D1mps Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 Hello all, as some of you already know, I've recently been through a rather turbulent breakup with my former best friend/Ex, who was a sex addict. During the breakup there have been many revelations (none of which are great), and I am slowly gaining insight (through therapy), into what I've been involved with/ exposed to the past few years. Upon reading many correspondence, letters and listening to voice messages, conversation from my ex etc., my Psychologist raised a very loud alarm that indicated as well as the addiction, my ex was also displaying textbook traits and behaviours of a man with narcissistic personality disorder. Of course, this frightened me and I set out to learn more about it. I was invited to a seminar to watch webcasts/information videos etc. about addiction and narcissistic abuse and what it revealed was just shocking. They explained how the Narc/Empath relationship works and the manipulative tactics they use to weaken and eventually break the empath, all of which repulsed me to the core. I cannot believe the accuracy of how much it all mirrored my own relationship. I'm now desperately trying to deal and fight my way back from PTSD and digest what I have been in the grip of this past few years. It's an awful struggle that has left me feeling like I was going insane and I can only feel sympathy for any woman who will/has fallen prey to my Ex and his sickness. During my time as a friend to my Ex (years prior to getting together), I was on good terms with his now ex wife and had grown close to his children. Now although my Ex would not allow either ex wife, or myself to actually converse, we always exchanged gifts, sent greetings and were cordial. I miss his children dearly and would like to ask from time to time, how they are, but I do not want to have contact with my ex. My question is, Do you think it's wise to reach out to his ex wife and ask her permission to do so? I know it has potential to open a can of worms, but I have no interest in bad mouthing or causing drama, I just want to know that his kids are doing OK because I miss them so much and I can't deny I'm concerned about their well-being. They are female, age 9 & 10 and he still showers naked with them... Someone tell me there should be a boundary there?! I await your advice... Link to comment
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