Harp123 Posted March 19, 2017 Share Posted March 19, 2017 Hello, Before i really explain my situation, i'd just like to mention that I am dealing with depression for the past 2.5 yrs, the past 5 years have been very rocky for me. So as I have grown up, I had many friends, through school, outside of school, college, uni etc, but it seemed like i would only be with them for a certain amount of time and somehow id drift apart and end up in another group, through school i went through 4 groups, and it seemed like everyone stuck together but me, i floated from one to the other. But at that point it was easy to make friends, and as we know the older we get the smaller the circle gets. When i went to uni i was diagnosed with depression, i had a group of girls at home who were my bestfriends, but because i was living out, i somehow cut myself off from them, living out was keeping me away from issues at home, and i made the mistake of not being a friend that i should have been. so eventually i lost the girls, accepting my mistakes i decided to move on. at the same time i was part of another group at home that i wasnt that close to but after uni we got closer. Everything was great, they seemed to understand that i wasnt well mentally and they were supportive.. i really thought i had found friends for life. I know i hadnt always been great company because sometimes id be down, or quiet, i saw them getting closer to eachother, and soon i became an outsider. I spoke to them and they told me where i went wrong and ofc i tried my hardest to rectify my mistakes. everything was well, and suddenly now I find out that they have a whatsapp group without me, and that have even started to go out without me. When i see their pictures of them going out i end up in tears, i understand not everyone knows what depression is and it is hard to be around someone who is depressed but i thought i was doing well. I have been wanting to ask them but im at such a weak point, i have no strength to hear that they choose eachother over me. Depression is becoming very painful. I feel so alone, I have no one to talk to, i feel so empty, all i end up with is memories and pictures, and once again im the on floating. I really thought they loved me. But now i feel that no one loves me, its making my depression worse, I realise i never have anyone to celebrate anything with. Never has anyone done anything to make their depressed friend feel better, but i never complained because no one is to blame. im scared im being pushed to the edge and il end up doing something stupid. Im alone, scared and frankly sick and tired of living this life. I don't know what i have done to deserve this, i really dont. All i ever did was care and yes i made some mistakes but i ended up alone. this depression is killing me and the girls dont care. help, please Link to comment
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