Have you ever...

[WhiteIcE]

...figured yourself out? I have been looking at the people around me, the situations of people around me, and the person I am today, and everything seems to be the same.

 

Everyone wants security, a good job for the future, love, and a steady life. These things are all good to have, they are amazing. But the thing that bothers me is myself. I know many people who know who they are, and because of this, they know what they are capable of, and they really trust themselves, and this gives them incredible confidence. They know that as long as they wake up with themself, they can do anything, and need no one.

 

I want to become like this. Before I ever fully commit to another person, for one, I want to become my full being. If any of you are confused by what I mean by this (i.e the explaination above isn't good), just let me know and I'll make a repost. I just want self enlightenment. I don't know if what I am doing is wrong, I mean I am only 17...

 

I just see many of my friends doing things to themselves (i.e clothing, or likes for things) based on what other people like, which makes me feel that they are fakes....And I think they are.

 

I just want to wake up and be happy with who I am, and only need myself before I allow a significant other into my life. How can I do this? Suggestions, thoughts, or experiences would be amazing. Any contribution will help me, thank you so much for reading.

[Caldus]

Yeah I feel like I don't know myself sometimes. Have you ever considered keeping a journal of some kind? Doesn't have to be the typical kind of journal. Maybe just take out a sheet of paper at the end of every day and write down what you've been thinking about all day. Try to find people you are truly comfortable with. That will help you find yourself. Maybe not the best advice so someone else should post as well.

[WhiteIcE]

Funny you say journal, I was thinking the exact same thing. I think I will organize a file on my ZIP drive and write a journal everyday.

 

I think maybe I should be acting nice to everyone around me, and swearing alot less, so maybe I can receive more positive energy than I am getting now (I am getting alot now too), and I can feel a little better about myself.

[Caldus]

That's always a good start. Do what you want to do. Do whatever "completes" you, you know? I feel more complete every time I face my fears and conquer them.

[Sn0man]

I don't think anyone truly knows themselves. People change constantly; through life experiences, such as work, friendships, school, family and crises. Being so, I think it is truly impossible to know exactly who you are at any given moment. I think we all have a good idea about who we are and who we would like to be, but I doubt anyone truly knows themself, just as we never truly know someone else. Just my opinion.

[BillyJean714]

Hey, try not to worry about finding yourself completely for now, k? I think that 'knowing yourself' or 'finding yourself' comes with hardships. Some people know themselves at a very young age, due to lots of circumstances, such as family struggles, problems, etc. I guess in some ways, they're lucky to have an established identity. But, there's a tradeoff. The key thing is they had to struggle and go through hardships in order to find themselves. For those who haven't had much hardships in their lives, they develop their own self-image differently.

 

I'll tell you what. Since you're only 17, save up enough money so that by the time you graduate high school, you can travel the world. By doing so, you'll discover more of yourself. Sometimes, we just need to be taken out of our protective bubbles in order to find out who we are. Instead of vacationing somewhere where it's tropical, go out and visit places where people don't have it made. Maybe you can join the Red Cross, go out there and see how hard people have it. In that sense, when you feel other people's pains and hardships, you learn more about yourself. You'll be able to empahtize with others more. By then, you'll appreciate the things in life more. It's kinda spiritual actually. You'll gain more of a sense of who you are. It's a devotion that you feel that's enlightening. The feeling that you get when you can empathize with others, is worth more than what money can ever buy.

 

A part of the reason why I see some people, not all, who have a hard time finding themselves is because of the lifestyle that this society portrays. Far too often, when people have it made and haven't struggled enough, they tend to take the little things in life for granted. They go out and burn their cash on meaningless things, materialistic things. And thereforeeee, they lose the true meaning of what life is supposed to be. It's as if they have this distorted image of reality, and thus, they find happiness in materialistic crap that doesn't even matter. The live a life of disillusionment. Thereofre, they don't know who they are.

 

Enough of my babbling. If you don't have the time to work and save up money, then I suggest that you do good deeds for others. For instance, maybe there's a poor town near your community. Maybe you can go out there, and help people out there. If you see a bum, and he's not asking for cash, offer to help him. Smile.

 

When you do good deeds for others, you automatically feel self-fulfilled. It feels good when you can give, because when you give to others, you actually gain a lot in return: you gain self-gratification. That feeling will lead you to feel inspired, and personally fulfilled. How's that for a start?

[mavrick]

*grin* -- I feel the damn same as you do.

People around me (my fds) are changing, and worrying more about clothes (although never used to do it).

 

I think this is just a teenage feeling when we feel and see our past and see our elders etc..

[jabean]

I know who I am. But in that I know that I will constantly be growing and changing, for that is the beauty of life. If you are really interested on a path of self discovery, start by spending time every day just listening to yourself...your thoughts, your wants, your beliefs (almost as if you were an outside observer). This will give you a start on recognizing who you are.

 

There are also a lot of great books out there that can help with this. But do that when you are ready. Browse through a book store and see what pops out at you as interesting. Read it, apply it and see if it fits.

 

I agree witht he other poster that sometime we learn about ourselves through hardships, but that doesn't have to be the only time. Age doesn't mean a thing, and neither do life experiences. If you have the desire to learn about you, then start now. I did when I was about your age too. And I'm still learning every day.

[Alabama]

I'm doing that myself now. I've learned to do this by thinking about who I want to become. I want to become someone strong, mentally and physically. So I exercise everyday, use good time management, and make sure I at least accomplish something. I know my weaknesses and try my best to stick with my strenghts. I try to conform though when given a task. It's taken me several months to become who I am and I'm proud of it. I am a kind, quite, mature, responsible and fun inidividual. Anyone can become who they want to be, if they trust try. You can too. Good luck!

[ShySoul]

I think that most people go through life never bothering to really know who they are. Many even spend there time running away from the question. But if we truly want to be happy and feel good about life, we need to answer, "Who are you?"

 

Personally, being shy, quiet, and introspective had an easier time figuring that out then most since I have always been one to look inward. The one piece of advice I can give is that if you really want to know yourself, you need to block out what everyone else says and outside distractions. The answers don't come from without, they come from within. Even block out the advice your getting here, as good intentioned as they are. Others people experiences won't be your own. None of us are you, only you can answer this question. Look at who you are, what makes you happy, sad, etc. What is it that you want from life? Who are you? What do you want? Why are you here? Where are you going? If you can answer these questions based of your own intuition and what your heart and soul is telling you, then you know yourself.

[WhiteIcE]

I think I have my plan mapped out now. I must devote myself to positive change, for myself, so I can make peace with myself. I want to be able to walk by myself anywhere I want, to look, and enjoy the beauty of life, and I will obtain that goal!

 

I am going to dedicated myself to be the most un-ignorant person I can be. I always laugh with my friends at other people's misfortunes, at their looks, at what they cant do, but who is the bad guy? It's me, and this is one thing that will stop. I will defend those in prey, whether they know they have my defence or not.

 

I will treat everything I can with as much respect as I want given to myself. I will not be negative, and I will convert the negativity around me into positivity by any means necessary.

 

From now on, I will obey my commitments with all my willpower. I will keep a daily journal of my events and feelings, I will become complete.