What should I do?:(

[kaybdjekex]

So I know this probably sounds stupid but I've been dating my boyfriend for close to a year now and we both love each other a lot. I love him so much but yet I know he isn't right for me. He constantly puts drugs(mostly weed, but also other drugs) over everything else. He goes to college but spends 75% or more of his time smoking. He has no hobbies or interests outside of getting ed up. He'll be hours late to plans we make due to him getting high and he constantly puts his drug use over his schooling, getting a job and over me. Other than that our relationship is amazing though. He's nicer to me than any guy I've ever been with and I know he loves me a lot. His family loves me and my family loves him. He's so sweet and I feel so comfortable around him but it's gotten to the point where I can't stay in this relationship if he continues to live like this. I've brought it up to him multiple times and he always apologizes and tells me I'm more important to him than drugs... but like it doesn't feel that way. He apologizes but nothing changes. I really do love him so I really really don't want to break up with him but I feel like I need to because I have goals & ambitions. I don't smoke anymore or party. I'm living a healthy life style and trying to have the most successful life I can and he's just not on the same page at all. I just don't know what to do because every time I think about breaking up with him I start crying and my heart feels like it's being torn out. The last thing I want to do is break up but I feel like it'd be the right thing.. any suggestions or advice?

[Rockchick26]

I wish i had some advice for you but I just wanted to say this almost could have been written by me, except my bf has a job and we haven't met each others families. I struggle every day with this same question, what should I do...because I am trying to better my life and he is content with smoking pot any chance he gets, and complaining about being unmotivated to improve his life but not doing anything about it. Valentines Day is coming up which i'm sure is on your mind too. I feel like every day things get worse between us yet also harder to leave him because I love him but I know he isn't good for me in the long run. I am curious to see what others say.

[SooSad33]

Yup- dont let someone get in between you & your ambitions in life. You've got your life and they have theirs.

 

Always watch their actions... not words.

 

If you feel like a lot less.. then you're probably right. No good outcome with this guy.. sorry

[Wiseman2]

His problem is crystal clear. What about your problems? Find support and get information and help.

/

 

 

"When someone you love has a problem with alcoholism or addiction, your life is affected. You probably spend a large amount of time and energy obsessing about the alcoholic or addict. You may feel a wide range of unpleasant emotions, including anger, rage, fear or anxiety. You may worry yourself sick. You have a hard time putting effort and energy into your own life.

 

In time, you realize that nothing you say or do is making much of a difference in the behavior of the alcoholic or addict. Whether or not your loved one chooses to get help, the best thing you can do is get help for yourself. One of the best places to get help and learn new coping skills is by going to Al-Anon or Nar-Anon."

[No1]

You two are on opposite sides of the spectrum. He has NO ambitions in life and you to. I wonder why you love him so much? Because he treats you right? No where did you say you were happy, just mentions that he treats you nicer than any guy. Here is a pro tip for you. There are A LOT of guys that would treat you nice and some that are more compatible than this guy. Now about your BF..

 

What does his actions vs his words say to you? He has said you are more important than smoking but what has his actions said? Weed is more important. Its more important than his school, you, and it is his life and look at his possible future. If you stay with him, you are going to have to make the money, buy the house, the car, the furniture and he is going to work just hard enough to buy his weed. You are going to be his second mama. Unless he stops, he is going no where.

 

I think you know what you should do, but afraid to admit it for fear of finding another guy or being single. There are plenty of guys out there who would love to be with someone like you.

 

You two are not on the same path.