Not sure if she's interested...Next steps?

[innuendo]

Hi everyone.

 

So I have a bit of a dilemma. Met a woman at a group activity and seemed to hit it off well. Chatted for hours. Ran into her again and got her number and set up a quick get-together. Not really sure if I would call it a date, but we chatted for almost 2 hours over some coffee. (I didn't want to make it too long, so I said I should prob get going at about the 2 hour mark.)

 

Walked for a couple minutes and told her it would be fun to do something again some other time. She replied to let her know if I was doing any other group activities with the group we had originally met in (red flag?). I was just planning on doing a quick wave goodbye but she went in for the hug.

 

Texted her a couple days later and ended up going back and forth with something ridiculous/funny for a few days. She was always very quick to respond (usually minutes) and kept the convo going with questions. But after the last question, I never got a reply.

 

It's been 4 days at this point and I'm not sure what my next move should be since the radio silence is weird to me. Just wait for her to reply (I've got a feeling that won't happen). Send another text and be that creepy guy who won't leave her alone. Forget about the whole thing and move on.

 

Am I missing something here? Is her silence basically telling me to leave her alone? Don't want to make anything awkward here. Thanks everyone!

[Edmund Exley]

Send her a message. If she doesnt reply you'll have your answer.

[Wiseman2]

Excellent so far. Now in order not to take a wrong turn into the friendzone, stop the jokes n' stuff texting and Ask her out again.

 

She may think you're not interested or just jerking her around with all the texting but not suggesting another date. Ask her out!

Not really sure if I would call it a date, but we chatted for almost 2 hours over some coffee.

Texted her a couple days later and ended up going back and forth with something ridiculous/funny for a few days.It's been 4 days at this point and I'm not sure what my next move should be since the radio silence is weird to me.

[DancingFool]

There is only one way to know - ask her for a date. Either you'll get an enthusiastic YES! or a "gee gosh I'll be ...ugh....washing my hair that night....and every night you ever want to go out" and then you'll know that you need to move on because she is not interested.

 

Don't sit in limbo trying to divine out what someone else is thinking. It's a total waste of time. Be clear, ask for what you want in a straightforward manner and go on about your life. Either you'll gain a date or you'll be free to seek elsewhere. It's a win/win. Sitting in limbo, stuck and wondering is a miserable existence.

[SherrySher]

Hmmm..yes it's not a great sign that she suggested something with the group again. And now she is texting but it almost sounds like she's being polite in a friend way.

I am not her and I am not pretending to be in her head, but I am a woman and so this is my impression of what's going on.

I think you've been straight forward enough, but if you really feel the need, you can ask for a date one last time and see how she responds.

Women are not dumb though, she answered to do something with the group for a reason, and she has not brought up a one on one date or has spoken to you in more than a friend manner. You should take note of that.

Of course you can just go ahead and ask one last time if you feel you want to know once and for all.

[innuendo]

The abrupt end to the somewhat lively back-and-forth dialogue is the part that I'm confused about. I can see the writing on the wall when replying takes forever, or the answers are short and not inviting a response. This wasn't like that at all.

 

But I guess i'm considering waiting a week, sending a happy holidays message and then dropping it and not initiating anything else if there is no obvious interest on her end. I normally would just flat out ask her out again but we are in the same activities group which would make things way too awkward if she said no. Last thing I want is for her to not feel comfortable showing up because I would be there.

[SherrySher]

She sounds as though she is a friendly person and didn't mind having a chat or texting but she's not giving any indications that she wants to take it any further. When you asked about meeting up again and she mentioned the group, that was an obvious answer.

But yes, the abrupt end to the texts sounds like she didn't mind being a friend or texting but is not interested in more. If someone is interested there would be some kind of signs of wanting to take it further, but so far she's been friendly and nothing more.

[force]

You should have just asked her for a date. Ask her when she's free to get together for your next text.

[innuendo]

Update time.

 

She never initiated anything since my last post so I just bit the bullet and sent her a text asking her about some advice on something (that I knew she would know about). Ended up going back and forth for 2 hours with about 150 texts on things that had nothing to do with my question. Funny and light-hearted conversation. She texted me a picture of herself doing an activity we had mentioned and said she would have to show me a funny video she had taken of herself at some point. She then mentioned that she hadn't seen any group activities coming up but that "hopefully they would do something soon".

 

Still confused about the non-initiation on her part and not sure if she's just being friendly.

[missmarple]

Just ask her out. Endless texting will get you nowhere.

[Wiseman2]

She's the one who should be confused. Probably asking her friends...."He's texting but not asking me on dates "...and do you know what her friends are telling her?..."Maybe he's just not into you, move on"

Still confused about the non-initiation on her part and not sure if she's just being friendly.

[FlashEng1]

innuendo (fitting name by the way)... you haven't done anything my man. There's nothing in your story that stands out to show romantic interest, or interest in general for that matter. It would be completely understandable if you were to ask her out and she were to be the one confused that you liked her, because honestly you have yet to make something like that "known."

 

Assuming you're full grown adults (21+ ??), there is NEVER anything wrong with letting the opposite sex know (and I mean FLAT OUT): "I want to get to know you more Crystal. [insert Invite]." A... B... Done. A: Start right off the bat with you making your stand and announcing your interest. B: Take action beyond that by setting up an actual "Part 2" *BECAUSE* of A.... That's confidence.

 

You will not make anything awkward or uncomfortable flat out telling a woman "You know... I'd like to get to know you more, would you like to get drinks this Friday afternoon?" Unless the person is absolutely horrible at socializing, they get the picture. They'll follow up with either a rejection, a rejection with a backup, or an acceptance. THEN you can worry about "next steps" .. but until then... you're still all in your head and haven't even taken a single step.

[innuendo]

You really think so? I feel like at this point it should be fairly obvious to her that I'm interested...

[Wiseman2]

Ask her on dates. Texting is the lazy man's "dating".

You really think so? I feel like at this point it should be fairly obvious to her that I'm interested...

[FlashEng1]

You really think so? I feel like at this point it should be fairly obvious to her that I'm interested...

 

Nope. I've done much farther with certain women only to find out they were simply very outgoing and not interested at all. My lesson learned? Never allow your mind to invest into something. Make it 100% known and communicated. Rejection has always been better than living the fantasy world of what if and daydreaming, only to be hit with reality. It sucks at the time of rejection, but afterwards, life's easier.

 

As well, until you actually pull the trigger, you just may be right.. But there's women out there who love the attention just as much, and as long as things are kept innocent or "cryptic," they tend to ride that attention train as long as you're offering free rides.