my ex said i love u

[goddess23]

hey everyone. exactly 6 months after our breakup my ex and i are SORT OF back together. we had a long convo about how we felt. that we like eachother alot but we dont want that serious relatoinship. so we ended up doing some serious making out and it was fun, i mean our relationsihp is a lot of fun. he didnt want to leave and what not....like it was really romantic and then he said i love you. and i was in shock. we told eachother i love you before. but after 6 months of craziness this was woah. anways i said to him "are you sure" and hes like i duno or something cuz he had to go. anyways just now we had a convo and i asked him if he meant wat he said--i love you. and hes like it just slipped out, i was thinking why did i just say that. so i was a little disappointed because with all honesty i do love him. but at the same token i rather him be honest. and i got the feeling it was just the heavy make out that made it slip out lol. the thing is we're not officially "dating"...we're just "going with the flow". im fine with this at the moment....but do you think its possible for us to end up being an official couple. is this right? am i setting myself up for hurt? and has anything like this ever happened to you before? any comments are greatly apprciated. thanks!

[emma34]

Sure I think it's possible you two could get back together. I would say that him saying he loved was likely just a flashback of emotions - and I'm sure he (and likely you too) are very confused about how you feel about eachother. I would be very careful in this situation - because sometimes when getting back together, it's never the same. The important thing to remember about getting back together is that it's not a continuation of your previous relationships, it's a new beginning. Take it slow. No 'I love you's' yet. You both gotta figure out what u really want. Because all this talk of 'going with the flow' CAN be another term for 'i'll keep you around until something better comes along'. Why did u break up in the first place?? Maybe you should recall why, and is he worth taking back?

[ang3l2004]

Dont get to wrapped up into what he says,Go by his actions,If you are fine with going with the flow then by all means have fun with it,Just protect your heart

[DN]

It is possible he meant it and when you asked him about it felt pressured and backtracked.

 

Ask him again, in a softer tone, and add that you think you may have feelings for him as well. That way it is not a full declaration of love but a tentative step - see what he says.

[Scout]

It's possible you two could get back together, but do be careful that during the interim, you are not giving too much of yourself, at least not more than he is. Maintain your independence.

[goddess23]

thank you all so much so far. yes i know, obviously we will take it slow and the thing is i know its not like "ill keep you around till something better comes along". let me explain, we went out for 9 months, first relationship for both of us. it was really great...everything was pretty perfect....obviosuly there are small flaws but nothing major. he went on vacation and came back confused needed time, the relationship was getting too serious. so thats why right now both of us are like dont want a serious relationship. and i know that the i love yous shouldnt happen yet...even though i feel it, even when he said it i didnt say it back because i thought woah...way too fast for wanting to take it slow lol. so yeah...im just not sure what happens when we do get really serious. basically our breakup was that we were too serious....hmmm.....lol more replies veryyyy welcome.

[arwen]

Hey girl,

 

You asked if anyone is familiar with this situation. So I will be honest; yes I have been there with an ex. And we broke up. He had been in love with someone during the 5 month break up. Eventually, the truth came out. He didn't want this 'no-relationship' thing because he wanted 'to see where things would go between us'. The hidden truth that his heart was broken by this girl, because she had rejected him. With me in the bed, he hoped to get her out of her head. I am happy I eventually broke up with him because of other reasons. Months later I heard via via that this girl was his girlfriend now. (I didn't know the whole truth until a few months ago!).

 

Well, that's just my story. It surely doesn't mean your situation will be the same. My suggestion is to really think about the following, though:

 

* did you agree to this 'no-relationship' because you don't want a relationship, or did you agree to it because it's the only way you can be sort of together?

 

Just stay independent, as Scout said. If there are no strings attached, be careful with your expectations.

 

take care,

 

Ilse.

[goddess23]

wow....i must say your post ilse really hit me. with all honesty i know that i dont care for a serious relationship i really do just want to have fun right now. however i also know that i would be interested in a relationship if it came up with HIM. maybe i am just doing this so we can be "together". im not sure...maybe its a bit of both. the only thing that i know in our situation it's not about anyone else. just...i know lol. we go to the same school and all and are really straight up with eachother. it really is this strong physical connection right now. but im scared....because there are also really strong emotions involved. i just wanna have some fun. but i know its not that simple...i know its not about getting over someone or even seeing how we feel its pretty clear. its just like today he had to go and whatever and it feels like hes not interested. lol but then again, i have to remember our "situation". anyways...any more experiences would help or any general help thanks!