Does this happen to anyone else (guys or girls)?

[Nap-Man]

has anyone else noticed that when you are dating someone seriously that you get hit on a lot more? I dated a girl for three years and I swear I have never had so many opportunities present themselves to me. It seemed that the more clearly I stated that I would never cheat on my woman the more women I attracted. The ironic part is once she dumped me now it is a struggle to meet quality women. Of course this assumes that women who hit on men in serious relationships are "quality". In retrospect I should have cheated on her every chance I had since she dumped me anyway.

 

All kidding aside, I would never cheat and that was never an option in my head. Why though do women like to hit on guys that are "taken"? Is it the challenge? Is it because it is wrong? Don't they/you feel that you are doing something wrong by trying to take someone elses partner away? Is this just my experience? Does this happen to women too?

[hockeyboy]

I think one thing is that when your taken your not on the hunt so to speak. Your not trying to impress anyone so you naturally come accross as yourself and more confident, which is attractive to people.

[Beec]

I don't agree that you should have cheated on her. You should not cheat. Dump them, don't cheat.

 

But this happens to most of us. When you are single and not meeting women, you begin to get desparate and desparation chases women away. You also might be happier, if the relationship feels decent. You have a different attitude, and it can attract people to you.

[lady00]

I think he was just kidding about the cheating comment.

[ForAnother]

yeah he was jokin about cheating..

 

but I think another thing to consider is that time moves pretty quick when your in a relationship... and maybe it seemed like a lot of girls hit on you, but perhaps it wasn't that many it just seemed as tho cuz of the swiftness of the relationship.

 

Also a psychological kind of look at it, perhaps you block those 3 years into one catagory, and it becomes a "period" in your life, so when you look back you count up the girls that hit on you, but remember it was over a course of time... wait 3 years, and consider how many girls hit on you.

 

*shrug* but yeah, typically more girls hit on you cuz your taken, cuz your more confident. Some girls like the challenge, but not for you, but to destroy the other female. Not destroy, but overcome... kind ofa confidence thing.

 

ForAnother

[providentielle]

some people just want what other people have got and when you see someone all happy and loved up you think "i want that" some people confuse that with "i want him/her" because that is the relationship they saw the happiness in

[ForAnother]

Agreed provi.

 

ForAnother

[MetallicAguy]

Some girl who I thought lost interest in me (I had sat somewhere else because of a new seating arrangement) now displays a lot of obvious signs that she likes me. CONSTANT pulling of the hair, so much it's like she seems frustrated lol. And looking my way a lot. Well I got her interest again because I became more unpredictable with clothing lol, and that the fact that I've been talking and making this popular girl (not interested in) laugh and she flirts with me. So this other chick (who likes me) is probably jealous lol.

[BlueCoconut]

Yup, I used to get hit on a lot then. Now that we broke up, I still get hit on, but a lot less. I think as everyone else said, when you are dating some you display a lot more confidence, and you pay very little or no attention to all those trillion women. Results is you appear to them as a challenge, and seeing your girl's happiness... jeaousy? Or could it be just because you are not looking for their attention.

 

I noticed that on those days where I cared little for women around me, they hit on me a lot more, and when another i would be in the mood to flirt around it would reverse.

 

Oh well... but I would like to know too if it happens to women too.

Though I doubt it, because most guys I know won't hit an attached woman, and if they will it really won't make a difference whether or not she is attached. They probably get hit on as much as before or less.

[CarterJonas]

lol. I know how you feel. When I was in a relationship I had quite a lot of women hitting on me, now that I am single I seem to attract much younger girls. Strange but I can't seem to find one around my age

[YZRiderF]

this just happened to me tuesday. There was a new girl in our school that i was interested in but never talked to her cause i didnt even know her name at the time i was single at the time but now i have a gf. Anyways i walked in to english class to take a test i missed and during powder puff practice she was saying that boy who came into english class was so hott then my gf was like thats my bf. It does seem like women come on to you more when your taken.

[aphrodite24]

Oh yeah. Being in a serious relationship ( like the one I am in now) is like a huge neon sign saying..."I'm taken, come and ask me out." I get hit on every now and then, and when I tell them that I'm taken, they tell me how much of a lucky guy my bf is to have me. I'm a lucky girl to have someone as wonderful as my bf.

[a.d.c.]

I was gonna make a topic of this exact same thing but I got beaten to it.

It's strange that it happens huh? I really don't understand it.

 

Anyways since my 2 year relationship ended, I've managed to replace my ex with girl friends. It works just the same. Other females think that they're my girlfriends when they're just friends and they become interested.

 

That's why I'd rather hang with girl friends than my guy friends a lot of the time.

[Nap-Man]

Nice to know that I am not the only one that has this experience. ForAnother you may be right, I never thought of it that way, but it still seems like there were so many more available women when I was dating my ex.

 

For the record I never did and never will cheat on a girlfriend, that was a joke. I'll dump them before I would ever cheat.

 

There are too many perspectives here to address all on one post. I am so glad this got a large response. I think I like the idea of having friends who are girls around so girls think I am taken, that sounds like a smooth little game. Of course it may get shot to hell when they find out I am single.

 

I think that the reason women are more attracted to guys is relationships may be because of the attitude that guys have when they are "taken",

just like BlueCoconut said. Who knows? All of these posts made sense to me. I like that it happens to women too, or at least one!

[Borashi]

The reason why you might notice more girls hitting on you when your dating is because your more focused on being "faithful" While you might have beliefs and values, it's definitely tough to stay committed to one person when most people have so many different options to choose from.

 

Consider this:

Do you ever notice when you buy a new car, lets say a mazda 6 and then after the first week or so you start noticing how many of those cars are on the road? It's because you've focused in on those other cars because you own one with the same interests. Apply the same concept to when your dating or have a g/f.