miss_sunshine86 Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 hi, just wondered if i could get some advice as I really have no idea what to do here. me and my boyfriend met in odd circumstances - I moved into a house share 4.5 years ago and he was a housemate. we got together 6 months later and are still in the house share living together now as we were saving to buy our own place. we have had ups and downs, but are/were serious - talking marriage, babies, saving for a house. he was the first serious relationship id ever had and treated me so well. we had planned to buy in January but started house hunting a month or so ago. he went along with it, I never did anything without him being in on it too. but then he started going out more - every single weekend since we started house hunting. red flag - but he said they were all pre made plans. he was still involved and wanted to go ahead with putting an offer on a property which we got. I then confronted him about how much he was going out drinking and he got angry and turned it all around on how it's deeper than that and we have communication problems and doesn't want the house anymore. I thought we had sorted it out today, we both clearly love eachother but now he's out again. I just don't know what's happened - it's my dream home and representative of a future i feel like I've been waiting my whole life for and it's all just going down the drain. I told him to withdraw the offer and we can go our separate ways if he does not want me or this anymore. no reply and he's still out with friends. I'm heartbroken. 4 years. Link to comment
Bladesofsteel Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 Sounds like to me he's afraid of this big step of commitment and is turning his fear and insecurities around onto you. I wouldn't get the house if you can't afford it alone. Take a step back, back away from him. Don't pressure anything. See how he reacts. You will always be able to find another home and partner in the future. Link to comment
miss_sunshine86 Posted August 31, 2017 Author Share Posted August 31, 2017 No i cant afford the house on my own as it was going to be a joint purchase. Ive told him to pull out if he doesnt want it anymore but he's just ignoring the communication and It's getting embarassing. It's just breaking my heart because this is what we worked towards for 4 years. Link to comment
Bladesofsteel Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 I was in a 10 year.. I know the pain.. I can really relate. Right now if I were you I wouldn't push or bug him. He's obviously got some sort of ridiculous internal struggle going on it sounds like. Play it by ear, see what happens and update us here. Link to comment
miss_sunshine86 Posted August 31, 2017 Author Share Posted August 31, 2017 I just wish I could leave for the weekend so he wonders where the hell i am but we live together . I have nowhere to go lol Link to comment
Bladesofsteel Posted September 1, 2017 Share Posted September 1, 2017 I just wish I could leave for the weekend so he wonders where the hell i am but we live together . I have nowhere to go lol Ok so instead ... your silence in the present would speak volumes. Link to comment
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