I don't remember how it's done...

[GregB]

Here's my problem: I'm 31 and have been in an emotional coma for about 4 years, and prior to this I was in platonic hell with a woman for four years. In short, I forgot how to date.

 

However, I did not forget how to *get* a date.

 

I'm a fairly handsome guy, intelligent, funny etc. Not a lot of money here or fancy car, but folks like me and everythings fine. Last week I asked out a new girl at work, a Hostess, who was enjoying my attention to her and we had a common interest in singing and Indian food. I asked her out for lunch and she agreed! (Yay!) Quite remarkable for my ego, as she's 18 and gorgeous and I'm 31 and well, I've seen better days (Losing hair etc.)

 

Anyhow, today was the day and she showed up and we had a good time. We had to settle for Arabic food since the Indian place was unexpectedly closed.

 

As I said above, she seemed to be enjoying the attention I was giving to her yet I did not find much of it reciprocated. She didn't have much to ask me, and I found that a tiny bit off-putting. When it was all over, and we approached our cars, there was not a single moment's pause for anything intimate to occur, which is fine, (this is the first "date or whatever") but a very rapid "Well, see you at work" and she was off just like that. We both then proceeded to work after the date and things were fine.

 

The date sort of continued later that night with Karaoke. After work we met with friends at the local Karaoke place. We're both great singers and I gave her as much praise as I could without getting nutty about it.

 

She once again was not much into reciprocation though. I don't think she cared much for my material, first of all, but the bigger picture is she seems pretty self-centered. Not in a horrible way or anything, but enough to make me feel like I could've been just about anyone there with her and she wouldn't have known the difference.

 

Well, she left earlier than any of the rest of us, and I walked her out to her car. She thanked me for the day and all, but no opportunity for anything else there. I would say, in fairness, that throughout the course of the day I was getting mixed signals.

 

So the problem is this: I'm not really clear how to parlait the opportunity of being out with her into something more intimate. I forgot how to make the first move, and I have no idea when it's appropriate to make it or how to react in the event that it goes horribly wrong if I do.

 

Any advice would be helpful thanks!

-Greg B

[whinger]

pash her man! go for it! go go go!

[kinatra]

perhaps you just need to take her out again and get into a more serious line of questioning? the thing is, relationships shouldn't be that much work as I am often told. i met my most recent ex-girlfriend in a bar through mutual friends. we hooked up and that was about it. i don't know what to tell you.... maybe she isn't interested in you should just lay low....see if she comes around? interested to hear how it goes.... boy 18 huh? i am sure she is young and probably sexy, but do you find what she says interesting and at an acceptable intelligence level for you?

[cookies]

ya..just give her a little time, because some girls just are not that "fast" , when it comes to getting close to guys..which is a good thing. She may or may not like u the same way, but at least she is enjoying your company enough to hang out outside of work.

 

Take it slow, and the more you spend time with her, the more she and you will grow closer. DOnt jump into anything, allow it to happen slowly and naturally. You are older, and probably know what you want, when shes quite younger,...and not as experienced and may even be unshure of what she wants at this age. SO, enjoy spending time with a sweet, pretty new friend ...

 

cookies