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My Girlfriend asked me to increase my appeal for sex and be spontaneous because


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I have have dated her for almost 3 years, but we've never had sex. I have been demanding for it but each time I do she would say she's not ready yet and that I do not need to force her. I started dating her while she was in Senior High School. I did everything possible to support her education and her studies just because I love her. At some point I felt the thing she had for me. She used to take me through her thoughts telling me how she felt about me and how she wants me so badly.


She is from a very strict family and that was a disturbing factor to our relationship. Everybody in her family knows me as the guy she presented to them. We did not usually go out on dates to spice things up. I respected her family so much that I became a mentor and teacher to her. Having coached her for long, I helped her get a scholarship to go study abroad. Few weeks after she left she blocked me on Whatsapp to put a guy's face on her profile pic with a status saying the guy is like a poison to her. I think she took that line from Beyonce's song. I accused her of cheating, and she apologized so I forgave her. She came back home for a 3 weeks holiday last December. Things were sweet for us. We went out on a date. I kissed her on several occasions during those times. She returned for her studies. Then her birthday came. I posted a picture of us on her Facebook wall and that of mine. She became angry about it and I removed it out of vexation. I kept on telling her how I felt about her. At some point she told me to minimize the intimacy conversations and be bringing up different conversations.


To cut the long story short, she has returned home now for 2 months. I took her laptop one day and went through her Facebook conversations and I noticed that even before she came she had been talking to this same guy. Asking the guy whether the guy was serious with her and that she wants them to be serious with each other. And the guy was even making fun of me in their conversation calling me a nun. And she laughed about it.


I confronted her about it. She told me she doesn't feel like answering my question because I invaded her privacy. So I had to pretend that I had let go off it for a while. And this night I sent her an email ending it with these words:


"I strongly believe that I need to create time to work on my dreams and my future right now. If you are with me you can give me your technical, emotional and intimate support. In as much as we are all working individually to make our futures be great, I hope we can give this relationship a thought to make it be likewise. As it is right now I see myself as just a mentor and a kind of brother/friend to you. As nothing seems new to me in the relationship anymore."


This was her first response: "I think you are deliberately avoiding me which is fine if that's your choice" Later she said She trust me I have been feeling the same thing about us too.... I responded saying:


"“Trust me.... I am feeling the same thing you are”.................. How can I believe that? There were times when you took me through every detail of how you felt about us and how you want our first time to be special. You always kept on say No to me, and that you needed time to accept me to be your first. But it seems that time will never come knowing very well that I am not an Island but a man who has feelings and needs.................... Then you went on to choose a poison that you said kills you.... And next you count how many times we kissed as if it was nothing to you and you make mockery of that...... Then you say “Its fine all the time” Without even trying to iron things out for us.......... If you really feel the distance I have been feeling how come you never told me. And you never asked me if I am serious about the relationship? You know I always have been serious about us. But I doubt yours in that. There are some things you don’t have to tell me I need to figure out as a man in the relationship and I have to get them done. The same goes for you as a woman in the relationship too.


What else do I need to do to make you happy and make you profess your feelings for me?" She told me that she wasn't feeling sexually attracted to me anymore


She came out clear when I asked her why she fell for the guy in the midst of our relationship and she told me that the guy was spontaneous. And that he's a kind of bad boy who seizes what he wants and also is caring. I then asked her if we could work it out. She said yes. So she told me to increase my sex appeal. And that I am getting too comfortable with the relationship.



I need advice!!!

I love her so much

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