Hooked up for the first time after breakup

[Lotusavx]

my boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago we were together for 4 years and had a pretty serious live in relationship. I met my best friends friend a few weeks ago and we have all been casually hanging out. The other night we were all drinking and we ended up hooking up! I was so nervous because it was the first time I slept with someone else in 4 years. I think he likes me, as before and after the hook up we were having great conversation and not just about sex. The problem is now that I am feeling attached, and I know he probably isn't. I know getting attached isn't good...and I don't want to chase him. I like him, and I'd love to hangout with him again, but I don't want to grow more attached. I never just hooked up with someone..I kind of just want to have some fun and play the game of letting him chase me. He said he would want to hook up again, but I don't want to be the one to text him or seem like I'm attached.

Also, right before hooking up I told him straight up that I'm a little bit nervous because he was the first person in 4 years wit the same guy...is that insecure of me to say? It ended up being great but I didn't know how it would have been so I was just honest.

[Wiseman2]

Excellent! that is better than sitting around pining. Enjoy your freedom. Just see how this goes, knowing it's casual.

I kind of just want to have some fun and play the game of letting him chase me.

[boltnrun]

my boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago we were together for 4 years and had a pretty serious live in relationship. I met my best friends friend a few weeks ago and we have all been casually hanging out. The other night we were all drinking and we ended up hooking up! I was so nervous because it was the first time I slept with someone else in 4 years. I think he likes me, as before and after the hook up we were having great conversation and not just about sex. The problem is now that I am feeling attached, and I know he probably isn't. I know getting attached isn't good...and I don't want to chase him. I like him, and I'd love to hangout with him again, but I don't want to grow more attached. I never just hooked up with someone..I kind of just want to have some fun and play the game of letting him chase me. He said he would want to hook up again, but I don't want to be the one to text him or seem like I'm attached.

Also, right before hooking up I told him straight up that I'm a little bit nervous because he was the first person in 4 years wit the same guy...is that insecure of me to say? It ended up being great but I didn't know how it would have been so I was just honest.

 

This doesn't sound like you "just want to have fun".

 

You recognize you are already attached.

 

So, try to determine if you can handle just a casual, hook up type of thing where you two don't date but just get together to hang out for sex. Or, if you know you'll want more it might not be a good idea to continue, because you'll find yourself trying to make it into a relationship and getting hurt when he is only interested in casual.

[TMifune]

You're 2 months out of a 4 year relationship.

 

My opinion is that hooking up with guys you don't know that well, sort of expecting them to want to commit to you while pretending you just "want to have fun" is a recipe for both of you getting hurt. Wanting to make this guy "chase you" has nothing to do with him and everything to do with soothing your ego of the bruising it took when your bf broke up with you.

 

I'd recommend you take some more time to get over your breakup before you get into bed with anyone else.

[lostandhurt]

Rebounding is usually not a good idea. In your case since you had sex once and are already getting attached tells me you are transferring your feelings from your ex onto this guy.

 

Basically there is a void in your life from having a bf for the last 4 years and now it is gone and all of a sudden there is this new guy and poof you get emotionally attached really fast.

 

Take a step back, if he wants more he knows how to find you. Also if he knows or thinks it is always just going to be a hook up he will contact you sooner than you think.

 

This may have not been the best idea right now so protect your heart.

 

Lost