Is it too early to move on?

[angel1211]

It's been over a month since my ex broke up with me. I made a decision for myself to have no contact and to move on. There have been a few women that I have already passionately kissed. One of them, I may eventually get even closer with and I don't mean another relationship. My question is, is it okay to do these things without thoroughly going through the grieving process or am I just setting myself up for another downfall?

 

I was with my ex for only 8 months and we saw each other, probably, 3 times a week. Does quality of time spent together play an important role in the grieving process?

[bclew]

i think what your doing is the right thing. you have to move on and move forward with your life. I made the mistake of waiting and thinking that things were different then they were and wondered what i was supose to do.. i wish iwould have just moved on. if you have the chance and there is a women you have a connection with be it emotional or sexual i say go for it. if you read my posts "moving on" "dealing with the contemp" and "utter hateread" then you wil see that moving on is the best thing. trust me i have learned alot being a member of this site and we are all the same and our situations are similar. if i had the chance to do it again i would have taken the chance to easy my sorrow then dwell in it.

[apollocreed71]

Hey at least you are meeting women, good. You may meet the right woman. There is no time requirement for moving on, and there is no limt for falling in love. I have seen people fall in love and be living together withing a month. Hey they are still together after many years. Yet some friends I know have known and been friends with their significant other for years, before getting into a relationship, and it lasts only a few months. If it is in you cards then it will happen.

[here2understand2]

if for anything u getting to meet other pepl and actually getting close to someone would help u a lot..it wuld take your mind off things and you'd find yourself healed sooner than if u were to dwell on things..some things are never supposed to work out, accept it and move on..and before u know u'd have had a chance to meet a great girl with a great prospect..best-o-luck!

[RayKay]

I think it is more about the emotional involvement that you had with your ex, rather than time spent together. I don't think its healthy to rush the healing process, but neither is it healthy to stall it and obsess over the ex.

 

I think you need to go with your own gut here. If you feel ready to move on, go for it. But be honest with the girls you are seeing that you do not want anything serious at this point in time and avoid rebounding and hurting someone else. And when things feel right to get involved, you will just know. Just follow your own heart and gut.

[djedix]

Only move on if your ready to do so. If you want to move on, then go for it. If your not sure, give it some time, be yourself, do your thing for a while.

[angel1211]

Wow, these are all really good posts. It's really helpful to see everyone's point of view. I know for a fact that i don't want anything serious at this time. I have also explained to these women that i'm not about to get into another relationship. I ran into my ex yesterday at work and it was very awkward. I said hi but didn't really know how to feel. It kinda bummed the rest of my work day because seeing her just stirred up old feelings. I guess it made me realize that I am still not over her yet.

 

Yes, our emotional involvement was serious and she left me because her culture(mostly parents) permit her not to be involved with someone of her race and religion. It's very hard to understand but what is the point of dwelling on it right.

 

After hanging out with someone else, I still end up thinking about her after. I guess I need to give it more time.

 

Thank you everyone

[lady00]

It's hard to say...my only advice is that you can only figure it out as you go along. Don't rush anything...if something feels good to you then go for it...if you're attracted to someone, go ahead and interact with them but really think about not going into anything too intimate or too attached immediately. If you move slowly, you're more likely to be happy and comfortable with your decisions but ultimately you'll just have to feel things out and experience some things before you can tell if it's too soon. Go with your gut feeling.