Have to go on a 20 days trip with ex

[Coconut317]

We broke up 6 weeks ago and we had reserved the trip much earlier and didn't get to cancel it because the cancel fee is about $500. We will be traveling in the country where I was born in the late June. Honestly, It is my dream to go on the trip with him and I hope the trip will help us get to know each other better and build better relationship. However, we broke up. At first, he offered friendship and I thought it would be the pathway for me to win him back.. I was "friend" with him for a month. GUYS!FRIENDSHIP AFTER BREAKUP DOESNT WORK! It was suffering for me because I still treated him the same but he restrained his behaviors. I clearly could tell he still had much feeling and even said he would think about getting back together.... but then what? one day, he told me he was too hurt and felt overwhelmed to be in a relationship with me again although he admitted he had feeling and would be jealous if i found someone else. We had an on and off relationship because of our differences but i tried very very hard to compromise with him and fix the problems. but i had made a huge mistake by letting my friend sexually flirted with me (he sent me videos and pictures). I didn't flirt back but i allowed him and felt extremely guilty and honestly told my boyfriend right away.. and he broke up with me. I guess i was curious at the moment and got controlled by urges. I was an idiot. i forgave myself and so did my boyfriend ... but he still didn't want to go back together

 

after being friends with him for a month, i messed it up by saying i have no intention of being friends and say a bunch of hurtful things to him. I started no contact for 2 weeks now but i still have to go on the trip with him. I don't want to cancel it... but I don't want to because of this trip, we become friends with benefits or me being desperate again. and i secretly hope it is a chance for us to get back...

 

ahhh do you think it is a stupid idea to go on a trip with ex

[melancholy123]

If you dont want to pay $500 to cancel the trip, then you are going. Is it possible for one of you to not go and another person goes along instead?

 

You made some major mistakes but he doesnt seem interested in taking you back. You should have a talk about expectations on this trip since it seems like you are going.

[Coconut317]

it is impossible because the ticket is under his name and he got his visa for the trip. i want to tell him to be friendly on the trip but i secretly hope he can use this opportunity to get back with me... ;(

[mustlovedogs]

I understand not wanting to waste money. But I sense your biggest hesitation in canceling is because you want to use this as an excuse to be near him.

 

You don't have to go. You can cancel. Or you can fly out and then go and do your own thing. You have so many options. But you have to WANT to exercise those options.

[melancholy123]

Yeah, what if you fly to wherever with him then go do your own thing then fly back with him? He doesnt sound interested to me, and you cant force him to want you, so if you dont want to lose the $500 that might be a way around it.

 

I do think you need a serious talk with him first so you can both lay it on the line as to expectations.

[kbbcoop77]

20 day trip with an ex sounds horrible. I'd pay 500 dollars not to do it.

[SparklyBoots]

What was the reason for the breakup? I think being realistic about the factors involved could help shape whether you should just cut your losses and pay the cancellation fee or go....