Partner investing financially with another man

[Charlyuk123]

Hi there,

 

I'm hoping some of you may be able to provide some advice on relationship finances

 

In our current situation my (long term) partner has a small amount of money to invest however not quite enough to reach the threshold on her own which means investing with someone else. I don't currently have the funds to do this but given a recent pay increase within a small period of saving I will be able to.

 

Due to my partner wanting to make this happen sooner rather than later instead of waiting for me she is currently looking outside of our relationship to team up with a male friend and work colleague to invest financially with. I'm feeling uneasy about this and feel as though we should be working in a partnership together to get ahead financially.

 

I'm wondering how others would feel if their significant other invested with someone other than them, and with a friend of the opposite sex?

 

Of course I trust my partner I guess it just makes me feel a little less significant and that we're not working as a team to grow our financial future together- it feels very separate. Purchasing a first home is something big and a milestone that I want to achieve together. I feel like I'd be watching something I want so much for us together unfold with another man in my place and I'm unsure if I'm being unrealistic by not being thrilled by the idea.

 

Any advice would be much appreciated

 

Thankyou

[rosephase]

I'm not following. Your long term partner is going to buy a house with a friend form work? Is that what you are asking about?

[abitbroken]

what is the investment. Is it in a business? In a company?

I don't think you should invest in something together if you are not married as an "investment for your future"

I think you should make your own separate investments.

I think you should voice your opinion to her - that you thought you would invest in something together and find out her motives.

 

Maybe this is purely a business venture strictly and has nothing to do with a relationship. There are lots of people who become business partners and its strictly business = they are investing in a sensible venture with a colleague.

 

Are you a man and a woman or two women? That would explain your additional jealousy if you are a man.

[DancingFool]

If it's just a general financial investment in business, rental property, flip house, etc. then it's perfectly normal and usually a good idea not to work with each other and muddy your relationship with business and financial stress. However, if you are talking about her buying a home for herself to live in and bringing someone else's funds into that....it is kind of odd.

Sounds to me like a very serious conversation about the status of your relationship and your mutual expectations and boundaries within the relationship is very much in order.

You need to express your concerns and you also need to hear from her what it is she is actually doing. Keep an open mind about it.

[tattoobunnie]

The entire world is built on financial partnerships, and with both men and women together!

 

Making an investment into something lucrative does not equal = time with no pants on.

 

If my hubby wanted to build a business, make investments, I could care less if the person was a man/woman. It's like saying you can only have same-sex doctors and brokers.

 

You are just jealous. Some men can't handle women who can eclipse them financial or professionally. Be cool. Reign that jealousy in, because it never looks good on anybody.

[abitbroken]

Most dental and medical practices that are privately owned and not owned by the local hospital chain network are typically owned by a man and woman, two men, three women, etc, or whatever combo who are not married to eachother. And they have spouses and girlfriends/boyfriends that are not part of the business partnership. It would not be appropriate. Also, instead of being upset that she should be "building a future" with you. What future do you have? Do you have a ring and a date? If not, you should not be building any sort of nest egg together - it should be two separate nest eggs

[mustlovedogs]

I would rather invest with an external partner than my romantic partner, especially if I wasn't married. Too many legal issues that could be muddled with emotions.