Weird situation with an ex.

[Vitkacy]

I've been broken up with my ex-girlfriend for about 5 months. After the break-up I was trying being friends with her but it didn't work so I decided to go NC. There were about 2 months of full NC, during which I did things I've always wanted to do and tried to be a better version of myself. I still wanted to try to reconcile with my ex when I consider myself ready. Now we do have contact for about half-a-month - at the beginning just brief, short, infrequent conversations through text, because I wanted to take things slowly and my ex seems distant but not uninterested. About a week ago however, a mutual friend of ours (she is her good friend and a girlfriend of one of my best friends) forced a meeting. She insisted that she will take my ex to see me and another friend of mine. I wasn't too fond of that, but it went quite well, I was being cool and we accompanied the girls on their way home, where it eneded with a nice hug.

Quite recently one of my best friends happily got back with his ex-gf (similar breakup timing) and threw a party yesterday. To my surprise he also invited my ex and despite the last meeting being quite nice, I wasn't in the right state of mind to meet my ex again after such a short time. I considered not going to the party at all because I was not feeling very well as my stomach was aching. Unfortunatelly I decided to go, only to stand alone for about 1,5h because of the stomach ache and it clearly made a bad impression on my ex. When I started to feel better, she was acting quite cold towards me, despite of that I managed to make her laugh a few times and accompanied her and her friend back home again (surprisingly it ended with an even nicer and longer hug). Overall however I was pretty disappointed and so was my friends, as in their opinion I was supposed to play cool even though I wasn't feeling well.

Now I don't know why are my friends forcing those meetings on me, why don't they just let me solve the whole situation slowly and steadily? I don't know how bad the impression was and if I still have any chance to get back with my ex in the future. I shortly apologised to her today for my behaviour, and she said that it was very weird but it's ok now. Those forced meetings look like our mutual friends are trying to get us to reconcile, but I don't know if it is a good idea with my ex acting cold. Should I allow them to continue (there are many occasions in the near future) and somehow try to make a better impression next time or just make them stop inviting her and instead try to repair it all my way? Maybe some of you have any other suggestions? I will be glad if you try to help me solve this situation.

[indea08]

Well, you can't make them not invite her, that's not right. If they're simply inviting her because they're friends with her, then they really aren't doing anything wrong. But you also shouldn't be forced into meeting with her if you're not ready. If you're invited to an event that she will be at, then go if you're ready, stay home if you're not. If your friends are actually trying to push you guys back together, I'd be having a talking with those friends about minding their own business.

[MissCanuck]

How long were you together, and why did you break up?

 

The truth is that nobody can force you to meet her. Just say no if you're not ready or don't want to. If they keep it up, tell them they need to respect your boundary and please respect your decision.

 

It's never a good idea to have friends playing intermediary in relationships, anyway. This should be between you and your ex, without anyone else running interference.

[Vitkacy]

We were together for half a year and broke up due to my neediness and her insecurities connected with her depression. However the relationship seemed great and the break-up was quite a surprise. What is more, I don't think she would like to meet me face to face yet, I've asked her once, and she said she got plans so i got her point. Nothing weird about it, and not a reason to panic for me, because we just got back into any contact and there is still a long way if I want to rekindle the old feelings.