I feel pathetic because it's been so long.

[mike-e-mike]

I haven't been in a relationship for almost two years now, and in that time I haven't even kissed a woman forget about anything else.

 

I know there are people out there that don't think that long is such a bad thing but it seems (it IS) that everyone around me see's it differently and is constantly having sex and finding new girlfriends/boyfriends all the time.

 

I've tried going to clubs and meeting women and it seems to me that my only problem is that I don't put enough pressure on them (ie. grabbing things and forcing myself on them, I can't believe that's honestly these guy's tactics!). I never put the hard word on women and I like to be as gentlemanly as I know how, ie. NOT FORCING MYSELF ON SOMEONE I'VE JUST MET!! This is how my friends end up with ladies but I just can't do it, please don't tell me thats how its done, I don't want a woman who doesn't slap a man who touches them without the proper invitation.

 

Does anyone have any advice for me?

[vhshowdown]

First of all mike-e, its NOT a bad thing not always going out with someone. This gives us time to find out who we are, what we want, and that we like ourselves, and can be OK with being alone so to speak....

 

Now, I am not an expert on women by any means, but my best advice is to make them LAUGH!! Be yourself, but be funny. Whether it be telling jokes, sarcastic type funny, whatever...

 

And if you do go clubbing, then talk to the ones that notice you. The ones that you get eye to eye contact with. Alot of guys make the mistake of going after any woman, no go to the ones that you catch looking at you...

 

Have the attitude:

"I dont sleep with every woman, just the ones that want to sleep with me"

 

Good luck mike-e

[volution]

You won't like what I have to say, but I guess you already knew that .

 

The best thing to do, believe me, and this seems to work, I don't know why, but trust me on this...

...is just to forget about relationships with the opposite sex... I don't mean forget about them forever, just let go, become detached about finding one. DON'T actively look for one.

I know, it seems like hell, when everyone else around you seems to be having the time of their lives, whilst you suffer in a languid pit of infernal pain and tormenting loneliness.

It's hard to let go, I know so well, when it seems like never again in the whole of your life will you know the tender touch of a woman's soft lips on your own.

But unless you let go, you will end up killing yourself inside, with all the angst, and worry, and jealousy, and fear, and regret, and bitterness...

 

May I recommend a book - Deepack Chopra - 7 Spiritual Laws of Success - it has a good treatise on the 'letting go' - the detachment that I speak of...

 

Remember, you're NOT ALONE in your loneliness.

[ShySoul]

Yeah, I'd have to say volution is right on. Don't worry about finding a relationship, it will come to you when the time's right. The more worried and stressed you make yourself, the worse off you are. Enjoy your own life and make sure that you are happy with yourself. Don't look at it as a burden, consider being single time to devote to the things you enjoy.

 

It isn't a bad thing to not be in a relationship. Ask yourself, what kind of relationship do you really want? Do you want to be a guy who gets all kind of dates, girlfriends, and sex? Or do you want to be the guy that finds one special person and has a long commited relationship with her? Sounds like your friends are the first type while you are looking for something deeper. That's something to be proud of. Besides, it doesn't matter what other people think or if they are in a relationship. What matters is that you like the person you are.

 

I commend you on being a gentleman and not forcing yourself on someone. That is what women like and in the end its why you will be the one they want. Not trying to say anything negative about people at clubs, but that isn't the place to go if you are looking for something serious. I got dragged along to one and have to say its pretty much just a meat market with people hitting on each other and trying to score. That doesn't seem like it would be your kind of place or a place to meet the kind of girls you are interested in. Try something else that better suits your personality. Whether it be organizations, museums, taking classes, whatever you are interested in, just do things that you like and your bound to meet someone eventually.

[djedix]

Don't look for love, it comes to you. It finds you, and you'll notice it when it does. Look at me, 4 months after a broken engagment i've already met someone new. I didn't look for them at all, they found me. (who knows how it will turn out, but i woulda never guessed i'd be where i was today 4 months ago)

[HajiMaji]

Its hard to be in your situation dude. Youre totally normal though, ive had this conversation with each one of my guy friends and theyve had it with me. Its just how it is. Sooner or later though youll get a female and it will be all good. Its hard to rest your mind on the issue though. Just try man, ya never know whats around the corner.

[heloladies21]

Try meeting girls outside of clubs ie school, coffee shops, bookstores, at the mall, in normal everyday situations. This sounds like more of your cup of tea. But don't wait for them to hit on you. You're the man so it's your job to hit on them. Just start up conversations about anything, what they're doing, something interesting they're wearing, similar classes you two share.

[plugger123]

I've been alone for 5 years. I've been happy in those 5 years, but I always thought that love will come to me when I'm ready. When I look back now I was a fool. Keep on going and trying. If you seek you shall find. Don't look back, only look forward. Forget about the negativity - that will hold you back.

 

Doubt that a woman will let her force a man on her if she's not interested in him. Sweep her off her feet, get her interested in you. Be confident, funny, and pay attention to see if she's sending you good signals.

[Iceman26]

As an experienced bar and club goer in my younger days, I'll chip in on this one.

 

In all my years in going to clubs and bars, I never once "forced" myself on a girl. Never once approached one on the dance floor. Never once grabbed a girl walking by or leered at girls all night.

 

If you are at a place like that, your best bet is to just have a good time, and LOOK like you are having a good time. Smile a lot, laugh a lot. Women notice these things, and if you look like a happy person, and fun to be around, women are going to want to know you and talk to you.

 

When a girl you are attracted to walks by and makes eye contact with you, smile and say hello. Women at clubs are more impressed by that than they are by some ape that walks up and gropes them. Remember, almost every other guy at the bar is doing that, so you have to set a standard that will set you apart from all the rest of the guys. Have a conversation with them, and flirt with them a little. Don't come on too strong or obvious, just be friendly.

 

If you notice that the majority of the women you are seeing go for the guys who walk up and grope them, its time to find a new club/bar to go to. Find a classier place to hang out at. Good luck!