Alone and depressed

[positiveone]

It's been a month and a half since we broke up from our 2.5 year relationship. I'm alone, I'm depressed, I'm missing her every moment of every day and I constantly wonder why she wants to be without me and focus on herself. I made my fair share of mistakes but so did she. I wanted to work on things but she was done.

 

I'm f*cking miserable and that is an understatement. I literally might aswell be dead because I feel as if I already am.

 

Help.

[Dahl]

I'm sorry that you're feeling so wretched.

 

Can you elaborate on your situation? I'd like to help if I can.

[namharnotalone]

PostiveOne,

 

I am so sorry! I understand how you feel - and I understand nothing anyone says can take that pain away. It feels like the only way you can be whole again is if the one who left, returns. It's easier said than done, but that is simply not the case. Too often we look at the end of a relationship as the end of our ability to love and be loved. It's odd how quickly people can move on from a failed job, failed test, failed anything else. But relationships - it's dooms day. Just as quickly as we can peel ourselves off the floor from being laid off, fired, or rejected in any other aspect of our life - we should just as gracefully pull ourselves out of the black hole of misery after a breakup. You have a new, better, version of you waiting to emerge - one that couldn't be born without experiencing this moment.

 

That said, I am right here with you. I too experienced an awful heartbreak. People at work and my personal life still ask about him, assuming we got back together b/c we seemed so happy. I experienced death and so many other losses. This one, for some reason, paralyzed me. It felt like the rest of the world wasn't real. How could everyone be so happy? They must never have experienced what you and I are going through, right? We're wrong there. There are plenty of people walking around - better, healed, and happy, after a heartbreak or two or three or more. It is an aching pain that comes alive in the moments spent alone, I know. But with time, if you and I both work on ourselves - truly work on ourselves - and take the time to understand the lesson the universe is trying to teach us about ourselves, it will be worth it. Now, if we continue to weep and wallow and let our significant others who walked away from all the potential greatness we hold permanently take over, we'll lose all the way through. Is that any way to live?

 

I feel your soul because I'm suffering too. If you feel down, feel free to post on sites like this. There is a tremendous amount of support on these sites and our own personal resources. Let's use them.

[2600degrees]

I'm so sorry. Many of us have been through this, and the best advice I can give is, it get's better. Do you have any friends you can reach out to? Maybe find ways to take your mind off of this? Family maybe? You are loved.

 

-J

[positiveone]

Namhrnotalone,

 

Your comment comforts me, wish I had someone to hangout with going through the same thing. Being alone is most definitly what I consider to be hell.

 

I didn't (block) her social media but I deleted her on everything. I also did not block her phone number in case I were to receive a text .. is it wrong that I dont block her? Is that holding out hope for something? ...

 

*Thank you to everyone who has responded.

[namharnotalone]

Taking any action that shifts focus from working on yourself to your ex - which includes blocking, unfriending, etc - is unhealthy and delays your better days. Trust me, I know because I made those mistakes. I focused all my energy on doing things I thought would make my ex thing of me, even in the most minor way like posting a comment under mutual friends pics. It doesn't matter. Focus on YOU. She was in your world, now she's apart of your history. She's lucky she had a role in what could become a much better you, orrr she could be relieved if you remain miserable. Don't you wanna be happy without relying on someone else? How exhausting that is, depending on someone else.

 

If blocking you ex or unfriending them will help you make progress in your own improvement and help you move on, then yes do it! However, if you're secretly hoping this kind of action might make her think of you and why you did it, maybe you should log off and delete the app or her phone number etc altogether. Do what's best for you, only you. Be selfish, pretend you're dating yourself

[Dahl]

pretend you're dating yourself

 

This is a brilliant piece of advice.

 

Good looking out.