90 Days No Contact Log

[Kissa]

Well I'm coming up on the big 90 and I whenever I think of my ex now it's really ' what the hell was I thinking' I forwent all my standards thinking and he was disgusting and had nothing to offer...

so for those who are in pain ... I know it hurts but it ended for a reason and a very good one... may not seem like that now but it does ... I'm still single but rather now than then...

 

Well done!!! I'm on my 16th day today and hope will be like you at 90. Time heals and this is like an addiction, you just need to stay strong and go over it. They're saying it takes 27-30 days to heal from an addiction and see things clear ( so let's see what happens for me)

 

You're my hero so far ☺️😄👏🏻🙌🏻

[Kissa]

Tried to be strong. I was fine for the past one week now I'm crying over the loss of her again. I really just miss the connection we once had and this overwhelming feeling of loneliness is killing me now

 

What day of NC are you on?

That's what hurts, that we putted them on a pedestal and we went down to the "doormat" stage. Just thing how much satisfaction you'll give her by messaging, her confidence will go high as hell and you're gonna be seen as the doormat. I totally understand you as I'm in the same place, but let's keep going with NC, let's heal.

[CrossX96]

What day of NC are you on?

That's what hurts, that we putted them on a pedestal and we went down to the "doormat" stage. Just thing how much satisfaction you'll give her by messaging, her confidence will go high as hell and you're gonna be seen as the doormat. I totally understand you as I'm in the same place, but let's keep going with NC, let's heal.

 

32 days of NC. Although I must admit I did snoop around her new boyfriend's instagram. But I'm trying to make that as less frequent as possible. Just that sometimes the sadness and disappointment from her empty promises and betrayal is overwhelming.

[FooledAgain]

. . . "Know what you want and NEVER EVER settle for less"

I like this tip. I enjoy following your posts because I see in your avatar that you are freaking gorgeous and if YOU can get dumped then it can happen to any of us. I am following up on your idea but I am doing one thing wrong?/different?: On the advice of some good friends I wrote her one last time. I told her I have heard her say she misses me and she wants me back and its not working with dip yada yada. Then I went on to say if she really wanted to be here with me she would be back here in 3 days with her bags in her hands and an apology on her lips. It doesn't take any longer than that if she really means all the BS she tells me.

 

I don't expect to see her on my doorstep in 3 days but by drawing the line in the sand its like setting a goal as to when to start the No Contact once again. Not here in 3 days means blocked on messenger and her phone name gets replaced by "Don't Settle for her Crap" and I'll even use an avatar of a pile of crap to remind me not to read, answer or reply. I DO deserve better and there are already so many who recognize my good nature and loving heart. I just need to plug the leaks in my heart so I can get back to NO CONTACT and healing up.

 

I just wanted you to know your posts are inspirational to me and I am sure many others.

[Kissa]

I like this tip. I enjoy following your posts because I see in your avatar that you are freaking gorgeous and if YOU can get dumped then it can happen to any of us. I am following up on your idea but I am doing one thing wrong?/different?: On the advice of some good friends I wrote her one last time. I told her I have heard her say she misses me and she wants me back and its not working with dip yada yada. Then I went on to say if she really wanted to be here with me she would be back here in 3 days with her bags in her hands and an apology on her lips. It doesn't take any longer than that if she really means all the BS she tells me.

Let's see then what will happen in this 3 days 🙂 I really hope that it's gonna be sorted in the best way for you , if she comes then don't accept to be taken for granted ( NEVER settle for less) and try this time to work on this relationship and make it amazing.

If she doesn't - is her loss , you will need to find and go out on a date my friend . I know is not easy as you don't feel like ( I'm in the same boat). When I'm out always have guys starring at me , some of them even asking my number, but I'm not ready yet, I'm giving myself a couple more weeks to heal, but I think you're ready.Remeber, we've got one life only, there is no time to waste 🙌🏻

 

Keep me updated .

[CrossX96]

Does anyone have tips for how to stop thoughts of her and the guy she replaced me with doing the stuff we used to do together? Like movies sex etc

[Kissa]

32 days of NC. Although I must admit I did snoop around her new boyfriend's instagram. But I'm trying to make that as less frequent as possible. Just that sometimes the sadness and disappointment from her empty promises and betrayal is overwhelming.

32 is a great result, well done!!!

You know why you feel so empty, cos you hopped that in all this time she'll contact you, but cos she didn't it hurts, hurts to realise you're nothing to a person that was saying she loves you and you saw a future together ( same with me here).

But thinking other way , do you really wanna be with someone who doesn't care or you wanna come home to a women that waits and is happy to see you, that loves you unconditionally and is ready for everything so you guys can be together?

 

If looking at the big picture of your future, do you really want her?

[FooledAgain]

Let's see then what will happen in this 3 days 🙂 I really hope that it's gonna be sorted in the best way for you , if she comes then don't accept to be taken for granted ( NEVER settle for less) and try this time to work on this relationship and make it amazing.

If she doesn't - is her loss , you will need to find and go out on a date my friend . I know is not easy as you don't feel like ( I'm in the same boat). When I'm out always have guys starring at me , some of them even asking my number, but I'm not ready yet, I'm giving myself a couple more weeks to heal, but I think you're ready.Remeber, we've got one life only, there is no time to waste 🙌🏻

 

Keep me updated .

 

Your words are uplifting and encouraging. Let me share more thoughts on this. As my "3 day deadline" draws closer and there is only silence from her, I realize she is not going to show. I am a man of my word so I will wait the full time but I have already made plans to date a very interesting lady the day after my deadline passes. You mention "I think you're ready" and I can honestly say I am not. All I want in the world is for my Yvonne to come back but do you remember the old song "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with" and then there is a saying "Fake it until you make it". So I am using these tactics to date a "nice girl" next week. If you asked me to be honest I cannot imagine her or anyone being "the one" to replace my lost love but if I can smile and joke and give HER pleasure then I shall find some happiness in that. I have been honest about where I am in my breakup so she should not expect any long term commitments. Of course she will. She likes me and wants to be me rebound. I have walls up about that. It will take a long time to give my heart.

 

My point is that you could do that too. If someone fun asked you out on a date and you could make him happy by simply smiling at him and letting him buy you dinner then why not do it. Fake it 'till you make it. If you can't make yourself happy then give a little happiness to someone else. He may not be the one to get you to the point of seeing fireworks but would it help you to make someone happy. Just be careful not to pick a a'hole. But put yourself out there. Give someone a smile and make their day. Let someone buy you a rose and watch their eyes smile. Think of how happy you can be giving a small amount of pleasure to someone else. And as far as guys asking your number, give them your father's number and see what happens when they call.

 

So on the subject of No Contact I am at -2 days. I am going to be firm. I swear it. If she is not here in 2 days then it was all lies, same as the last year was all lies, and she does not want me back, she only wants a shoulder to cry on when having a bad day. Thats not gonna be me. 2 days from now, folks. Block messenger, block Facebook (gotta figure out how but I will) and change her id on my Phone to "More Bullchit Calling" and do not answer. And I am unanimous in that! (you have to know old British TV shows to get that reference)

[Kissa]

FooledAgain,

I'm glad u planned a date, but obviously that person if likes you, hopes for something more, please don't do to other person what your ex done to you , don't hurt her even if she's saying she's ok to be a rebound ( you know the truth).

 

And "your" Yvonne is not yours anymore my friend and as mush as it hurts you need to accept that. Even if she comes back, she's a different person now, she know she's your weak point and she has the power over you.

Sorry if I've been a little harsh, but in a way wanna open your eyes ( I hope I am wrong)

[FooledAgain]

FooledAgain,

I'm glad u planned a date, but obviously that person if likes you, hopes for something more, please don't do to other person what your ex done to you , don't hurt her even if she's saying she's ok to be a rebound ( you know the truth).

 

And "your" Yvonne is not yours anymore my friend and as mush as it hurts you need to accept that. Even if she comes back, she's a different person now, she know she's your weak point and she has the power over you.

Sorry if I've been a little harsh, but in a way wanna open your eyes ( I hope I am wrong)

 

You are so darn correct. So darn smart. You are not wrong. This is now Day 0 of no contact. Yvonne messaged me that she is staying with Kevin and I need to move on. I messaged her that I have no interest is seeing her or hearing from her again so blocked on Facebook etc and No contact starts now. I have been played by a lying beatch just like everyone else on this site. My story is no different. Yes, you opened my eyes. Yes I needed to hear it. Yes it is harsh, but true.

 

So the date I planned has been told all of this. She knows she is the 'rebound' and she says she is OK with it. You say I know the truth but I don't any more. I don't know if rebounds can work as real relationships. I don't know enough about her to know where it will go. I don't want to hurt anyone but I do enjoy her company and she does like to do the "comforting" thing. And it feels good to be comforted.

 

What should I do, Kissa? She, (Lynn the new date), is coming over tomorrow, or the next day (she lives a bit far from here) and will stay for a few days. Maybe longer. Right now it makes me feel good to make her smile and make her feel loved. I personally don't feel anything but hurt. But I am thinking I can try. I can "fake it until we make it" because I can tell you right now the good lady coming over is twice the woman Yvonne was. Why? Because Yvonne was beautiful of body and thought she was "all that" so she could wrap guys around her little finger. The new lady, Lynn, is beautiful of spirit and she does not think guys like the way she looks. I can tell you she is wrong about that. She may not win Miss Universe but she would be very attractive to a lot of guys who are not addicted to arm candy.

 

So when you say "don't hurt her" what exactly can I do to guard against hurting her?

 

EDIT does it count as NO CONTACT if the ex sends me a text message on the phone but I do not look at it to read it or reply?

[Kissa]

FooldAgain,

 

I'll say to spend those days with Lynn ( would be much better then to stay alone home). Maybe Lynn will be fun, or if she's not, you try to find some fun stuff to do , remeber don't look for magic, you are the magic, find it inside yourself. You are lucky you'll have Lynn, some people are alone in this situations. If you have time plan something , like a mini road trip or I don't know, something fun and take lots of selfies, pictures, create new memories. Lynn will be not "the one" for life, but she'll be the one to help.

 

Take care and forget that b*tch ... sorry 😄

[FooledAgain]

FooldAgain,

 

I'll say to spend those days with Lynn ( would be much better then to stay alone home). Maybe Lynn will be fun, or if she's not, you try to find some fun stuff to do , remeber don't look for magic, you are the magic, find it inside yourself. You are lucky you'll have Lynn, some people are alone in this situations. If you have time plan something , like a mini road trip or I don't know, something fun and take lots of selfies, pictures, create new memories. Lynn will be not "the one" for life, but she'll be the one to help.

 

Take care and forget that b*tch ... sorry 😄

 

All good advice. I will do my best to follow it. Any chance you could add my to your friend's list Kissa? I don't know how to add you but I feel you have great personal insight that I would like to know more about.

[Kissa]

All good advice. I will do my best to follow it. Any chance you could add my to your friend's list Kissa? I don't know how to add you but I feel you have great personal insight that I would like to know more about.

I think I did, at least I tried, I'm new here so no clue 😄

[Andrew626]

She went back to the other guy...it's Facebook official. Wow.

[Andrew626]

I've never been more lied to and hurt by one person in my entire life. What a lying s l u t . I texted her to never talk to me again and called her a b I t c h

[Kissa]

My ex just messaged me now, if I would fancy a coffee , so confused right now

[lovelyworld]

She went back to the other guy...it's Facebook official. Wow.

 

She'll probably end up doing the same to the other guy. I'm sorry you're hurt again...I also fear when my ex will make it Facebook official. But now you know for sure...

[lovelyworld]

My ex just messaged me now, if I would fancy a coffee , so confused right now

 

It's funny how we wait for them to contact us, then the moment they do...we don't know what to do lol. How long since you guys last talked?

 

Go with your gut feeling.

[membername]

I've never been more lied to and hurt by one person in my entire life. What a lying s l u t . I texted her to never talk to me again and called her a b I t c h

 

I know in the heat of the moment you're hurt and act rash.. but you should not have texted her that... the mature thing would have been to let her be.. just cause someone acts a certain way doesn't mean you do..

 

Jus sayin...

 

But you need to push her out of your mind and move forward. Don't look back at her.. you'll never see ahead of you do..

[Andrew626]

I know in the heat of the moment you're hurt and act rash.. but you should not have texted her that... the mature thing would have been to let her be.. just cause someone acts a certain way doesn't mean you do..

 

Jus sayin...

 

But you need to push her out of your mind and move forward. Don't look back at her.. you'll never see ahead of you do..

I don't think it matters what I said. It doesn't matter because never again in my life am I ever talking to her again. I hate her.

[Kissa]

It's funny how we wait for them to contact us, then the moment they do...we don't know what to do lol. How long since you guys last talked?

 

Go with your gut feeling.

 

Didn't talk 17 days. Last time we saw each other he said he doesn't see me as his future anymore, so I told him if that's the case then to leave me alone cos I wanna move on. He said to help him see me as a future again and to fight for him and I said that not gonna fight for that kind of crap, I deserve to be the Universe for my partner, not to fight to be seen as a future.He chased me a few days asking if I didn't change my mind, and I said that no and never gonna settle for less than I deserve. Is a month since then, I broke NC sending him a "happy birthday " message 17 days ago. And today he messaged me on WhatsApp, coudn't see the entire message as didn't open it yet, just what popped on my scree, was saying if we can meet for a coffee.

[Kissa]

I don't think it matters what I said. It doesn't matter because never again in my life am I ever talking to her again. I hate her.

 

I'm really sorry and I know it hurts like hell now, but at least tou know for sure where you stand now.

Living with hope is a torture. This "what if" consumes you slowly.

 

Please take care lf you, we are here to support

[Andrew626]

I'm really sorry and I know it hurts like hell now, but at least tou know for sure where you stand now.

Living with hope is a torture. This "what if" consumes you slowly.

 

Please take care lf you, we are here to support

Thanks. I just feel like I was stupid to not see this coming. I'll just be alone forever I feel like

[Kissa]

Thanks. I just feel like I was stupid to not see this coming. I'll just be alone forever I feel like

Nope you're not gonna be alone forever and you know well. This is just the beginning of everything amazing that's coming in your life. Getting read of that b*tch ( how you called her 😄 , you're making space for the person that's gonna make you happy

[Andrew626]

Nope you're not gonna be alone forever and you know well. This is just the beginning of everything amazing that's coming in your life. Getting read of that b*tch ( how you called her 😄 , you're making space for the person that's gonna make you happy

Yeah, plus I don't have much time for a relationship I'm trying to build up my business. And yes she's a b*tch. She promised she wouldn't go back to him because he treated her bad. But she deserves to be treated badly. She is a lying, cheating, sl*t.