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Mutually attracted to coworker who is in a relationship


Lucha

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So I recently started working at a new place (we switch work places every six months as resident doctors in a hospital) and there is this lesbian physiotherapist who'm I was immediately enchanted to meet. I am a gay woman fyi. She is Italian, and has a very friendly, outgoing personality. She is great with patients. I've kind of had the feeling she was trying to make eye contact sometimes during work and smile, other times not. I figured it was wishful thinking.

Yesterday there was a company party. She didn't intend to go but I persuaded her and eventually she showed up. So she kind of came for me. I engaged in a conversation and proposed to drive her home later because she would otherwise have to take public transport and couldnt stay for long. We got to know eachother a little through conversation and there was some dancing. I am an outgoing person as well so I was dancing a little intimately with friends/good colleagues and then I also asked her to dance. There was some heavy flirting going on.

Eventually the topic relationships came up. As I was afraid, she is in a relationship of 3 years. They only see eachother during the weekends. I got the impression she was open for adventures outside her rs, but considered it a good rs as well.

So I kind of retreat a little since I do not want to be the person to break up a happy couple. But we did continue to talk and as I admitted liking her she admit she liked me and the intimate dancing but that it was dangerous for her.. that it makes her 'unstable' and tempted.. I continued conversation acknowledging her relationship and jokingly said that she should not be looking into my eyes like that. She said a couple of times she couldn't help it because she thought I was beautiful.

As the party ended we walked outside, her coat around me bc I was cold. I thanked her for coming, she said she came bc she was curious about me. We hugged. I could feel the tension. But I decided to cut it short because of her rs. (Otherwise I would have def gone for a kiss). I drove her home and got her number. We will meet some other time for drinks probably. So really nothing happened but there was so much tension.

 

And now I can't get her out of my mind! I thought I handled this well but knowing we are attracted to eachother and not being able to act upon it is torture!

 

Anyway.. just venting and looking for similar experiences. The "attracted to someone who is in a relationship" topic is a very hot one, and I know the general advice is to steer clear from people in relationships.. but have you ever been there yourself?

 

L.

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I got the impression she was open for adventures outside her rs

 

Do you think that she is in an open relationship or that she is open to cheating on her partner?

 

Not being sarcastic or anything else rude, genuinely asking.

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This is a woman who crosses boundaries by being really flirtatious and saying inappropriate things to another, since she's exclusive with someone else. If her gf were present, she wouldn't be saying these things, which means she's crossing the line. If she broke up with her partner and got with you, do you really think you'd be that someone special who she'd be faithful to, in words and otherwise? She'd be flirting with some other woman while telling that woman how she's with you and sees you a couple of times a week, blah, blah.

 

There are so many people in the world you can have chemistry with. That's the easy part. Once that's established, use your brain to select a person who is a good risk for your heart. This lady is not.

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Do you think that she is in an open relationship or that she is open to cheating on her partner?

 

Not being sarcastic or anything else rude, genuinely asking.

 

I don't think it is an open relationship. It sounds like a solid rs although there is absolutely no sign of a relationship whatsoever on her facebook and she only mentioned it because I asked.

I think she might be open to flirting but wouldn't go further.

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