Why is he being so cruel all of a sudden?

[donotmicrowave]

We had been together for almost 4 years, but broke up.

 

After the break up, he begged me to be friends with him, and we got along pretty well. Then, as we had some time apart, things started "clicking" again. 3 weeks after the break up, we spent a week together in a hotel, and it was amazing. We were like a couple again, I felt like he really loved me.

 

After that week, everything was still fine. We flirted, had fun, played games, he was positive about our future and he was a sweetheart. We had settled to calling our thing a "break", which was understandable. A new important chapter was beginning in his life, and our relationship's last few months had been HELL!! Yeah, serious hell! So, we both needed time.

 

Suddenly, in a few days (3), everything changed. He suddenly got all cold and told me that he "doesn't want anything with me" and what not. But the thing is, I know him, and he knows that would hurt me. And he is the sweetest guy ever, he would never say hurtful things like that if his head was straight (not looking for excuses, trust me).

 

He has been pretty cold ever since, some days we don't talk at all. He has seen pictures of me and some other guy, and he has also seen me being happy and moving on and such (we agreed our lives wouldn't stop and we'd just enjoy ourselves).

 

I haven't been intimate with anyone, of course not. But I really don't get it, how can THE SWEETEST GUY I KNOW turn cruel like that? The things he says are so hurtful. I try to remain calm, but I really am hurting.

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately he meant fwb, not friends and you misunderstood hotel week as sort of reconciling, so now he's pushing back.

After the break up, he begged me to be friends with him. our relationship's last few months had been HELL!! Yeah, serious hell! He suddenly got all cold and told me that he "doesn't want anything with me" and what not.

[donotmicrowave]

Unfortunately he meant fwb, not friends and you misunderstood hotel week as sort of reconciling, so now he's pushing back.

 

We talked about it all, though. We agreed that he needs a few months to see where his football career is going and what's going to happen to his life. But he still wants to be together in the future. He even said that he can be my "plan B" if I happen to find someone else..

 

He is a very honest person, and he respects himself a lot. He would NEVER settle with a "FWB" type of thing.

[Wiseman2]

Yet that's exactly what he's doing... or you are doing by sleeping together ad hoc after breaking up.

He would NEVER settle with a "FWB" type of thing.

[HeartGoesOn]

It sounds like rather than going slowly and taking the time to work through any issues, you put the cart before the horse and assumed you were back together. My guess is he was thinking booty call, while you thinking reconciliation. No offense, but he may be the "sweetest guy" but that was an offer he couldn't refuse.

 

I'm sure it's a tough pill to swallow, but you're better off accepting that it's over and walking away with your head held high.

[Hollyj]

He doesn't see a future, or else he would not risk losing you. The "Plan B" bit is awful

 

Go NC, block and move on.

[Dahl]

He doesn't see a future, or else he would not risk losing you. The "Plan B" bit is awful

 

Go NC, block and move on.

 

This is an excellent point. OP, in addition to not doing this if he truly does not mean to risk losing you, I believe that he would not do it if he truly meant to not hurt you.

 

I'm not saying that he's trying to hurt you or that he's a bad chap or doing anything wrong. He seems to have been clear about his position.

 

But I think that you are misguided in your unshakable faith that he simply will not do anything that might hurt you. You're already there, I'm afraid.