Any tips for long distance relationship?

[limichelle]

Hi,

 

I posted not too long ago a thread on ending the relationship due to doubts about my own insecurities of being right for him. He is country/western and big into horses and horse back riding. I'm an indoor watch movies and read kind of girl and not very active outside. So I was thinking in fairness of him finding someone more like him.

 

I talked to him last night about all my fears and concerns because we are very open with our communication. I learned that he doesn't care if we have separate interests and we can combine them sometimes. Where he will watch movies with me and I'll learn how to get used to being around his horse.

 

He is a terrific guy who I'm in love with and is in love with me.

 

This isn't a typical relationship!

 

One year ago he contacted me on a dating site from another state. We talked for nine months every single day on Skype. Finally meeting at the end of July making it official as boyfriend and girlfriend.

 

I realized when I wrote that post I was very anxious!

 

I was impatient wanting him to live closer.

 

Well the good news is we have a time line mapped out when we will see each other.

 

We have November he is coming here and then January and so on all lined up for at least the first year.

 

My parents and I are tight knit and so is he with his parents so we take their advice quite seriously.

 

They have told us to go slow, take each visit as it comes. Wait two years before getting engaged.

 

I can see myself relocating to where he is quite easily after two years.

 

 

I just feel lonely and if anybody is in a long distance relationship how do you survive the loneliness?

 

I will be volunteering at an animal shelter soon. I'm currently working out and losing weight. So I'm focused on that. I have a goal to go back to school next fall for a program. I'm currently not working.

 

He works and gets quite busy that some days we just talk for eight minutes.

 

He is worth the distance and worth waiting for.

 

Any tips?

 

Thank you all!

 

Lisa

[ThatwasThen]

How about you start with learning how to horse back ride? What better way to get to know and be confident in doing what is obviously very important to him. Skype and phone calls hopefully can stave off your missing him and your good friends and the hobbies that you currently have will keep you busy.

[limichelle]

How about you start with learning how to horse back ride? What better way to get to know and be confident in doing what is obviously very important to him. Skype and phone calls hopefully can stave off your missing him and your good friends and the hobbies that you currently have will keep you busy.

 

 

Thank you for the horseback riding tip. I will look into that. Thank you! ☺️

[zeino]

I'm in a LDR, too. We live in different countries. We communicate a lot on Whatssup and Skype so I don't need very lonely but if I'm going through a deep problem, trying to fall asleep may be quite difficult sometimes (I'm prone to insomnia when distressed). For this, there isn't much we can do but I try to tackle this loneliness on my own with kind self-care activities like warm milk, herbal tea, a bit of pampering before bed time like a long shower. A bit of goodnight talk always helps but I like focusing more on comfortable things than my exact problem. I have read that some couples fall asleep together using Skype, I don't think I could comfortably do that - I like my abe darkness.

 

Other than this I don't feel very alone when he is not with me but I'm an introvert who rarely feels alone that way. I sometimes feel bad because when he needs support I cannot be with him, either.

 

I think producing something for each other may help. Maybe you shoot a little film/video or write little notes for each other (other do whatever your creativity tells you to do) and these things are opened, read, watched by the other when s/he feels alone.

 

I like taking photographs. There was a game I played with a friend and I would like to play this with my boyfriend. He gives me a text, a theme or a subject and I take a photograph with that inspiration and we have created something together.

 

Maybe starting a blog (perhaps together) can also help.

 

And maybe you come home from the shelter with a little friend?