Confused.

[Hoops55]

If anyone can offer me any advice, I'd greatly appreciate it. I'm 27 and my building manager is 34. I moved in two year agos and he wasn't our manger, his mom was. His mom met me and (jokingly I assume) told me to date her son. He became our building manager and right off the bat we were flirting. He has a son, which I'm totally fine with, I think he's great. In November we got drunk together and had a great time, didn't sleep together but I slept over at his place. Then for the next two weeks he asked me to hang out and we would and it was great. I was even there when him and his son was putting up their Christmas tree. He then didn't talk to me at all for 3 weeks so I texted him asking what was up. He said I misinterpreted everything. I was confused but said okay no problem. I've been rejected before, no biggie, let's be adults and move on. I was a little confused because he said he liked me and we really hit it off. Since January he has found reasons to talk to me, found reasons to run into me and makes the craziest comments. For example, he asked me to go to a Rockies game, but they were out of town. He said "I'm buying a house, wanna move? I'll need a roommate." He will purposely put himself in situations so I run into him. Or will just come over and stay for an hour and have beers with me. Lastly, he had a death in his family, he called me at 12 drunk, came upstairs crying, and told me he loved me, twice. He said, 'Im sorry I'm such an to you, it's just because I love you.' I don't think he's in love with me. Since then he's come up once and we hung out and everything was fine. Now I haven't seen or talked to him in around two weeks. I'm not going to text him or try and run into him because this is stupid and we're adults. I just don't understand what he wants. He tries to get my attention without actually talking to me. All my friends thinks he likes me, I like him, a lot, but I'm not trying to set myself up to get heart broken by this guy.

[indea08]

Next time you're alone with him, point out his erratic behavior and ask him what exactly he wants. He's leading you on but telling you it means nothing.....pretty rude.

[ThatwasThen]

^^^ Agreed.

... And as I said in your other thread... Stop being so available to be his shoulder to cry on and stop having beers with him.

 

but I'm not trying to set myself up to get heart broken by this guy.

Actually by enabling him to confuse you with his words that don't match actions, you're setting yourself up to do just that.

 

If he wanted you the way you would like him to want you, he certainly would not have told you that you "misunderstood" his intentions. Did you ask him exactly what he meant when he told you that you "misinterpreted everything?"

[Hoops55]

Did you ask him exactly what he meant when he told you that you "misinterpreted everything?"

 

He said I misinterpreted everything after about 1.5 months. So I assumed I did. But then the next 8 months went on and all the above happened, I love you, blah blah. And I haven't brought it up sense. Which I know is my fault. But you're right. Thanks for your honesty.

[Hoops55]

So I have another question. Update: last night I basically told him to off. I was drunk and I got pretty mad at him. He told me in May that he was in love with me. He was drunk, came over and said twice that he was in love with me. Last night I told him that he said that to me. He absolutely flipped out. Said he never said that, that I was lying and that I was crazy. When he was drunk and told me that I was sober. We are no longer talking but why would he deny saying that? Especially if he doesn't even remember saying it, which he probably doesn't because he said he didn't remember anything from that night. So instead he told me I was lying and made me look crazy and embarrassed because I told him what he said and he completely denied it.

[vesper]

If anyone can offer me any advice, I'd greatly appreciate it. I'm 27 and my building manager is 34. I moved in two year agos and he wasn't our manger, his mom was. His mom met me and (jokingly I assume) told me to date her son. He became our building manager and right off the bat we were flirting. He has a son, which I'm totally fine with, I think he's great. In November we got drunk together and had a great time, didn't sleep together but I slept over at his place. Then for the next two weeks he asked me to hang out and we would and it was great. I was even there when him and his son was putting up their Christmas tree. He then didn't talk to me at all for 3 weeks so I texted him asking what was up. He said I misinterpreted everything. I was confused but said okay no problem. I've been rejected before, no biggie, let's be adults and move on. I was a little confused because he said he liked me and we really hit it off. Since January he has found reasons to talk to me, found reasons to run into me and makes the craziest comments. For example, he asked me to go to a Rockies game, but they were out of town. He said "I'm buying a house, wanna move? I'll need a roommate." He will purposely put himself in situations so I run into him. Or will just come over and stay for an hour and have beers with me. Lastly, he had a death in his family, he called me at 12 drunk, came upstairs crying, and told me he loved me, twice. He said, 'Im sorry I'm such an to you, it's just because I love you.' I don't think he's in love with me. Since then he's come up once and we hung out and everything was fine. Now I haven't seen or talked to him in around two weeks. I'm not going to text him or try and run into him because this is stupid and we're adults. I just don't understand what he wants. He tries to get my attention without actually talking to me. All my friends thinks he likes me, I like him, a lot, but I'm not trying to set myself up to get heart broken by this guy.

 

This guy sounds like a loser. Tell him to stop contacting you and get over it. you don't love him, you just like the attention.

[johnnydanger]

Next time you're alone with him, point out his erratic behavior and ask him what exactly he wants. He's leading you on but telling you it means nothing.....pretty rude.

Excellent advice, and I agree. Refreshing for a change vs the usual block, delete, NC, and move on responses.

[Hoops55]

So I have another question. Update: last night I basically told him to off. I was drunk and I got pretty mad at him. He told me in May that he was in love with me. He was drunk, came over and said twice that he was in love with me. Last night I told him that he said that to me. He absolutely flipped out. Said he never said that, that I was lying and that I was crazy. When he was drunk and told me that I was sober. We are no longer talking but why would he deny saying that? Especially if he doesn't even remember saying it, which he probably doesn't because he said he didn't remember anything from that night. So instead he told me I was lying and made me look crazy and embarrassed because I told him what he said and he completely denied it.