I am soooo sad...someone please help me if u can

[esboogie143]

You all already know my situation...now that i have given up and am not going to tolersate getting treated like piece of crap . Im at work and i have such anxiety!!! DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF!!! PLEASE HELP IF U CAN! THANK YOU!

[Oliveeyes]

is this about your best friend?

[lady00]

Try to relax. Since you're at work, try to focus on what you have to do today. Doing that will help get your mind off whatever's bothering you. Just have your list of things you need to accomplish at work today and go through them methodically.

[arwen]

hey esboogie,

 

It's sometimes very scary to make a `turning point' decision like this. In the past, you hoped to still have a future with the guy, even if he treated you the way he does. You love him, that doesn't disappear at the same time as the relationship ends.

 

The perspective on the future is different now. This can be confusing, you can have moments of real deliberation and a sense of 'new life' and freedom. At other moments, the same new life is no more than a black hole that you have no idea about. It's the difference between a new night and a new day.

 

You will be fine, in time. I promise you. I am proud of you, you have had a long long struggle with this man, and realized at the end, you really couldn't and wouldn't put up with him anymore.

 

Maybe it helps you to write down 'units of thoughts' as I always call them. In times like these, when you feel really confused and like your head is going at 10 different directions, it can help to write the emotions down and distinct between them.

 

Being confused is in fact nothing more than having different feelings at the same time. Maybe you are angry, sad, resentful and relieved at the same time. It could help you to write down different units. Call one 'sad' and list the things about your life in general or the breakup in particular that make you feel this way. If this one is ready, move to the next one etc.

 

Take care girl. I know you feel completely down and you will not believe me if I say you are really gonna get through. But you ARE, so I'll say it anyway

 

Ilse.

[esboogie143]

tHANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR UR REPLIES...I REALLY APPRECIATE IT...I WILL KEEP U UPDATED!!

[esboogie143]

any other advice from anyone would be greatly appreciated...

[Oliveeyes]

Okay sweetie, I am going through the SAME thing almost. It is so hard and it really sucks. My ex and I are so on and off it is sooo stupid. We are doing the same thing you are right now, and I feel the same thing that you are feeling. One of my friends said to me the other day when I was crying over him about what was going on between us..."Do you think he is sitting at home or work crying and thinking about you all day like you are doing. No he's not", and you know what it kinda opened my eyes a little bit. The answer was NO he is not doing that so why am I wasting my energy crying and stressing over him. Not that he doesn't think about me because I know he does, but I couldn't see him being stressed out to the point where it is making me sick and depressed. I am sick of the games he plays and how things are very one sided when it comes to us...it is okay for him to do these things but I can't because that is just unheard of. So I know EXACTLY what you are feeling...everything is all good as long it is convienent for them. That is not how relationships work. So here we stand, we don't want to put up with the bull crap and head games and wanted to be treated like our feelings mean something...right. So we should and if they can't do it, there is some other wonderful man that will. It is harder said then done, you know that as well as I do, but you need to think of your feelings first for a change. He isn't making you happy so why try to make things work..because in your head you have a picture of what your life could be like if he was with you, and that is what keeps us dealing with all of this. So I have decided to TRY and stop agonizing over our relationship, and keep myself busy. Try going out with your friends, watch a movie(not a romance though, that only makes it worse), go get your hair cut, go shopping and buy something for yourself. You do deserve it and need to realize it. You deserve to be happy and have someone take your feelings seriously. Do YOU for a while, make yourself happy who cares what he is thinking or acting towards you, he isn't worried on how you feel, you need to do this even though it might hurt. But it is true as the days go by you will stop thinking about him less and less everyday. definitely not at first, but it will happen. I know you can do this, I am sure this isn't the first time you have been through this, and if it is see it as a learning experience which is making you a stronger person...what doesn't kill ya makes you stronger. I hope this helped a little bit, I am here if you want to chat. Good luck sweetie and stand your ground this time.

[djedix]

I had anxiety a few months back. I dunno what was causing it, but it was not fun at all. I just would totally freak out, and be all flustered and stuff. I was very stressed out about stuff i guess. I was very stressed out about buying my now ex fiancee a wedding ring... I was sick all the time, i could not eat. I went to the doctor and they said i had like a mini ulser forming, and put me on stuff to get it fixed. I was in so much pain, i couldn't and did not want to see food. It would make me sick just thinking about it. Ever since then i have changed my diet, and the ex left, and i've found that i could eat again. I actully had a bowl of cerial last night the first time since like october, because i was so afraid to drink the milk. It's funny too when this was going on my ex was like here drink some milk it will make u feel bette, and when i did i got so sick, i thought i was going die... I think alot of the anxiety had to do with the ex. It's like my body was telling me "chris don't do this". It was trying to warn me that something was gonna happen.

 

Now I feel so freaking good! i can go out to eat again. Ofcourse i am still watching my diet, and i just feel so much better it's amazing. I eat smaller portions, my clothes don't fit, and people comment on me loosing weight, and i love it.

 

It did flair up a few weeks back, i was out with friends eating pizza, and i just got it again, i felt so light headed. i just had to get up and walk out of the pizza place and down the block for a min. And now that i think about it this was also the day i texted my ex a simple "how are you", and never got a response.... furthing the notion that my anxienty was linked to her.

 

I'll give you some tips... Stop worrying about it all. I kinda like said enuff is enuff, i'm not woried about anythign any more! Keep your mind busy, take up a new hobby, or like me set a goal. I have a goal to be driving around this summer in a new car. I set up a countdown on my laptop so every day i turn it on and see it, and get excited because the days are peeling off so fast. Listen to alot of music, find songs that express what you feel..... and sing them. I admit I don't know why but when i'm in the car, with the ipod blasting, I have to sing the song. I don't know why, but it makes me feel so much better. I can't listen to a song now without singing to it. It's weird, and hell i get weird looks from other drivers, but hell i don't care! it makes me feel good! and most importantly keep a positive outlook. It sucks now, i know, we all know, we've all been there. It's easy to say things on here, and say what your going to do, and how your going to change... but actully do it! Don't dwell on the past... it's hard... but in time you will understand. Time is what you need. Slow down right now, and not don't worry! If you need any more tips of what i'm doing send over a PM, that goes for anyone who's going through this kinda crap!

[brando]

Your thoughts were / are causing your anxiety. It isnt an external source or the ex. Been there done that.... you'll get through.