s15 Posted June 25, 2017 Share Posted June 25, 2017 Hi, I am a male, 22 and I've been with my girlfriend over 1.5 years now and i love her very much, however, we are going through a very rough time. I have never been fully satisfied with our sex life, I am a very sex-orientated person and she is not. (I know there are probably 1000's of threads matching this description but i have not found one quite like my situation). The problem started 6 months into the relationship when we first started having sex, it wasnt great and i expected it to get better over time and it did but only briefly. Different contraceptives played a role in the up/down nature of our sex-life but she is currently off all contraceptives (pretty much forced by me for side-effects) but she is less interested than ever. - She is never able to last as long as me as she starts to feel pain which nearly always leaves me to finish by myself. - While we are engaged in sexual activities, she rarely seems into it which really turns me off. When i ask her about this, she says she is which really insults me as i feel she is lying to me. - All intercourse has stopped as per her request We used to be properly intimate on average, 3 times a week and now its only half-intimate once every 2 weeks I have spoken with her several times about this and she just apologized and things would actually get better for a few days, but then right back to normal.. She knows im very upset by it and i told her that sometimes i think it would be best to break up. She got incredibly upset by this and begged me to stay and she would change. I was hopeful she would make an effort that would last but it has just gotten worse. I have always been the one to initiate it as she rarely would but lately i have not been doing it. She now tries to initiate because "she wants to make me happy" but she still looks like she'd rather be anywhere else, paired with the fact she never wants to have intercourse anymore and never wants me to touch her (she says its because its always too sore down there). Not only does this not satisfy me, she still never finishes me because her arm gets tired. So ive started flat-out turning her down. This has led to fights and a general bad relationship environment. She constantly says she wants to make me happy but i hate it when she does it because she feels she has to or ill leave her. I spoke with her again and stated how much i hate her trying when she doesnt actually want to (after all, i only get pleasure when i pleasure her) but nothing changes, she still tries. Once again, i brought up that i have thoughts about other women and leaving (while i hate cheaters and hope i never become one, i cant help but have those thoughts) Am i selfish for not letting her "do her job" as she put it? Is it wrong of me to hate that she just wants to "sort me out" even though she has good intentions? Was being honest about my thoughts of leaving a bad decision, maybe she feels its not worth investing if there is uncertainty? (I have proven time and time again that i love her tremendously and do not plan on leaving) I 100% do not want to leave her but i am so frustrated its on my mind more every day. I would like to hear opinions from both ends and please, no comments to just leave her. I cannot allow that to be a viable option. Thanks Link to comment
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.