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What's going on between my ex and I?


Lolololbiatch

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Ok so long story short, we've been best friends since we were 11 (were 21 now), dated for almost 5.5 years (relationship was great, even planning marriage), and broke up about 6 months ago.

 

When we broke up he started dating someone 4 years younger and the definition of trash. She broke up with him about a month after (him and I were in contact and told her that I'm his best friend and if she couldn't accept that then they weren't going to work. We were in contact, met up a few times, and even got into a fight about me wanting to fix things or I'd be out of his life). She broke up with him saying something along the lines of "you wonder if we're going to be together and I wonder if I'm going to off myself. I need to deal with my mental demons alone".

 

So about another month passed and him and I were spending time together trying to work on things. Everything was fine and he even told me, looking in my eyes "I've always been in love with you. I tried to hide it and I couldn't. I love you, it was always you never her". This went on for like a month, he pushed me to tell my parents we were talking again and he even told his mom that he was happy we were working on things because he didn't want to lose me.

 

About a month ago he told me he loved me, and the same day he ghosted me and wouldn't tell me what was going on. I unfortunately suffered a miscarriage that same day. He wouldn't talk to me for about a week and I eventually found out his ex then dumped the guy she dated after him and they were together again. (**** I know).

 

So then we met up one day and he was already angry with me and yelling at me, but he couldn't look at me in anyway. Every time I asked a question he ignored it, looking out the window. When he was speaking he wouldn't look at me. He kept telling me that he wasn't sure if he meant that he loved me. I brought up all the smack he talked about his ex (he said some nasty things about her) and he brushed it off. All in all he ended up deleting me on every type of social media later that day.

 

A week ago I apologized for acting like a ****, and he apologized too. So we decided to try and meet up. I forgot to message him Wednesday and he was legitimately enraged with me saying "I shouldn't even be talking to you let alone meeting up" and other stuff like that. I told him I was going to a concert and he was like "please be careful. Please don't drink a lot". He was the one initiating all of the contact from last Monday to Wednesday. Not me.

 

Fast forward today and I commented on one of our mutual friends posts saying "it' goes both ways" (the post was about it being hard for a guy to find a good girl). His brother commented saying that I had commented on the wrong post (jokingly) and my ex then rEplied "usually".

On top of all of this he's been subtweeting me. He only deleted me on social media, none of my friends or family.

What the hell is going on?

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It sounds like he has some residual feelings (five years is a long time) but this will not stop him from dropping you the moment he finds someone he fancies more. The relationship is over but he is going to stay in the radar using you as plan b for as long as you allow it. There is no such thing as staying friends with an ex without both people having moved on. Keeping up all this communication and social media interaction will keep you stuck guessing and prevent you from healing and moving on. Your choice.

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Unfortunately he doesn't sounds serious about the relationship and would rather play the field. He also sounds quite immature. Ask all your people to stop contacting and delete and block him.

 

Why are your families so involved? It this arranged dating/marriage where the parents decide at age 11 who you will marry at 21 and force you to date at age 16?

 

You also should stay no contact and delete and block all his people.Pull back and reflect on things.

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What is it that stops you from actually blocking and deleting him from being able to contact you? You say you blocked him on all social media and then go on to tell us that he contacted you and that you're commenting on his family's posts. That's not blocking him nor is it going zero contact which, if you do, (go zero contact) you'll actually get over a guy that does not value you at all.

 

Don't be the girl he falls back to when he has no one else at the moment... that is what you currently are. Time to stop the dysfunction and get over him through total blocking and zero contact. He's never going to be a solid partner who is devoted to you. That much is clear.

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He wants to have his cake and eat it too. Selfish in my opinion. Like another reply said, he will keep you around as a plan B as long as you allow it to be convenient for him. My advice: Focus on you and leave him in the dust. Exercise, get your life in order and someone will come along who is more fitting and willing to treat you the way you deserve on a consistent basis.

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