Share Posted September 5, 2005 I have the same prob. you have right now as i speak. I am only 14 and i am in love with this 21 yr old guy. he likes me and it is so obvious. Please feel free to p.m. if you need someone to vent to, i dont believe in age i just dont. I believe if you love the person it doesnt matter, an age is just a number on guessing how the body ages Link to comment
Life.On.Standby Posted September 5, 2005 Share Posted September 5, 2005 an age is just a number on guessing how the body ages nopes.. its a number on DEFINING how the body IS aging. at 14 you are VERY different to 21. theres love... and theres inflatuation. i think your just inflatuated with that older guy. ever girl at your age has a crush on some older guy,... and its just creepy that this 21 year old can even like you... your 14!!! thats... wrong. does anyone else just think thats wrong? 2 to 3 years ago gap at most of someone your age would work. not 7. an dhe WILL be locked up if he does anything sexual with you... if your mother doesnt like it.. she will compplain.. and he WILL be locked up. even if you do consent to it... your under 16.. thereforeeee it doesnt matter. DONT screw up his life... leave him alone to find someone nearer his own age. Link to comment
Life.On.Standby Posted September 5, 2005 Share Posted September 5, 2005 but replying to this actual thread and not boy-horsecrazy's comment. yeh.. i think its just a crush.. and i dont think he would risk his job if he really does love it. hope i helped. probs not tho. id say... browse round your school, someone will probobly like you there. Link to comment
I_love_rain_hugs_and_you Posted September 5, 2005 Share Posted September 5, 2005 YOu are probably just imagining that he likes you, just because you like him so much. There have been times I have liked girls, and I think that everything they do is a sign that they like me...when it isn't. The chances that he likes you are the same chances that I have of fulfilling my dream of marrying Pamela Anderon--It's not going to happen.... I have the same prob. you have right now as i speak. I am only 14 and i am in love with this 21 yr old guy. he likes me and it is so obvious.s Link to comment
RooferGirl23 Posted September 6, 2005 Share Posted September 6, 2005 There is nothing wrong with liking or loving someone older, there is laws that are in effect against this so just be careful. me and my guy are 16 years apart, and I love him no matter what. Link to comment
Amannamederic Posted September 7, 2005 Share Posted September 7, 2005 there isn't anything wrong with it as long as its above age 18 rofl... i can't fathom why people would think a 21 year old could like a 14 year old or whatever... the only times i've seen this happen he wanted the rush of having illegal sex, not too cool in my opinion. Link to comment
voltaire Posted September 7, 2005 Share Posted September 7, 2005 In your early and mid teens love is real - TOO real. Your emotions are way ahead of your ability to judge the situation or the other person properly. You just don't have the experience to do it. Teenagers always say "It's different for me!' - that's exactly true, it's different and it's fantastic, but you have nothing to compare it to (except other people's failed relationships and cynicism). Just take it easy, and understand one thing - in 999,999 cases out of a 1,000,000 a man in his twenties who would have any kind of emotional relationship with a girl in her mid-late teens is either using her, or is very immature himself, and not a good bet. Link to comment
naughtycowgirl Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 like i said i dont think it is a bad thing, my situation is getting along well and i am so happy!!! if you would like to talk more jus p.m me Link to comment
candieeeegirl Posted October 7, 2005 Share Posted October 7, 2005 in 999,999 cases out of a 1,000,000 a man in his twenties who would have any kind of emotional relationship with a girl in her mid-late teens is either using her, or is very immature himself, and not a good bet. i'm going through something like that right now....he's 22, i'm 18....are you saying that he just wants to use me? if so then that's hurting cuz i really really really like him Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 8, 2005 Share Posted October 8, 2005 I think 18 and 22 is different. If you are 18, you are an adult, legally. You've finished high school, you can vote, be in the military, etc. When you are 14, you can't drive, drink, vote, you have to go to school.... etc. You don't have any of the responsibilities or expectations of an adult. When I was 18, I was dating a 24 year old. Because of our culture, we had a lot in common, which compensated for our age difference. Link to comment
voltaire Posted October 10, 2005 Share Posted October 10, 2005 Look, I have nothing against age differences as such - there is a big difference between me and my wife, but when I met her she was 26. At 14 and 15 it all seems so new and wonderful and fresh - it's the strongest love you'll EVER feel - it just HAS to be real. I remember it well- haven't seen the girl for 40 years however, and I don't even know where she is. But do yourself a favour. Find ten couples who are in happy stable relationships and ask them how old they were when they met, and also did they have anyone they loved when they were 14/15/16. You'll find that NO-ONE is with someone they met at that age. And to the other person who asked if I felt that 18 and 22 was the same, of course it isn't. The previous poster was right - at 18 you're already miles more capable of making a good judgement, plus 22 is not really that much older. But 14/21 and 15/27 - no! no! no! no! no! Link to comment
pineapple_juice Posted October 11, 2005 Share Posted October 11, 2005 Sometimes some older guys like teenage girls becasue the guys lack good communication skills and can't have a relationship with thier own. They are not neccessarily perverts. They just are too immature or lack significant relational skills. Younger girls are easier to deal with, but the reality is that they will never have a real relationship with anyone until they tune up thier skills. Link to comment
armchairshrink Posted October 24, 2005 Share Posted October 24, 2005 Sometimes some older guys like teenage girls becasue the guys lack good communication skills and can't have a relationship with thier own. They are not neccessarily perverts. They just are too immature or lack significant relational skills. Younger girls are easier to deal with, but the reality is that they will never have a real relationship with anyone until they tune up thier skills. Well said, pineapple_juice! Especially your last sentence. Ladies under 17, please consider this: If you love the man, then DON'T do anything sexual with him. There are laws in many countries that charge a man with statutory rape if he does anything with a girl under a certain age (in the U.S., that age varies by state, but is usually around 16). That means he can get thrown in jail even if you consent to sexual activity -- and it doesn't necessarily have to be full-fledged intercourse, if I'm not mistaken. If you warn him about this and he still wants to do things with you, leave him. No matter how much it hurts. When an alleged adult will disregard the law because of his own feelings and wishes, there's no telling what else he'll disregard -- including your feelings and wishes. Link to comment
caligurl Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 gurl i'm 15 myself and i'm in love with a 22 year old. all i can say is yea,its a big age difference but it's the love and the feelings that count. Link to comment
pineapple_juice Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 I would recommend delaying your relationship for 2 years. Before you have a relationship with someone, you need to take time to find yourself in life. It takes a long time to discover what you want and need in a partner, and one really does need a lot of life experience to figure it out. There is no harm in delaying your relationship...in fact, it may make it better in the long run, and you will be much happier. Link to comment
limelilies Posted December 27, 2005 Share Posted December 27, 2005 Lol, dunno wut happened to the other words, I was saying that ur not alone, it's been 4 years now since I met my b/f, he was 22 and I was 12. Nope, my parents still don't knwo about it, and I prollie won't tell them till I turn 18. Link to comment
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