Can't shake her/my feelings for her

[hrb23]

So my full story can be found here

 

Excuse some of the details here, I just want to disclose everything, otherwise how can I be helped.

 

The day I posted that, I initiated NC. It was after a night we had where we had unprotected, It was at the very end of her period so we knew the chances of pregnancy were next to none.

 

That night I noticed she was being texted by a guy with a love heart emoji in his name on her contacts. I was very mad and she was very defensive. After the initial NC she decided to text me yesterday morning saying she was worried that she might be pregnant, I replied to ease her concerns, thus breaking NC. We started talking deeper and told each other how much we loved each other and would miss everything about each other. I said regardless I can't be a friend to you especially with this other guy in the picture. I initiated NC again.

 

This morning for the second morning in a row she contacts me. "hrb23 I cant stop thinking about that I might be pregnant, or get pregnant, im terrified, should I take the plan b again?"

 

I replied a few minutes ago telling her there's nothing I can do and it was her decision to do that with me knowing she was in contact with another guy that she clearly has some interest in. I told her I wasn't going to worry about it because I had other things to consider, MAINLY my health as I'm struggling with sleeping and eating since she broke up with me. I told her I was exhausted and just missed her. Then I said if she is that worried she should take the plan b, and in the unlikely scenario she IS pregnant, I would work through it with her as an adult that is willing to accept his responsibility.

 

Now I just need help with the NEXT step.

 

I want her back. Against my better judgment. I went on a date last night to help me move forward. It wasn't great. I felt myself working so hard to find a connection like I have with my ex but it was impossible and deep down I feel like it will always be impossible.

 

I love this girl so much. Losing her scares me more than anything in the world. Every dream I had last night involved her. I would wake up every hour from a new one. And even the good ones are bad because of the realization that she is almost certainly gone.

 

I'll let you know her reply when it comes.

 

Thanks everyone for being so beautiful and caring.

[Keyman]

Going on one date will not give you the same feeling that you had with your ex. You built up those feelings over time and not just from a single date. And, at this point in moving on, you shouldn't be looking for someone to fill the space. You should be dating to distract yourself from the break up and by 'dating' I mean hanging out with other people and having fun.

 

It is natural to want to keep going with someone that just broke up with you, but that may not be the best thing. There were reasons you broke up, and in this case, at the speculation that she has feelings for someone else. If you think thee is a chance, sit her down and talk to her about it. But if it turns out she is just playing your for this other guy, then run.

[Wiseman2]

Yikes,what's up with that? Could it be yours? What about this other guy? Is she sending him these same texts?

 

Is she creating drama to get your attention? You handled it well. Yeah, dates can seem empty and robotic if you're not ready.

she decided to text me yesterday morning saying she was worried that she might be pregnant. I said regardless I can't be a friend to you especially with this other guy in the picture. This morning for the second morning in a row she contacts me. "hrb23 I cant stop thinking about that I might be pregnant, or get pregnant, im terrified, should I take the plan b again?" Then I said if she is that worried she should take the plan b, and in the unlikely scenario she IS pregnant, I would work through it with her as an adult that is willing to accept his responsibility

[justshine1]

How old are you guys?

[hrb23]

Yikes,what's up with that? Could it be yours? What about this other guy? Is she sending him these same texts?

 

Is she creating drama to get your attention? You handled it well. Yeah, dates can seem empty and robotic if you're not ready.

 

It could only be mine, but as I said it's highly unlikely. When will I be ready? I don't want to compare everyone to this girl for the rest of my life.

 

How old are you guys?

 

We are both 23.

[DancingFool]

Please don't try to force dating or worse, jumping into another relationship. You just broke up. Your emotions are raw and you are not in any way or shape ready for someone else. That doesn't mean that you should take your ex back. All it means is that you need to give yourself time to heal and get over the break up.

 

Do yourself a favor and quit talking to your ex. She is doing nothing more than stirring up drama and every time your phone beeps with some nonsense from her, it puts you right back to zero in terms of healing. Tell her that you don't want to hear from her anymore. Then focus on yourself. What do you want from life, what have you been neglecting doing because of your ex? Focus on work, on friends, hobbies, find some new adventures, try things you don't think you'd like just for the heck of it, make a bucket list and pursue it. In other words, get to a point where you are actually happy and enjoying your single life. Once there, you will meet someone else. Despite what rom coms tell us, there is no such thing as the one. There are lots of lots of ones. Lots of people in this world you can have a wonderful deep connection with. It doesn't feel possible now, because you are not ready for it, but given time, you will be and it will happen. Have faith in yourself.

[hrb23]

I can't stop looking at the NEW GUYS Facebook. Like why am I doing this? It's like i'm comparing myself to him every time...

 

Why is he better than me? Why him and not me? What does he have that I don't?

 

So unhealthy.

[GeekLover]

I can't stop looking at the NEW GUYS Facebook. Like why am I doing this? It's like i'm comparing myself to him every time...

 

Why is he better than me? Why him and not me? What does he have that I don't?

 

So unhealthy.

 

Don't worry. I do it too. I think a lot of us do. It's like looking at an accident. You know you shouldn't but you just can't help yourself.

 

I do the same thing too-compare myself to the other woman. I feel so judgemental when I do. I know it's wrong and I feel like such a terrible person for assuming the worst about her...but I also know I'm doing it because I'm hurt and I suppose it's a (lame) way to try to regain some self esteem. I'm not at all the type of person to think I'm better than other people, but pain from a break up always seems to have a way of turning your heart to ice for awhile.

 

Stupid break ups.

 

That's my confession for the day.

 

Good luck, OP. The other man is not better than you. What we all need to remember is that our self worth can not be dictated by what someone thinks about us or feels about us.

 

Easier said then done though...