day 8

[just jeff]

The beginning of day 8.

 

NC day 8: deleted her numbers from my phones. I still have them locked away in my computer at the office; I made them a pain to retrieve though.

 

I admit this isn't getting any easier…the first few days seemed easy. I think because I had convinced myself she would call…after she collected her thoughts.

 

Odd that I can go out and date…keep my mind occupied; then totally out of no where she pops into my mind.

 

Being with others really hasn't helped…I bought a new puppy….chocolate Labrador…and he is a great companion…and needs lots of attention. We go for long walks…but of course she is on my mind…what's she doing, who she's with…I know it's none of my business….

 

I hope all the people here that have offered advice are correct…that it does get easier; and life does go on…to someone maybe even more rewarding. I can tell you this; if you are in love with someone…never take them for granted…never put off being with them because of your career. While it may seem nice to climb the ladder and make the big money…you might just end up like me…looking around and wondering why your alone.

 

Time waits for no one…live life too the fullest. Later down life's path….may your journey be blessed and rewarding….

[arwen]

Hey jeff,

 

A labrador puppy... *melts*

 

I think your making a great progress by having deleted her phone number. It's one of the hardest things.

 

You can't expect that someone that you loved so deeply, will 'refrain' from popping back in your thoughts. It's part of your mind handling the whole break up. The more you want to force yourself into not thinking about her, I think the more she will be dancing around in your thoughts.

 

Things like this take a natural course, I believe. Once you stop fighting these thoughts and just see them of part of what you are dealing with, there will be this day that you surprise yourself at the moment you are closing your eyes to go to sleep. You will realize that a day went by, and you didn't think of her.

 

Love cannot be erased. That would be denying it ever existed.

 

Ilse.

[Jennifern]

I'm new here.. but I wanted to say sounds like you are taking steps in the right direction... I'm 3 months into the end of 3 year marriage, and it hasn't gotten easier yet... I know deep down one day I will find some one who I will love and cherish forever, and who will do the same for me.

We just must learn from our mistakes and use those mistakes to better our lives.

[just jeff]

Thank you both for the encouragement....harder than I thought...each day is getting harder...I want to call or text message her....just for that contact...but then again I doubt she would respond..lol what a life

[cloe]

Kudos for being strong. I've broken down and called my ex 2 times now. And I've never done that before. Ever. Struggling with whether that means that I loved him that much or if it's because I feel more responsible for this break up than the other 2 long term boyfriends I had or if it's just that I'm older and it's more difficult to adjust. Overanalyzing is my new full time job.

 

Anyhow, keep it up and you should be proud of yourself that you have come this far in such a short period of time. Just don't beat yourself up if and when you break down and have bad days. I did very well the first week, had 1 bad day the second week and this the third week, I've had about 4 bad days. Yesterday being one. Just keep your chin up and forgive yourself for feeling weak or pain. It's OK to; if you avoid it, it may not "hurt" as much but I think you will feel uncomfortable - not ready to move on - for longer.

 

Take care

[just jeff]

Cloe,

 

Thank you for the encouragement….it's day 9 now...not easier…not tougher. Maybe I am beginning to accept that I will never see or hear from her again.

 

For the first time…about 3 days ago I really sense she meant it this time…always before it was said out of hurt or anger…or me pushing to hard. I can't get past the thought she left me with though…."my feelings for you are gone".

 

Just like that….good luck in your endeavors, I wish you nothing but the best, be strong and may your journey be filled with sunshine…

[cloe]

Thanks and just be prepared in case she does contact you. Be ready for the rush of emotions and be cautious. Intentions get so muddled by emotion.

 

Take care.