MaggiePie Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 One time my partner and I were drunk in a party in our home with 8 or 10 friends. We were having a good time, and then out of nowhere he just turned his back and refused to acknowledge me for almost an hour. He started flirting with a friend of his who he almost had something with right before we started our relationship, and I asked him what he was doing, and is he trying to get together with her. He told me he wanted to have sex with her, end our relationship, etc. The next day he said he didn't mean any of it, that he was drunk and thought I wanted to sleep with his friend who was at the party, so he wanted to hurt me. I literally talked to this guy once at the party, and it was with my boyfriend. This has happened several times, where he does or says something hurtful regarding sex with other girls, etc to get me back for something that he imagined, or something someone else said to him. I have tried to forgive, but in this particular situation it is difficult for me because a week later he hung out with this girl. I said I don't feel comfortable with that and think that at least for awhile he has lost his rights to be friends with her to give me time to heal. He gets very mad about this, doesn't think it is reasonable at all, and even said at one point that his friendship with her is more important than his relationship with me. He continues to hang out with her from time to time, she is friends with his younger brother and he hangs out with them at his parents house sometimes, takes pictures of her sometimes when they hang out, invites her when we have plans to do something together with friends, dances with her when I go to the bathroom at a party. I am super jealous, and he says this is all my problem and not his, which greatly angers me because I feel like it's actually problems he created, then afterwards has absolutely no respect for my feelings. I now feel like I don't matter, feel very insecure and jealous, which I did not feel before all of this. Is it unreasonable of me to feel like he should give up friendship with her to help me feel comfortable again? Link to comment
angrythoughts Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 He's immature. Dump him. He broke up with you to hook up with someone else and apologized the next day with the excuse that he was drunk! That's super immature and he doesn't care enough about your feelings clearly. You can do better. Don't waste your time with him. There's a whole world of dudes out there that'll treat you better. Link to comment
MaggiePie Posted February 13, 2017 Author Share Posted February 13, 2017 He didn't actually hook up with her. I would have broken up with him immediately. I caused a big scene about it and the party ended awhile after, but he keeps making the point that he didn't act on his thoughts, that he was drunk, that it's my problem that. I can't get over it,, etc. But. I feel like if the roles were reversed, I would be doing everything I could to make him feel better, including not continuing to be good friends with the person. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 He's doing the classic cheater thing: projecting onto you what he either does or wants to do himself. You can put up with this if you want, it's not against the law, but I'd be outta there. He's hostile, belligerent and follows that with further pursuit of another woman. I'd skip him so fast his head would spin. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 "said at one point that his friendship with her is more important than his relationship with me." This is all you need to know. He clearly does not respect or love you. The guy sounds like a manipulative, vindictive jerk. Why have you allowed this for so long? Dump him! Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 He doesn't love you, OP. Why are hanging on? Link to comment
Toni Alfred Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 It is not unreasonable to feel like he should give up his "friendship" with her especially since the whole situation is completely his fault! He acts jealous and possessive of you, accuses you of cheating, yet feels no remorse for telling you he wants to cheat on you with others and constantly hurting your feelings. Honestly, I think you should dump him. he is not worth it. He behaves like a defensive cheater who tries to make you feel guilty and at fault for his own failings. If he says the other girl is more important to him than you and said girl is not family then you better cut your loses now while you still can. Link to comment
MaggiePie Posted February 13, 2017 Author Share Posted February 13, 2017 Thanks for the responses, but some real advice would be much appreciated. I love him and want to get over it, but am at a loss for how to proceed. Link to comment
angrythoughts Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 Thanks for the responses, but some real advice would be much appreciated. I love him and want to get over it, but am at a loss for how to proceed. You proceed by dumping him. That's the best advice you're gonna get. He doesn't respect you and staying with him is lowering your pride and dignity as a person. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 Thanks for the responses, but some real advice would be much appreciated. I love him and want to get over it, but am at a loss for how to proceed. I'd want to get over it, too. From far away. Link to comment
JaggerJim Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 Thanks for the responses, but some real advice would be much appreciated. I love him and want to get over it, but am at a loss for how to proceed. The real advice is to dump him. Why should you get over it? He's mean to you and you keep turning a blind eye. Link to comment
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