Boyfriend In Jail

[shoniqua]

My boyfriend has some time to do. I love him and would never abandon him. We just had a baby girl she is 2 months old. He has already been in jail for 30 days now. I go visit him every week and talk to him on the phone everyday. Im afraid he's pushing me away. He hasnt called me in about 4 days. I called the jail and they told me he is fine nothing wrong with the phones and inmates can make calls. I feel so heartbroken. I dont understand why he is doing this to me. Last week sunday i went to visit him and everything was fine. We had a good visit and he called me when i got home from the visit to make sure i got home ok. We talked for 15 mins said our i love yous and he said he will call me in the morning.. Never got that call.. Its like he distance himself from me and i just dont understand why. Last week we got into a little argument but nothing big. Basically he thinks im cheating or talking to other men cause he's in jail. I tried to reassure him im not doing that. Plus it doesnt help with the other inmates in there feeding him nonsense about woman cheating while they are in jail. Ive been so stressed out over these past few days. He loves the new baby we had so him not calling to even check on us is strange. Do you think he might be going through alot mentally because he is in jail?

[Fudgie]

I'm sorry to hear about this. How long does he have to spend in jail? Yes, I'm sure it's really hard mentally for him - he doesn't have much freedom right now so no doubt he's struggling. I really encourage you to do a search for specific "loved ones in jail" forums on the web. I think you could really benefit from posting on a forum where almost all of the members have been in your same position and can offer specific advice on your situation.

[Annia]

I'm sorry to hear about this. How long does he have to spend in jail? Yes, I'm sure it's really hard mentally for him - he doesn't have much freedom right now so no doubt he's struggling. I really encourage you to do a search for specific "loved ones in jail" forums on the web. I think you could really benefit from posting on a forum where almost all of the members have been in your same position and can offer specific advice on your situation.

 

I think there's a forum for people with love ones in jail, especially wives and such. I came across it once but I can't remember the name. But yes, that's probably easy to find.

[Fudgie]

I think there's a forum for people with love ones in jail, especially wives and such. I came across it once but I can't remember the name. But yes, that's probably easy to find.

 

I can't either...it's on the tip of my tongue. But there is a forum (or a few) out there that SPECIFICALLY deal with jail issues - having loved ones in jail, keeping the relationship alive, dealing with trust/insecurity issues, preparing for visits, etc. Even advice on how to deal with telling older children, etc. I really encourage the OP to check it out and give a search.

[Hollyj]

Why is he in jail?

[abitbroken]

I think you should give him his space. He knows you want to hear from him. Just don't call him everyday. Why not write him a letter each week with an update on the baby instead instead of calling? This is a lot to process for him, particularly if he's going to be there for a long time. If he distrusts you and thinks you are cheating, you can't do anything to change that idea at this point. Just stay consistent. Put a letter in the mail on a certain day each week. Don't plead. Just send him updates on the baby,

 

In the meantime, get yourself and life in order. If he's in there for something that is a dealbreaker or you have to worry about, you need to assess this relationship and if he's a safe person to be in a relationship with.