A teacher and his student.

[stormy]

This is going to sound really.. corny but I think I am in love with my teacher. He's 25 years old and I am quite younger but he is really sweet to me. We always talk and flirt with each other. We have a really stable relationship. He's always acts so cute and funny around me. We havn't really done anything other than kiss, hug and cuddle... he told me he wouldnt do anything else until I felt comfortable with it. He isn't married and doesn't have any kids or a girlfriend so I don't think I am doing anything wrong. Last night while I was at his house watching a movie with him on the couch he told me he loved me and I told himI loved him backDoes anyone think there is too big of an age gap for this thing to work out?

[Mysterious Gurl]

Hey!

 

I don't think that 8 yrs is an age gap to worry about. If you feel comfortable and safe then I think you should be alright.

 

As long as he loves you and your not pressured the go for it!

 

Miya

[stormy]

What about the whole teacher + student thing? Can he get into trouble for that?

[Mysterious Gurl]

Well I'm not sure. I mean in England you have to be 18 to date a teacher. (I think) because thats when you are an adult.

 

Does he teach you in any subject? I don't think it's wrong if you keep the relationship out of school.

 

Miya

[I_love_rain_hugs_and_you]

Yup he can get fired. Its better to wait until you have finished school. ONce you have graduated you are free to date who ever you want. BUt he could definitely be fired for having a relationship with you. If you really care about him, you should stop the relationship until you are graduated. You don't want him to get fired because of you.

[Mysterious Gurl]

Maybe things are different in Germany?

[ArcadianX]

Er, that's eight years, not six. What's more, it's a gap that stretches all the way from the middle of high school to several years beyond college, which is really big. I'm not saying it's impossible, but it seems very wide.

 

Legally, the teacher/student thing is probably going to be a problem. He can get into extremely deep trouble for it and teachers are often known to lose their jobs over it. There's almost certainly an extremely strict rule against exactly what he's doing. It's possible that it will be different when you're 18, and of course once you've graduated you can do anything you want, but you'd need to find out exactly how the rules are written for your school system.

[kiwifly]

I have no idea what the rules are for this sort of situation in germany, but every teacher - student relationship I've heard of that involves a student in high school and a teacher ends badly.

 

Actually, back when I was in high school, one of the teachers started getting really close with one of his students. When it became really obvious one day, he was fired and the student was never looked upon nicely ever again. So in some ways, this relationship of yours that you have with your teacher could end up hurting both of you pretty badly in the end.

 

If you two truly truly have feelings for each other, you should wait until you have at least graduated. If he respects you, he will wait.

[Lily04]

I agree, you should definitely wait until you're out of school. One of my teachers in high school (who was around 25 as well) got engaged to an old student (who was probably around 21 though), after she was in college for a few years. I suspect they stayed in touch after she graduated, but only started dating after she was out of school. It can work out alright, but the age gap is a bit big, and I wouldn't count on it. You should definitely wait until after you're out of his class though, as he can get fired.

[DN]

from reading other posts on this forum, & me being a full blown American I CANT SAY THAT I UNDERSTAND IN THE LEAST BIT HOW PEOPLE RUN THEIR LIVES OVER SEAS!

 

once again GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!

 

-DG724

 

link removed

[DragonGirl724]

ugh. thats a pretty sick story. ive read other articles on similar issues. unbelievable.

 

-DG724

[annie24]

Stormy - I guess that things are just different in Germany than in the US, but here, that is considered a SERIOUS breach of conduct. I've known professors who have gotten fired for dating grad students - people all over 21!

 

He is the teacher, you are the student. He is unfairly taking advantage of his authority over you. That in itself is inappropriate.

 

Does your school have a policy against student-teacher dating? I think you should ask the principal or a school counselor. If they're ok with this relationship, then go for it. But, I have a feeling like they won't be ok with this relationship.

 

I think you should cool things with this teacher. No more hugging, kissing, dates. Wait until you've graduated. Then, if you two still have feelings for each other, then go date him. Until then, it's inappropriate.

[kskm]

You know I have mixed feelings about this one. I think that if you were graduated from high school then this would be fine- in a year I am guessing? Until then I think it's not appropriate. The age I don't think is as much as a factor (although it is a little- a year would do you some good) as the fact that he is your teacher. Lay low and go with the flow until you graduate, and then explore your feelings.

[I_love_rain_hugs_and_you]

Its wrong in all places of the world. And punished severely. Wait until you are older. True love can wait.

[Hope75]

Although under normal circumstances I do not believe 8 years is a huge age gap, given that you are only 17 and he is 25 that is a pretty big difference in where exactly you are in your lives maturity wise.

 

The bigger issue here is that he is your teacher and you are his student. What he is doing is a serious abuse of power because he is in a positon of authority over you. I don't know how things work in Germany but here in the states this is most certainly illegal and he would be fired the instant he was found out.

 

There are reasons this type of behaviour is illegal. Students should be able to feel safe in thier classroom and not have to be concerned with whether or not they are sexually attractive to thier teacher, or visa versa.

 

Are you willing to risk his job for this? I think you are foolish if you persue this. Let it go, and find someone your own age who is not your teacher.

[larajenkins4]

you've already gone too far for you to step away and for it to be legal, him kissing u, and spending time like that with you out of school is already illegal, so stopping it because people say it is wrong is gonna gain nothing. i think what you have with him is beautiful, and i think you should keep it quiet until you leave school, how long do you have left there? because if you tell anyone, then you will only get in trouble, and it wont work, so keep quiet about it, make sure you dont get caught, and when you leave go for it. i dont think its wrong at all, and you may see the age thing as a problem, but some people get on better with people older than them, its just one of those things, no one can prevent it. if you get on well, and you understand each other then there's no reason that the age gap should be a problem. i hope everything goes well with you, and dont tell anyone else at the school, because that will make it worse, and you will end up getting him sacked and maybe even given a criminal record, and you wouldnt be able to be together then, so just wait until you leave. if you both love each other like you say you do, then waiting wont be a problem. hope everything goes well!

[ladyabyss5]

hi well I just read all the post on this one and i think its perfectly ok as long as he doesn't take advantage but one thing for sure ..if i was u i would keep your realationship with him very quiet at least until u graduate HS then u can probably do whatever u want ....good luck