Qbos21 Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 I've been on and off with my kids father for almost four years I always thought maybe if I left him for a few weeks he would change or eventually come around to be a better man for me and his children but all he does is go back and forth between me and which ever girl is convenient I'm tired of waiting for him to get it together but I love him Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 Why do you love him? Is it just habit at this point? Maybe you should get some individual counselling or therapy to help you get your thoughts in order. I know he's the father of your children and you'll always love him for giving you them but that isn't enough to put up with being cheated on or left for other women. You deserve more and so do your children. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 Don't you think it's time you loved yourself. Why are you with someone who needs to change. This is who he is. And, why do you subject your children to this toxic mess??? How many times does he have to disappoint and cheat on you for you to dump him??? Link to comment
Qbos21 Posted December 21, 2016 Author Share Posted December 21, 2016 Don't you think it's time you loved yourself. Why are you with someone who needs to change. This is who he is. And, why do you subject your children to this toxic mess??? How many times does he have to disappoint and cheat on you for you to dump him??? How will I move on if I'm always wishing or thinking there is still hope Link to comment
Qbos21 Posted December 21, 2016 Author Share Posted December 21, 2016 Why do you love him? Is it just habit at this point? Maybe you should get some individual counselling or therapy to help you get your thoughts in order. I know he's the father of your children and you'll always love him for giving you them but that isn't enough to put up with being cheated on or left for other women. You deserve more and so do your children. Yes I've thought about some individual counseling and I will check in too that most definitely and it just may be a habit at this point because of how many years we've been together it's always the same routine I told my self maybe I was just holding on because this is what I was use too Link to comment
Hollyj Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 Because he has shown you repeatedly that this is who he is. Why are you not accepting it? How many more years are you going to do this to your kids and yourself? He will not change. He has clearly shown you that he does not value or respect you. Link to comment
j.man Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 What exactly do you want him to change? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 Unfortunately, if it's on/off you've both left each other before and it hasn't helped. You can't change him or his behavior or his other women. However, you can make sure you are getting adequate child support for your kids and that custody/visitation schedules work for both of you and particularly the kids. Try to make any contact about the children, not reconciling or fixing him. As far as your love life goes, you already know this isn't working and he has a gf, so it may be best to move on and start dating other men when you feel ready.I've been on and off with my kids father for almost four years I always thought maybe if I left him for a few weeks he would change or eventually come around to be a better man for me and his children but all he does is go back and forth between me and which ever girl is convenient. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 What do you love about this guy? It sounds like he treats you and the kids with complete disregard. Link to comment
Qbos21 Posted December 21, 2016 Author Share Posted December 21, 2016 What exactly do you want him to change? He changes like the weather his words are the exact opposite from his actions he has cheated on me over and over sometimes with the same girl as before he has no self control over his anger and is very disrespectful how ever there are times when he can be this sweet guy but 70% for the most part we don't see eye to eye and when I do leave him he cries and tells this sorry story about how much he misses his family and not just his kids but me too but he never can seem to get it together Link to comment
Hollyj Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 So, 30% of the time he is decent and this is what you hold onto? You need to wake up! Do you realize how harmful this revolving door is to your children? I cannot fathom why you and this woman put up with this crap! Does this idiot pay support? Link to comment
Qbos21 Posted December 21, 2016 Author Share Posted December 21, 2016 So, 30% of the time he is decent and this is what you hold onto? You need to wake up! Do you realize how harmful this revolving door is to your children? I cannot fathom why you and this woman put up with this crap! Does this idiot pay support? He just started paying support and a part of me holds on because there was a time he treated me and his kids both like we were his everything I don't know what changed him or had this always been him he's just now showing who he really is and what's worst is his family thinks that I'm the problem after they watched him take me through hell and stand by him they told him I wasn't from the beginning but I promise I've done nothing but try to bring out the better in him and forgot to love myself and seems like it's all back fired on me Link to comment
Hollyj Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 Is this court ordered? You need to pull yourself into the future. Listen, this guy treats you and the kids terribly. You need to pull yourself out of denial. He has a girlfriend! If you are not going to look after yourself, then focus on the kids well-being. The back and forth is hurting them. Who cares what his family thinks. I don't understand why people do this to themselves. How many times does this guy need to disrespect you! Link to comment
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