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Need help - Is there still a chance of getting back together?


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Hey all.

First I want to say, English is not my native language so bear with me.


I am going to give as much information as I can.


24-12-16 my ex and I had our first date. It was an amazing spark from both sides. We ate, drank, booked a hotel, had sex and slept togheter. I know... Sorry.

After that we dated on 25-12, 26-12, 28-12, 31-12 and 01-01. It was amazing! So we decided to be officially girlfriend and boyfriend on 01-01-17 (cheesy, but worth it )


The relationship lasted till 11-02-17. It was so amazing. The reason she broke up with me is a long story:


I had been using steroids from december 2015, and decided to stop when i met this girl. Stopping after so long using it can be hard. And it was sometimes.

She was already waiting for her new house for more than 2 years. Moved back in with her parents. Not a good relationship with her mother. The house was ready on 17-02. So all, stressfull period. For both of us. (There was more stress, that had nothing to do with eachotter)


Because of this stressfull period, we had some 'fights' and arguments the last week prior to the breakup. (Sorry if my English sucks, i'll do my best)

After the last fight, she decided she wanted rest. (No breakup yet, just some rest). I made a very bad mistake and didn't give her the rest she asked for. And whined on Whatsapp, that i was broken and wanted to be with her. So on 11-02 she decided to break up with me. The reason was she couldn't handle the extra stress that came with our 'fights'. She wanted to first settle in her new house (I was moving in with her, but more of this later). Have time for herself. Figure things out. Get rest.

The house is still not ready for her to settle. She can move in completely around 25/26-02.


(sorry if its so unclear and I move from one thing to another, i'll just give as much information as possible)


Things she said on whatsapp between 11-02 and 15-02:

I just need rest

I need to settle first by myself

I don't know about the future, maybe we get back togheter

I just couldn't handle the extra stress at this moment

Real feelings, wrong moment


On 15-02 we went to a restaurant togheter. I picked her up, gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. It was nice, it felt good for both of us. We held hands alot in the restaurant. We walked arm in arm to the restaurant. And after the restaurant back to the car again. When we arrived at my car, I gently pulled her towards me and gave her a hug. It was a very nice hug for both of us. I could feel that. Then we looked in eachotters eyes and she kissed me. First seconds i refused, but she said something like: Come kiss me. So we kissed. Pretty long and pretty nice.


On the way back in my car it all felt nice. We talked about good stuff. She told me that she said to her best friend: "Maybe we should start over dating again".

After we arrived at her house, we stayed in the car for like an hour. She was lying on top of me. We talked. We kissed. We hugged. She had a good time.


The next day i made the mistake to text her that i liked it alot, and that i wanted to date her again. Like let's have a first date again. I ended the text with I love the way you kiss.


She replied that she got carried away because of the situation (I hope this is how you say it). She said she had double feelings. And that she needed to settle on her own and that we both need rest.



Extra information



Before we decided that i was moving in with her. The plan was that her best friend was moving in with her. She didn't want that anymore because she wanted to live with me.

So a few days ago i asked her if her best friend was moving in with her again? She said no, that she didn't want that anymore. (Maybe she still has hopes of coming back togheter? And that's why she don't want her best friend to move in with her again?)



She still has our very romantic picture on her facebook and instagram. On instagram she placed in the description: #Iamsorryitsover and a kiss emoji.

Does this say anyting?



We have normal contact and are not fighting or something like that. Sometimes i text her, sometimes she textst me. I know I need to stop texting her because of the no contact phase. I'm trying this.



Our relationship was short but very intense. We both had a lot of bed partners and dates. But never liked someone enough to start a relationship with. But when we met eachotter we started a relationship after 6 days! So that means she likes/liked me ALOT. That feeling is not over so fast, i guess? Especially because of the restaurant/kiss situation?


5. We are both 27 years old. She had one relationship before me, that lasted 4 years. I had 2 serious relationships before her, 2 years and 3 years.


I want her back so badly. That's all i can say. I know I need to heal. But I just want her back as fast as possible


If you read all this, what do you guys think? Does she still like me? Is there a chance of getting back together? What should I do? Just your opinions please.



Thanks alot

And again sorry for my English. And somewhat unclear story.

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you barely knew eachother and started a relationship, AND wanted to move in together, AND she's close to her ex.


this is why it went awry. you can't have a relationship with no foundation.


i would close this chapter in my mind as a nice adventure that lasted as long as these things last.


no contact isn't a phase. it means that after breaking up with someone you end contact, so that each moves on with their life separately from one another.


if you are considering playing games with contacting or not contacting her to win her back, then if you were to win her back, you would be agreeing to a non-relationship with a stranger who doesn't want anything serious with you and isn't emotionally (and maybe physically) done with her ex.


so. if you're not happy with this now, you can choose to put it behind you, or you can choose to prolong your misery.


your english is nice btw .

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Thanks for your reply.


I don't know where I said she is close to her ex? Because she isn't.


Please everyone, I know we didn't last long. But I also know that it was real, very strong and that besides all the other stressfull things we were super for eachotter.

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Before we decided that i was moving in with her. The plan was that her best friend was moving in with her. She didn't want that anymore because she wanted to live with me.

So a few days ago i asked her if her best friend was moving in with her again? She said no, that she didn't want that anymore. (Maybe she still has hopes of coming back togheter? And that's why she don't want her best friend to move in with her again?)

this part made me think her best friend is her ex and she is considering getting back together with them and moving in with them.


in any case, if someone she has known a month wants to move in with her, it'll put her off if she has any wit about her.


there is such a thing as too close too soon, and this was way too close too soon.

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I think there's always a chance with most relationship for reconciliation. I'd say the best thing to do for now is to back off completely. Don't ask her to get back with you, don't make plans to see her, and don't reach out by texting or calling her. Let her do all the work. If she wants to be with you she would tell you that straight up.


Basically.... cut her of from contact and see where that takes you. Maybe she'll miss you and want to work things out. Just don't act needy and desperate for her.

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you can't have a relationship with no foundation.


This is the take-away, most important point I think anyone can make to you to help you in your present situation. I hope you take it to heart.


Is there any chance?..

In the sense that nothing is impossible..


No, I'm thinking the chance is too close to nil to call. I'm sorry. I can't imagine that you want to hear this, but I hope you are feeling willing to take a step away from this / dating and turn your focus and attention on healing, restoring and shoring up yourself.


Good luck.

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  • 3 weeks later...

No ofcourse not

Here is the story:


After my 20-02 message "She just texted me if i want to go to the movies tonight.." we went to the movies. We decided to eat some spacecake, my first time xD. Long story short, we both had a bad trip and things got messy. Early in the evening we kissed, but later she said it didnt feel right for her. I begged en whined in the car back home, because of the bad trip, I really didnt want to beg en whine. We gave eachotter a hug, said goodbye as in we never see eachotter again, and I left.


The next day I texted her what I did and did say. I really didnt know anymore. She send a long reply, that she didnt feel anything for me anymore, I had to move on and be happy with another girl, and that we were never getting back together. That was 21-02. I went no contact since then.


01-03 I had a date with a girl, she was really nice and cute. We ate some sushi and I posted it on Facebook. That night my ex texted me something like she didnt like it. And go and try to be happy with her. She was kinda negative and emotional. I gave a short reply but she kept texting me very long messages, at like 03:00. So I said: You are sending me way to long messages at midnight, you are not over me girl. She replied I was right, and that she liked the way I was messaging her (that night). I was kinda cold and not caring. Long story short, we planned a date.


08-03 I went to her house, we watched tv, hugged and kissed. We decided that I should stay over. So I slept with her and we had sex.

09-03 The next morning we had sex again, hugged and kissed alot. Went somewhere to eat breakfast. She really seemed to enjoy it. I went home, but later that night we had 'date' again. We watched our favorite serie and had sex again. She was very close the whole evening. And told me that she really liked the sex.


Tonight I see her again and stay over the night again.



So it's true, once you move on they always come back xD.

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