Ex's Friends and Family on Social Media

[rosecolored108]

Just wanted to get some insight from people regarding this topic.

 

I know people handle these things differently, but I figured I would get some advice.

 

I had a rather messy break-up with my ex, and I feel like I am still healing from it.

 

I have nothing against his friends/family, but having them social media is a constant reminder...and I feel like it hurts me for some reason.

 

I have "unfollowed" them on facebook (so they would not see the "defriending")...but sometimes, I am still curious, and I look at their pages.

 

On instagram and snap chat, they would probably notice if I removed them...I don't want to seem like a jerk and like I am bitter, but these are people that are no longer in my life.

 

Sometimes, they "like" or comment on my photos...for some reason, it kind of bothers me. And sometimes, I have liked their photos, and I feel pathetic for some reason...strange.

 

And the whole situation with my ex was hurtful. I also don't want anything to be "reported" back to my. I want my private life to be my private life.

 

I am probably making far too big a deal out of this, and a lot of them probably would not care, either way, but...

 

What do most people do in these situations that seemed to work for them? I know social media is trivial, but I like using my accounts, and I don't want my going on them to inhibit my "recovery."

 

Thanks

[gebaird]

It sounds like being connected to them is a trigger for you. I'd recommend unfriending them. It may seem rude, but on some level they will understand. The relationship is over, and there are natural consequences when something like that happens.

[Wiseman2]

Go to your social media settings and restrict access. It's not unfriending or blocking but they can't see much and they won't be notified.

 

Slowly stop commenting and visiting, so it dies down. have "unfollowed" them on facebook (so they would not see the "defriending")...but sometimes, I am still curious, and I look at their pages.

Sometimes, they "like" or comment on my photos...for some reason, it kind of bothers me. And sometimes, I have liked their photos, and I feel pathetic for some reason...strange.

[rosecolored108]

The restricted thing would probably work for Facebook but not help for Instagram or Snapchat.

 

I agree about slowly stopping the comments, and my visits to their pages have been few and far between, which is showing a lot of progress, on my end.

 

I may end up just removing them completely...as GE said, it is kind of a trigger for me, and I don't really need that.

[lucidious]

If it's gonna inhibit your recovery as you say, you should unfriend them. What's the point anyway...it's over with you and the ex, so you won't be seeing them ever again. I think that would be best for you while you are in the healing process.

[Birdie]

Just delete them, they aren't a part of your life anymore. Most will understand, and those who get upset, well, who cares? You don't owe them anything.

[rosecolored108]

Thanks everyone. I think I should remove them, as you have said. It really isn't benefitting me, and I am not sure why I even care what they think anymore.

[surfdiva]

Thanks everyone. I think I should remove them, as you have said. It really isn't benefitting me, and I am not sure why I even care what they think anymore.

 

This is good! I get it though. I was *extremely* close with my ex's mom and sister. I did more fun things with them than I did with my ex and they considered me part of the family. Honestly, the most difficult thing was loosing them, not their son/brother. I did unfriend them but I reached out to the sister via text and explained why. She totally understood.

 

You did the right thing

[Wiseman2]

Adios, Auf Wiedersehen, Arrivederci, Au Revoir, Seeya, Bye.

I think I should remove them, as you have said. It really isn't benefitting me, and I am not sure why I even care what they think anymore.

[rosecolored108]

It is definitely hard since I knew them so well, but I need to move on now.