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Confused Emotions

Sarah Hummer

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Hello in new here and have never posted anything before but I need others options on my situation. I am a single mom of two teenagers, a son and a daughter. Well my daughter is a cheerleader for basketball and I go to watch her cheer and the game. There's this girl on her team who's father was talking to her wanting to introduce each other. So I was very surprised because no one would ever talk to me at the games unless it's a " hello how are you" words. He eventually sat next to me and we started talking. Im 37 tall long blonde hair blue eyes and he is 45 and a police officer in my home town. I was so surprised he was interested in me being a police officer!! Im like "wow". So we started texting and calling each other starting Dec.22 of last year. We seem to like each other he's taken me out to dinner and we always sit next to each other at the games if and when he doesn't have to work. We have had sex 3 times, w/ me intionating the first time and have fun. I text him and tell him how much I want to kiss all over his body and touch him, im very turned on by him every time were together. He is the first guy that has wanted to meet me or show interest in me in years. This past September I got out of a 5 years toxic relationship. He was an alcoholic. So in very happy this new man wants me. The issue it seems is that now in showing him what he was showing me from the start that I want to be w/ him and it seems like he's drifting in a way as to not texting g me as much as he use to. I asked him the 3rd time when we were laying in his bed if he only wanted the sex and he said no. He said he wouldn't keep coming around me if he only wanted the sex and he's showed that to me. He's came over to my house on the days he wasn't working or busy, I be made dinner for him a few of the nights and he's ordered pizza a few times. My son had his friends over and he would bring his daughter along w/ my daughter and we all would hang out. But now I haven't talked to him in a day and a half sense he was my driver for when I needed sadation yesterday morning when I was getting pain shots in my neck. He dropped me off my place and haven't heard from him. Idk if in coming on too strong or what. I really like this man and not going to play games. He said he goes slow in new relationship so he doesn't get hurt. I understand that cause that's how I feel but I can't help wanting to touch him when I see him or hug kiss. I smoke but he doesn't so I make sure to brush teeth mouthwash gum perfume. I change my clothes right before he comes over and have a new jacket I wear that I don't smoke in. But I still smell like it a little bit he says. Im trying to look nice smell good for him again I really like this guy. I have mixed emotions about him not texting me. I hope he hadn't changed his mind on me. And it doesn't help that his ex wife knows about me and they have 3 girls together. She came to this past basketball game and every time I would look over she would be staring at me giving me dirty looks. I was there by myself and he was suppose to meet me there but had to work over and I thought he wasn't there because she was there. I need other ppls opinions and thoughts about this plz thanks you. TL;DR I really like this guy who showed interest in me and I am thinking he's regretting and trying to drift away now that he knows I want more.

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Take it slowly and keep going on dates, having some family time, etc. Don't worry about his ex, texting or being used. Those worries will kill things.

He's came over to my house on the days he wasn't working or busy, I be made dinner for him a few of the nights and he's ordered pizza a few times. My son had his friends over and he would bring his daughter along w/ my daughter and we all would hang out.
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IMO... YOU need to slow this all down a bit.

Sounds like a lot has happened.. and way fast.. for being only a few months.


YOU were just out of a LTR a few months, when you became involved with him. Do you think MAYBE you might be a bit insecure just because he hasn't texted you 'as often' as you'd like?

If you two came into this hot n heavy... then YES, It's bound to be slowing down eventually.

Doesn't always mean they aren't still interested.


Maybe.. just a little TOO much texting.. if it's continous thru the days.


YOu mentioned.. he likes to take things slowly?

" He said he goes slow in new relationship so he doesn't get hurt.


Then do that. Slow it all down.. Expectations and all.


And just because he's not texting all the time... it's okay.


In time, you will come to see if he's not all that into it anymore, if it goes on for days.. and he starts showing a cold shoulder.

And if he does, then YOU have to accept this. Either way, do NOT chase.. beg etc. Thats a turn off.


And another thing.... shouldnt have been getting your kids involved in this so soon. ( basically since december?).


Yeah.... slow it all down.

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Hello thanks for responding to my story. He still hasn't text me. Yesterday was the first day no talk no text between us. I deleted his number so I wouldn't get ahold of him lol. It's not cause I don't want him anymore because I really do. He's been in my mind alot. So in waiting to see if he really wants to continue w/ me. I want him to contact me first. And about the kids. My daughter and his daughter go to school together and on the same cheer team. My son goes to a different school and his buddy's he had over when pizza was ordered everyone knew everyone so that was fine and was a + to me thinking could have something nice. This man is what I've always wanted, he doesn't do drugs or rarely drinks (because he's an officer) he's a big guy and blue eyes. He's a big teddy bear when I hold him. . So time will tell

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I deleted his number because I knew if I had it I would get ahold of him and thinking in bothering him but would still continue. This way sense I did it, in seeing if he really wants to continue being us. I mean he's said we will have plans and do certain things when it warms up etc. Fishing camping he wanted me to help him be active so he can loose so weight.

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  • 2 weeks later...

He told me he wants to stay friends and see what it can lead to, either stronger feelings or not. Which is understandable cause we have both been hurt before. He said he wants to go places and or hang out. He still wants to talk to me via text and we still have sex. So I had stronger feelings in the beginning like him. Reason why things are slow us because his ex wife don't want us together. He said she will keep his youngest daughter away from him if we see each other. I know it's not fair and yes their are still ppl out there that's krazy jealous. She's the one who wanted the divorce 7 years ago but then still trying to control him, unless she has a boyfriend. She is also very ill (breast cancer) and it travels thru her body. Im just going to be there for him when he needs someone to talk to as a friend, and of course have sex lol we are very attracted to each other. I just know where I stand now and time will tell if we can be together or not or just remain friends.

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