I'm sick of competing with my sister..

[Rgupta]

It's been like this since the day I was born. I am 1 of 3. My brother, 23 is the oldest, my sister, 22 is the middle, and I am the youngest at 19. The world somehow has always revolved around my sister, in my parents mind. They raised her to be spoiled rotten, katty, and most of all SELFISH. She's still like that to this day, and they continue to feed into it. At one point they rented her very own apartment, just because. The majority of household funds go to her, she gets all sorts of fancy outings. I am not an unsuccessful person by any means, I am a 19 year old with a full time career in real estate. I don't yet have enough money to live on my own, but I'll get there. My parents didn't support me in the career I chose, they have told me to quit since day 1. Yet they're paying 50 grand a year to send my sister to some college that she'll never finish. She can't do most day to day functions as she relies on my parents for everything. The other day was the last straw for me. I am recovering from a very severe cold. My sister has 2 bedrooms, a bathroom AND uses my

Bathroom on top of it. Well, I wanted to use the sauana because it's good for my sinuses. My sister claimed I was not allowed because that's "hers only." I found that quite ridiculous as she already has 2 bathrooms. She can't possibly use both at once. I told my parents I don't appreciate them defending her. I haven't talked to them or been home ever since, and I don't know that I ever want to come back. I have tried for years to be the one they would love. They will never love me as much as her. Some day, they'll be alone and have nobody because my sister will never care for them. I have decided I have to leave my parents behind, and work on myself. Has anyone parted from their family at a young age and what is some advice moving forward?

[j.man]

I parted at 17. 19 isn't a young age to part. That's when you should be getting out and being independent, finding yourself. Personally, I never had a sauna in a house growing up, nor did anyone have their own bathroom, so those problems are a bit too first world for me to relate to, but If you can't stand being at home, I think you're making a sensible choice.

[journeynow]

I parted at 17 as well. I needed to separate myself from them, needed the independence and to feel out of their range of judgement, needed to find and make my own way.

 

Keep in mind, if you were living in your parents' house and not paying room and board then they were supporting you financially. But it's a good thing to head out on your own, be your own person, not be tied to their purse strings and expectations. It's a good think to be able to take care of yourself and function on your own.

[shellyf62]

I got moved out at 19 & have never looked back.

Best thing I ever did!

[nutbrownhare]

Yep - I moved out at 17, and never regretted it for a minute. I also find it significant that my siblings who DID stay in the parental home until well into their 20's suffer from far more emotional problems as the result of living in that dysfunctional environment than I ever did.

 

You are carving out a career for yourself, and will be fine. My first piece of advice to you is to get accustomed to not having expensive luxuries, and work out what you actually NEED to be able to operate. It sounds like your sister is a spoilt little rich kid, but the fact that she IS catty and unpleasant suggests that she's actually not happy in her situation. Also, knowing that you're reliant on your parents is not a way of feeling secure in yourself - that's something that arises from knowing that you can cope with life, no matter what.

 

Also, you can leave home without living by yourself. Many people do house shares, and it can be great!

 

Good luck, whatever you decide!