Blackmen & Whitewomen...is it trouble?

[newyorklegend]

I'm African American and I'm dating a caucasion woman....A southern caucasion woman at that!

Being in a relationship like this is not easy but we love each

other and our relationship is worth the struggle.

 

We receive more negative comments from other caucasion people than we do from non-caucasions and in the south it's even worse.

 

Within the last nine months in our relationship I've meet white folks who never had the opportunity to sit down and talk face-to-face with an African American man. I'm their first! The ones I met!

 

To me that's weird! But that's how it is.

 

I would like to hear from other interracial couples who are experiencing dis-comfort just because of who their partner is.

 

We love who we love and nothing is going to change that!

 

Will it always be a problem?

[keefy1972]

Isn't a problem if you two don't allow it to come between you. We are all human beings and love really is color blind. It's just unfortunate that not everyone thinks that way. I am sure your love for one another will be strong enough to withstand the occasional bouts with the ignorance of others. Stay strong!!

[DN]

I think it may be a problem for a long time, sad to say. Racial intolerance is so deeply entrenched that it is hard to eradicate. It can only be done by education and a willingness to stop it.

 

You can either let this intolerance destroy your relationship or decide that it will only strengthen it. Support each other, love each other and strike a blow by example for an end to the sort of attitudes you encounter.

 

Good luck.

[Day_Walker]

Sadly its not going to stop. People will always feel the need to make ignorant comments, try not to let it get you down.

[justsweetgirl]

Don't allow people's ignorance and intolerance stop you from loving who you choose to love. It may not always be easy, but it will always be worth it.

[christy67]

DON'T take sh** anyone says!!!

[Sugaree]

I'm white and my boyfriend is Dominican (black and Hispanic). Let me tell you, my grandparents and extended family were NOT happy to meet him. It's bad enough that he's black, but he's Latino too! They freaked out. They make little comments here and there and only outright make racial comments when he's not around, but we just learn to ignore it. I defend him and say that race shouldn't matter. It's been like 15 months and they still haven't accepted him.

Ignorance is everywhere. Intolerance is something we just have to deal with. Hopefully, someday, it won't be such a problem.

[DN]

I'm white and my boyfriend is Dominican (black and Hispanic). Let me tell you, my grandparents and extended family were NOT happy to meet him. It's bad enough that he's black, but he's Latino too! They freaked out. They make little comments here and there and only outright make racial comments when he's not around, but we just learn to ignore it. I defend him and say that race shouldn't matter. It's been like 15 months and they still haven't accepted him.

Ignorance is everywhere. Intolerance is something we just have to deal with. Hopefully, someday, it won't be such a problem.

 

Good for you for sticking to your guy. If more and more people act like you it may be a little sooner that racial intolerance is a thing of the past.

[pchellak]

The sad truth is that the racial tension will always be there till the older pre-civil rights generation dies out (my personal opinion). I'm an asian and i 've been in a relationship with a white girl, we sometimes faced pretty mean stares and comments. BUt luckily it didn't really affected our relationship much. Even in her family some older members sometimes made racial comments at get-togethers and then realize that i'm there.

 

Having said that there are still a lot of people who dont mind inter-racial relationships. You just need to be strong and your relationship will surely survive.

[Soon2beMrsPKC]

I'm African American and I'm dating a caucasion woman....A southern caucasion woman at that!

Being in a relationship like this is not easy but we love each

other and our relationship is worth the struggle.

 

We receive more negative comments from other caucasion people than we do from non-caucasions and in the south it's even worse.

 

Within the last nine months in our relationship I've meet white folks who never had the opportunity to sit down and talk face-to-face with an African American man. I'm their first! The ones I met!

 

To me that's weird! But that's how it is.

 

I would like to hear from other interracial couples who are experiencing dis-comfort just because of who their partner is.

 

We love who we love and nothing is going to change that!

 

Will it always be a problem?

 

 

If you let how other preceive you bother you, then its will become a problem in your relationship. I am a white female, my fiance is a black man and even though i come from a state where it is not uncommon to see IR relationship, we occasionally get side remarks, but it doens't cause a problem for us because we don't allow it. I had a situation not to long ago. We attended a movie and there were a group of black women on the ticket line behind us. The made it obvious they were either disgusted or jealous. I didn't show any reaction and neither did my partner. I understood they were young and ignorant, and the lack of respect not taught to them was the reason they acted the way did. I'm sure they wanted some reaction from either of us, but see we don't care what others think. They are the ones with the problem.

[I_love_rain_hugs_and_you]

WHo gives a flip about what people say about you. If you are in love, then you are in love. Ignore negative comments.

[mccarleighp]

love is worth fighting for

[eleanorrigby1]

Its soooo sad when other people's prejudices make people's relationships a hardship. You are inlove, you should be happy out there celebrating your love for each other, and yet small minded people try and spoil it with their totally unwanted opinions.

 

Unfortunately for some people its a case of, the way they were brought up, introjected values passed onto their by their racist ancestors. Some of them don't even realise that what they think are wrong. They will say things like "I'm not racist, I have lots of black friends, I just don't want black grandkids!" without even realising how racist that statement is!

 

When I was younger I went out with a black guy, he was sooooo sweet and yet my father went absolutely mental at me, he didnt want me, as a white woman going out with a black guy. I have black male friends who have been scared to go to their girlfriend's house because of their racist fathers and they have described to be the humiliation of waiting at the end of their street like a criminal to avoid being seen together. Because of the colour of their skin! its ridiculous!

 

I dont know if there will ever come a day when racism is completely eradicated, its something I have been brought up with.

 

Your love should survive this, dont let them break you.

[Momene]

I think it depends on where you live. I would have thought that New York would be OK but I've only ever passed through it. My first wife was Chinese from Malaysia and my wife is from Chile. We've met some prejudice and curiosity but no real venom.

 

Funniest thing was our friends asked us to look after their children and I wondered why everyone was looking at us when we took them out. Our friends are African! Probably thought they were ours and adopted.

 

Also some people don't believe our daughter is mine until I tell them where my wife comes from.

[pchellak]

I look at some of those comments that say 'its no big deal, just ignore the hurtful comments'. My guess would be those people have not experienced a interracial relationship firsthand. The truth of the matter is in some parts of the US, people (usually country folks of a certain race) shun and hate you when they see such a relationship. MOst of them are also vocal about it. Since these fellas are a majority in some places like WV & PA, it gets to you and starts affecting the relationship eventually. Human beings are after all social animals and we depend on other human beings.

[lilac_indi]

i dont have a problem with inter racial relationships. i am indian and my ex is white caucasian. my family went mental and the abuse they gave him was horrible. i went through a lot of hell with my family because he was white. our relationship broke due to my family pressure amongst other things. i dont see the big deal at all - its just how things are and thats how people are brought up. its sad how things like these never change.

 

my cousin's husband is black and my family and extended family were divided cause of this. however, they accepted it cause she has multiple sclerosis and no indian family would have accepted her cause of this. how messed up is that?

 

anyways i can say that in the future when i have children they will be free to marry who they wish..doesnt matter what culture their partner is from as long as they are happy and i will defend them against anyone who makes stupid comments against them.

[sweet_bebcho]

I've been in an interracial relationship now for the past 2 1/2 years. I'm of caribbean heritage, while he's eatern european. I've never met his parents. i've heard him tell them on the phone point blank that i'm the person he wants to be with and thats that. His dad doesn't mind us, but his mom just wont quit. Its not there fault really as they grew up in the sovient union during communism and war. they dont know how to think outside the box. They were told what to think and feel.

However my family are completely fine with him. There is no way that I would let the views of his parents over-shadow our relationship. When it was new i thought about ending because i thought that we wouldnt be accepted by our peers/ family/society. I'm glad that i didnt because in the end we would have been the unhappy ones. People on the outside shouldn't factor in your relationship. If you truly care for and love each other you wont let what they say affect you. I know its hard. we still get looks but i just put it down to fact that we look gorgeous together.lol. Once you let go of these things. You'll have a better relationship.

[lilac_indi]

we still get looks but i just put it down to fact that we look gorgeous together.lol.

 

lol good for you - thats the way it should be. if you are in love with each other then others' views and opinions should count for nothing. to end your relationship because of other people's prejudices means that you will be the one who will be unhappy. i hope you two keep going strong!

[Pippa]

Newyorklegend, your story isn`t trouble. Its the way how society is.

 

Don`t forget not all society thinks like that, and your girlfriend proves that.

 

You are definitely not alone. I m scottish, but I m chinese/scottish. I a china man born in a white society. I m what the chinese community call a `bamboo boy`, or a `banana`. (yellow on the outside, but white on the inside)

 

Although some scottish people are racist, others wouldnt even bat an eyelid at you.

 

I have to say I NEVER had any problems with my white girlfriend, and she was english! She was born in England, and lives in Scotland. (Scotland, and England are 2 different countries, and centuries ago, they where at war, hence the film `Braveheart`, starring Mel Gibson)

 

To be honest, the scottish can be a strange mix. Why? Well they hate the English more than the coloured folk!!

 

This is a strange planet we live on! lol

[doyathink]

You know you can't live your life only to please others! Someone will always want to stir the waters and not like something about your life....

 

Please your partner and yourself, the others will accept it or not...