marissalace Posted April 13, 2017 Share Posted April 13, 2017 Has anyone ever experienced breaking up with someone who wasn't a bad a person, but in your heart you know they weren't right for you? I am struggling very badly with letting go my (now ex) boyfriend of a little over one year. We had some issues over the course of our relationship that began to deteriorate my trust (no cheating or anything that extreme), as well as some other "red flags" that I knew in my heart wasn't the type of relationship I wanted long term. He always cared for me, made me laugh, understood my thinking - but I think our inability to match our communication style continuously held us back (i.e. I enjoy deeper conversations to connect, asking questions about the world, discussing problems to reach a middle ground for our relationship whereas everything was black and white for him and he always had a reason (usually irrational or not backed by an argument) as to why things were, or retreating when there was a problem and ignoring me until he felt like working an issue out on his terms, which always hurt me and led to a few of our most recent big fights.) I just never had the courage to let go, always coming up with an excuse in my mind to continue and remembering the good times we had... but slowly realizing my doubts began to outweigh the positives. My friends and family continuously pointed out that I rather enjoyed the companionship than I did the actual person - and maybe this was true. He's trying to reconcile our relationship now that I finally broke it off by sending me flowers, a letter saying he was sorry for our most recent fight and how he loves me, texting me daily saying he misses me even after I asked for space and time apart to focus on ourselves - I hate hurting him because although our differences, he's still a good person and I'll always wish him the best. I've always been bad with letting people go entirely. And I know I will miss him and struggle for awhile too, but I really believe there is someone else out there better suited for me. Any advice is appreciated on how to let go of a relationship gracefully that you know will not work out in the long term, and move on with your life without feeling guilty for hurting the other person. Link to comment
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