Anger stage- he's fine without me

[Butterflyxx]

My sister was in town earlier and she told me she saw my ex and he smiled and waved at her.

I'm firstly annoyed that she told me this. After countless conversations with her telling her I do NOT want to hear about him, she still told me.

 

Why wave?!? I find it cheeky that after he used me, and treated me like he has the audacity to do that. I know,knowing him, that he'd have done that to show my sister 'I'm ok without her'.

 

Anyway, this has angered me.

I feel like such a fool for spending the last 2 years of my life, putting him before myself.

I spent 2 years miserable, isolated and insecure. I wasted 2 years of my life with a man who just used me, manipulated, controlled and lied to me.

AND ONCE AGAIN HES JUST FINE WITHOUT ME!

 

I'm full of anger at myself and him. How could I have been so stupid to think so low of myself to put him first?!?

Why does he always get the upper hand over me?!

I now know however I'm free. For once in 2 years I'm free to be happy. To relax. To go out. To spend time with my family and friends.

I don't have to dread waking up in the morning anymore.

 

I am angry right now, but I know I'll calm down. I'm glad I'm angry because I know I was such an idiot that I kept going back to him.

I'm going to carry on without him. Putting myself FIRST for once. Thinking about myself before him, before I make a decision it will be about ME, not HIM!

 

What also annoys me is that whenever we'd meet (once a week), he'd just use me for sex, hence why we'd only meet from 7-11pm and we only met when it was appropriate for him. When it fit HIS schedule.

We'd never go out anywhere, never on dates etc. And he's able to go out ALL the time with his mates to restaurants, pubs & concerts.

Ughhh. How I put up with so much.

I feel so stupid!

[greta96]

Anger is just one of the stages of the healing process, so the fact that you are experiencing it is very healthy and normal! It may not feel that way yet, but it's great that you are finally realizing that this 'relationship' was only making you miserable, that ending it was for the best and that you are so much better off without him. This will hopefully prevent you from giving in again, if he decides to "take you back". It's normal to look behind and want to kick yourself upside the head for giving chances to extremely undeserving people, I think most of us have those exes we would like to just erase from our pasts and pretend they never existed, because we can't comprehend how we could be so stupid to have ever given them the time of day, but since there is no way to go back in time, all we can all do is bury the past and focus on the present and future.

You are not the first and you won't be the last woman who's ever regretted the time wasted on a dip$hit, but the good news is that you are now making progress in healing, which means your life is about to get much better and happier. The worst is behind you now, all you have to do is forgive yourself and focus on getting yourself to a better place.

 

And by the way, the fact that he waved at your sister means absolutely nothing. He is fine because he was never invested in you, not because he got over you. There was nothing for him to get over. Ask your sister to refrain from mentioning him to you ever again, and make sure she gets it.

[milly007]

Think of it this way, and I know it's easier said than done, don't waste anymore time thinking about this guy. Don't invest anymore energy in him. You learned that the guy isn't for you and feel that you wasted your time with him. That said, why bother wasting more time thinking about him? It just isn't worth it. The best thing you can do is let it go, move on, and be happy. Appreciate that your life is better off without him and focus on the fact that you're now free to invest in a relationship with someone who makes you happy.

[Wiseman2]

Agree. You are very angry at your self but projecting it onto everyone else. Your sister did nothing unusual and he just waved at someone he knew. Not very odd at all.

[Butterflyxx]

Anger is just one of the stages of the healing process, so the fact that you are experiencing it is very healthy and normal! It may not feel that way yet, but it's great that you are finally realizing that this 'relationship' was only making you miserable, that ending it was for the best and that you are so much better off without him. This will hopefully prevent you from giving in again, if he decides to "take you back". It's normal to look behind and want to kick yourself upside the head for giving chances to extremely undeserving people, I think most of us have those exes we would like to just erase from our pasts and pretend they never existed, because we can't comprehend how we could be so stupid to have ever given them the time of day, but since there is no way to go back in time, all we can all do is bury the past and focus on the present and future.

You are not the first and you won't be the last woman who's ever regretted the time wasted on a dip$hit, but the good news is that you are now making progress in healing, which means your life is about to get much better and happier. The worst is behind you now, all you have to do is forgive yourself and focus on getting yourself to a better place.

 

And by the way, the fact that he waved at your sister means absolutely nothing. He is fine because he was never invested in you, not because he got over you. There was nothing for him to get over. Ask your sister to refrain from mentioning him to you ever again, and make sure she gets it.

 

Thank you! Reading this gave me a lot of hope for the future

[Ms Darcy]

Agree. You are very angry at your self but projecting it onto everyone else. Your sister did nothing unusual and he just waved at someone he knew. Not very odd at all.

 

Ding ding ding.

 

Word of the day: projection.