hawkbiitt Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 So I've been diagnosed with bipolar 2 for over two years now but my doctor says I've probably had it since I was a child due to me sexually abuse half my childhood and physically and mentally abuse by my home life... where I come from it is not a home and I struggle to understand what one is. I have a boyfriend now of 3 years that doesn't seem to understand how sensitive and explosive I can be based on tones in his voice, and that can be said to anyone who talks down to me. My only problem is that I yell and loud, I'm on and off my medication because I need to work and it makes me sleepy. I used to break and I make like all out go war zone on my apartment break but I'm learning you can't do that in adult world. So I've taken up crying hysterically and smoking weed. I hate it because I want to be normal and when I'm around other people I feel normal but when I'm at my boyfriends he says people don't act like me "crazy and hysterical and overboard" but I mean people really do, just YouTube public freak outs you'll find hundreds of them, but I don't get it what's wrong with how I act if I get mad? And when he gets mad at me I'll think about it for days not just mins or hours I mean days or weeks! Ugh does anyone else have manic bipolar and feel like there will never be any self control?? Because I just want to be normal but not so normal where I loose the creative parts that make up my personality. Link to comment
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