touching

[thepianoman]

I have some friends at my school. They are good kids, and I really like them, but sometimes they get into conversations about sex, attraction etc. I don't mind these conversations, but I have never looked at porn, seen a lady naked, or felt someone's boobs. They also have girlfriends; I don't, and they are always touching each other. So a lot of the time I feel very awkward in these situations. Am I wrong for not having seen nude photos or having touched a girl beyond hugging or shaking hands ? What should I do?

[lady00]

You're not wrong. You should only do whatever feels comfortable for you. If your friends and their gfs make you feel uncomfortable then you should only spend time with them in public places where you can all enjoy each other's company.

[thepianoman]

I could have phrased that better. I do feel comfortable, but it seems like I'm the only one who hasn't done these things; I feel alone in the herd. I don't know what to do.

[kskm]

Well you are not alone, you only feel as if you are. Don't worry your time will come when you feel a boob, kiss a girl. Don't rush anything just because your friends have that already. It's definitally not wrong.

[Daddyslilgrlx0]

Theres nothing wrong with that, It took me awhile before i ever did anything. I remember all of 6th grade and 7th wanting so bad to have sex and be touched wanting to touch someone else but i never did and there was nothing wrong with that. at the end of 7th i met my boyfriend and then that was the first person i ever fooled around with and had my chance to do what i wanted and yes i would always hangout with older kids who were always talking about haveing sex and having boyfriends and having orgams and i wasnt uncomfterbul but it was werid because i never had the chance to do that kinda of stuff with anyone and didnt have a real boyfriend. Ever since ive had sex with that one boyfriend in 7th grade i havent stoped having sex but i know that if a guy comes along who has done nothing then i take it slow and teach him stuff so when the time comes along that you meet someone make sure they will be slow and understanding. Theres nothing wrong with you though!!! If you're interusted in getting into sex take it slow and learn about stuff. If you ever need something then PM me and Ive also sent you a PM. I hoped I helped.

[San123]

I don't think it's wrong at all! I think it's GOOD! Kids are having sex way too early now a days! I don't care if they say they are 13 or 14 and are ready because they arent.

[Ddog187]

I don't think it's wrong at all! I think it's GOOD! Kids are having sex way too early now a days! I don't care if they say they are 13 or 14 and are ready because they arent.

It's more of the hormones rushing into their bodies and them not thinking about what could happen.

[eagles04]

Ever person is comfortable in their own surroundings. i know, in some areas i am comf. and in the others iam not. It depends on how you know each person, or the group that you hang w/. iam only comf w/ people i know. like this one kid which is three years younger than i, well weve became friends and we tell each other ever thing, and like he only told me that he has ADD which he didnt tell any of his other friends just me, thats weird. He would always find ways to touch me either on my face or on my stomach. When he touchs me on my face he dont care if anyone is around @ school or @ the ymca, but he dont do this when one of his friend is near by , cause this one friend of his makes fun of him. Most of the time when me and him are alone playing basketball or working - out @ the YMCA @ college; he gets so close that i could feel his chest on my back. i know if their is something going on in his mind. He knows that i had once offered to have sex w/ him, but we are still V's and i only had one boyfriend and he didnt have any gf. When he was horny he had called me up and told me, we discussed it like adults for a few days, but then he changed his mind bout the whole thing, i guess his younger bro had conv. him not 2. He tells me that he only wants to be friends. i dont know whats going on w/ him, if he wants to get closer to me or not , he knows my past w/ guys in all being rejected more then 100x's in my life, i know why that i do, its cause iam not attractive to a lot of the guys i meet and cause they are affaid of me; there are alot of the reasons why they are affaid , 1 the way i talk 2 the way i look 3 i have karate and wreastling skills 4 iam successful 5 iam two strong 6 iam way connected the the job world ( police).

[Jezabelle73]

Hi,

 

I'm a little older than the average replier here, but some things are worth having a say at....at the risk of sounding like a parent, recognize that you are only 14 years old...I have an 11 year old son, and I am always telling him to be a kid while he still can, cause once you enter the adult world, there's no going back...being young is hard, but being an adult and participating in adult-type activities has consequences that most young people don't realize...maintain the lifestyle you feel comfortable in...I've recently experienced something I was initially unsure of...and now I regret going along with it all...I should have stuck with my gut feelings, but went along with someone elses ideas because I questioned my own. I was wrong. Sex is always a game of fumbling around and being awkward at your age, no matter how much the other guys/chicks act like they've got it down....take your time so you know you're doing the right thing in that situation, you won't regret it...and by the way, not all sex has to be meaningful, but it's so much better when it is, and when it's truly meaningful, there'll be no question in your mind....Jez

[discordant_verse]

The touch is one of the most subtle and important forms of communication. It reassures, affirms, and comforts.

 

You see, you dont just let anyone touch you. There must be some form of trust before a gal even lets a guy touch her hair. To hold and hug is an open display of affection, an affirmation of affectionate feelings. If one of the couple feels uncomfortable hugging the other in public, this can often be seen as a possible problem in the relationship - though not always.

 

There is nothing wrong with not having done all this. In time you will eventually.

 

I tell you this so that you can understand that this is normal for couples to touch, dont get too uncomfortable. Instead, find pleasure that fellow human beings are finding some measure of happiness in this way.

 

Regards

Roy

[I_love_rain_hugs_and_you]

I went through the exact experience you are going through. When I was 13 all the guys would talk to me about sex, even though I was shy about it. THey knew so much, I knew almost nothing. I didn't even really know how sex really worked (I am still a virgin to this day). I felt really awkward because I didn't understand thier terminology (like I didn't know what a BJ was) and the stuff they said even scared me slightly. Its hard because I wanted to just be left alone and start having sex when I was married, but they kept talking and talking and it really made me feel uncomfortable. If it really bothers you, tell them to stop. If they don't stop, tell a teacher or someone because they shouldn't be bothering you like that.