goodvibess Posted February 19, 2017 Share Posted February 19, 2017 Hello all, appreciate very much that you guys are reading To give some background, I've been dating this guy for almost a month now. We aren't exclusive, so technically "seeing" each other but we do communicate and we are only seeing each other and not other people. I'm known to be very open and trustworthy and he seems to be a trustworthy guy. However, I've had guys lie to my face before, and I do have some trust issues, so I would seek constant validation that he is still just seeing me or if he still feels it with me. In that regard, I feel really needy but I definitely worked on it and I try my best to be reasonable and give people the space and benefit of the doubt. I've told him to be open and honest if anything were to change in his part. So I do believe we have a good amount of respect for each other, I do think he struggles a bit with communicating his feelings or wrapping his head around emotional things, and I'm an emotional person but it's working out for the time being. So the problem is, he has a lot of guy friends, and he parties and drinks on the weekends all night, with his friends. I don't mind but sometimes I do worry things might happen sometimes with other girls (girls that are friends with his friends cause he literally doesn't have female friends). Considering we are only seeing each other, I don't have that "label" security. So I don't want to say anything that would rub him the wrong way, but I solely believe in space in a relationship. Going to me, most of my friends are male. Strictly friends. I've never ed one, never had a casual dating phase with them, none whatsoever. He does know that, but I recently recorded a video and posted it on snapchat of my friends birthday party with my friends and I, hanging out ( 2 guys and another girl ). Earlier that day though he called me and we talked, and he said he would call later that night. So I texted him while I was at at the party when he was going to call because it was getting a bit late (12am). I knew he was out with his guy friends, but he still insisted in calling when I told him he should just have fun with this friends and call me when he can. He texts back "Looks like there are plenty of guys at the party, you can talk to them. " He put a winking-kiss emoji. I wasn't sure if this was his way of being playful or he was just alarmingly jealous. I mean don't get me wrong I get jealous too, but I don't act on it or say it in that way. I felt disrespected, I felt like he didn't trust me and it ruined the rest of the night for me. I called him and told him how I felt. He just said "Don't worry, I'm not mad! Relax and have fun." I brought up how I felt disrespected and knowingly I gave him freedom to be with his friends, now I feel like he made me feel guilty for hanging out with mines. It just seems semi-manipulative. Anyways, I guess most girls would be happy a guy is jealous but I find it scary. He also REALLY believes he's not a jealous type. Another concern was when I asked him "What if a guy just swooped in and tried to take your girl, or flirt with her?" His response was "I will find another girl to talk to." I told him this was a pure jealous move. But he denied it being so because he isn't jealous of the guy. He is talking to another girl cause he will know the girl will be jealous and come back. So now I feel maybe he's narcissistic? So that rang in the back of my mind when this "go talk to other guys" text came in, and all I thought was, he is probably talking to other girls now cause he thinks I'm talking to other guys ._. So sorry for the long message, but it'll be nice to see some different perspectives. This is how I feel. I really like him and I feel we have potential but should I have been mad? Should I have communicated so? Is he being jealous? Manipulative? Link to comment
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