Need suggestions

[sherryblossom]

I wanted to rant a lil and get your opinion as well. So i came back on 15th last month ad then my husband tried to act normally and expected us to have a regualr physical relationship. I told him that i need some time. After that he never touched me. Even when i tried to hug him and try that slowly it goes back to normal. I got no reaction from him. Then after 10 days he suddenly wanted to have sex again. I told him that it cant be too sudden. We have to move slowly now. Mind you during all this time the things werent that good.

Then things were getting better i mean emotionally. Then last week his parents came over to stay at our house for a week. Then obviously we had zero contact ( my baby had high fever during most of these days). Anyways they left on sat and then suddenly at night he decided that he wanted to sleep in the guest room. And then yesterday he told me that he is giving me the space and time i asked for. I told him that this is having the complete opposite effect on me. I dont want time like this. But he just said that thats his way of giving me time and that not everything can be how i want it to be. Then later he tells me that he will come sleep in the same room only if i say to him that things are completely ok between us. Obviously i told him that he can continue sleeping there. Today again its the same story.

Why is he doing all this? Was i wrong to say that i need time to get back to how we were?

[Wiseman2]

You want 'space and time' he gives it to you offering to sleep in the guest room, then you're upset? Can you be clear on what you want? More affection? No sex?

I told him that it cant be too sudden. We have to move slowly now. yesterday he told me that he is giving me the space and time i asked for. I told him that this is having the complete opposite effect on me.

[melancholy123]

Yes, what is it that you want? Your relationship sounds messed up, have you considered or tried counselling?

[DancingFool]

Figure out what you want, sit down and communicate it clearly. If you can't, then go get marriage counseling.

 

What you are doing now is beyond confusing and will get you nowhere. You ask for space, but then if he gives it you get upset. Basically either you are running and he is chasing or he is running and you are chasing, round and round it goes. Stop it. Sit down. Talk. Be clear. Knock off the games. If you don't know how, time for couples counseling so you both can learn how.

[sherryblossom]

Figure out what you want, sit down and communicate it clearly. If you can't, then go get marriage counseling.

 

What you are doing now is beyond confusing and will get you nowhere. You ask for space, but then if he gives it you get upset. Basically either you are running and he is chasing or he is running and you are chasing, round and round it goes. Stop it. Sit down. Talk. Be clear. Knock off the games. If you don't know how, time for couples counseling so you both can learn how.

 

Hi!! I suggested counselling to him but he refused. We havr already gone to a counsellor once (in the early months of our marriage)