Healing.. Miss him but trying to move on

[Susie888]

my mind is playing with my heart. It's been 4 months after a break up from a short term relationship. It doesn't matter how long you been with the person but the trust you build with someone that help open your heart again and giving the expectation you thought it was. Now trying to move on... I gave myself time to be alone with NC and thought I was ready to move on. I've been on dates and now seeing a new guy. I thought this will help me move on easily when I'm getting distracted from this new guy. But lately my thoughts are confused and lost. my feeling is lost because I tell myself I need to move on and telling myself don't miss my ex (he's not worth the time because he's probably moved on). I feel upset that I'm comparing this new guy to my ex.. because that tells me I'm not over my ex. I've been giving 2 advice.. First advice, to tell the new guy that I don't have that feeling for him and keep it friends. Second advice is to give it time with the new guy.. Get to know him and feelings will fade about my ex. Tonight, I'm feeling down.. Thinking about my ex and wanting to contact him just to see how he's been doing. While, the new guy is sending me sweet msgs. I'm feel like I'm

in denial that I said I moved on....

[abitbroken]

I would not tell the new guy you don't have feelings. i would just not accept so many dates and tell him that while you enjoy your dates, it would not be fair to keep going out with him because you realized you are not over your last relationship. That is the only fair thing to do. Do not keep him as a friend because that's not fair. He will keep holding on to breadcrumbs. The only fair thing is if you do feel ready to date down the road, you can take a risk and call him, and if he is seeing someone - that's life.

 

Also, how short term was this relationship? have you been broken up longer than the relationship was long? What makes you hold onto him as hard as you are?

[Wiseman2]

The thing is you have a history with your ex so the new guy can't replace that. It's ok to still miss the good parts of a prior relationship. That is one part of the equation. The other part is dating this new guy with an open heart and mind to allow him in so that you can move on, not as a replacement but as a new chapter with a new person.

First advice, to tell the new guy that I don't have that feeling for him and keep it friends. Second advice is to give it time with the new guy