I have a gut feeling my boyfriend will break up with me tomorrow. Help?

[anon2021]

if you've seen my previous posts, you'll know my boyfriend has become unsure on our relationship. To me, it makes no sense. We have been so happy together recently, he has been completely normal and loving towards me -- there's been no sign of him having mixed feelings. Until we had an argument and he then said how he "loves me but the relationship doesn't feel right". That hurts SO much because I thought we were so close, after that he told me he didn't mean it and we were fine - he had sex with me and everything that following night, the next day I could tell he was being weird again and ah he did mean what he said about being unsure.

 

After, we said we wouldn't talk for the rest of the weekend (this was said on Saturday) and meet Monday to come to a decision, although the choice is clearly in his hands. He text me at 12 at night (he had been out with friends) and said how he "can't meet me at 12 tomorrow because he needs sleep", I told him he got the day wrong and we're meeting Monday anyway; then I couldn't help but tell him how much I love him and how much this is hurting me, the convo ended with me saying "I love you" and him saying it back. I don't think he meant it but he feels guilty... Today, still no communication except from 3pm when he sent me a photo of himself with a jokey caption, I could see he was out with his friends. Why would he send me a photo of him acting normal considering everything happening between us.

 

I've received a lot of advice from family and friends, most importantly my parents think he is "letting me down gently" and "stringing me along". They think he's been unsure on the relationship for a while but doesn't have the guts to end it. I feel so hurt and abandoned, my boyfriend was all I had. He was my best friend and boyfriend in one... the thought of him moving on with another girl makes me feel sick, I doubt it will take him long to either. I now feel like there were signs but I accepted his excuses thinking nothing of it, such as him spending less time with me during the day and instead at night when it suits him... I had to keep nagging for him to stay at mine for once instead of me at his... He seemed distracted with me, always on his phone. Despite that, I didn't pay much attention to it because at the end of the day I knew he loved me because he told me; he would cuddle me, kiss me, we'd be close and things were good.

 

Point is, I am hurting. I'm expecting to be broken up with tomorrow and I don't want to beg for him to stay although a part of me wishes we could just got back to normal but I can feel he doesn't care or love me as much as he used to. I feel like it's best if I just agree we both move on but I feel so mugged off and abandoned, this truly isn't what I want. Please help?

[anon2021]

The thought of him getting intimate with another girl makes me feel sick, I hate it. Deep down I don't think he wants to settle and commit to me, I think he still wants to try it out with other girls and just be a 'lad' and sleep around. I've been told he will miss me as he won't find what he had with me in anyone else by others, then again I don't think he wants to - I think he just wants to do as he pleases and not have to put effort in to a relationship with ME anymore, I think he's bored deep down. I gave him everything, he knows that too; it was only the other week he was telling me how I "keep him on his feet and keep his head straight", and how he's "glad he has me because I keep him sane". How has it come to a break up so fast?

[Wolfshook]

I know exactly how that feels. I believe you can sense the end is comming in most breakups. For me it was last 3 months that were completely awfull, lies, shadiness, coldness. It's better it ends sooner than to go through months of pain and feeling crazy.

 

Stay strong, there are many guys out there that you will be (maybe even more) compatible with and that you can love too.

[anon2021]

Thank you Wolfshook, that means a lot. I can feel it coming and it's going to be painful, I just don't know how to react to it

[boltnrun]

Why is your boyfriend all you have? You don't have any friends, family, activities, work, hobbies, clubs, etc.?

[melancholy123]

Yeah, why is he all you have? Where are your friends? Dont you have any hobbies? No one person should be anyone's everything. A well rounded person has other friends, hobbies, perhaps volunteers somewhere, goes to work or school, sometimes both. Your life will be very constrained if he truly is all you've got.

 

I think your parents are right.

[anon2021]

i do have friends, hobbies no. Nothing really interests me enough to take it up as a hobby. I think the main reason I feel so alone now and like my boyfriend meant everything is because he is who I enjoyed seeing, I never really enjoy seeing my friends, it doesn't feel as genuine and enjoyable compared to my boyfriend's presence.

[anon2021]

I work as well but my point is I don't enjoy these other aspects of my life and I want to know how to confront my boyfriend tomorrow and how to react when I know this will be the end. I feel like a fool, I thought we were so close.

[anon2021]

I have friends, family and a job. I just get some kind of fulfilment from my boyfriend, he is who makes me happy

[MissCanuck]

I work as well but my point is I don't enjoy these other aspects of my life and I want to know how to confront my boyfriend tomorrow and how to react when I know this will be the end. I feel like a fool, I thought we were so close.

 

React genuinely. It's okay to be sad and hurt. But don't try to plead for another chance, if he decides he wants out. You can certainly be honest and tell him that this is not what you want, but it will also be important to maintain your dignity.

 

I'm not sure what you mean by confronting him, though. Confront him about?

 

It seems like he has actually been pulling away for a little while now, though the signs may not have been so obvious previously. When someone is losing interest, they make less time and often seem distracted - as it sounds like he was. There doesn't necessarily need to be a lot of arguing happening either for someone to emotionally check out. Sometimes relationships, especially when the couple is on the younger side, really do run their course. It's hard but it's better to part ways than to try to stay with someone who just isn't into it anymore - I speak from personal experience on that!

 

Also, if you never really enjoy seeing your friends, you might want to think about why that is: do you have little in common with them? Are you bored around them? How often do you see them? It would be a good idea to re-evaluate your friendships if you don't enjoy the ones you have.

[Bob2526]

I knew my break up was coming. She texted me asking me to see me that night. She was pulling away and was becoming distant. I had anxiety and she told me she couldn't take it anymore. I wanted to break up with her months before but I couldn't do it because I did not want to hurt her. I was wrong. I loved her and cared about her but I didn't see us being together long term but I thought she would stick by me as I worked through my problems.

 

She came over we talked and she told me why she had to end it. I understood why and I didn't cry. I wanted to keep my dignity. I didn't beg and I even texted her the following week how she was doing. It was hard for her but I saw it coming. Just remember you don't need anyone to give you happiness it only comes from within. You're going to be fine, I promise. It will be hard but you will get through this.

[MissCanuck]

How are you doing, OP?

 

How did your talk with your boyfriend go?