My boyfriend is betraying me

[boomshakhalaka]

My boyfriend, Edward*, and I have been together for about 7 months now and we know we want to get married. Everything about us and each other are perfect. We are so compatible and we want each other so much.

 

That being said, Edward was in love with his best friend, Natasha for 4 years. She never liked him or showed it. After they graduated school, they stopped talking, but reconnected when she moved closer to where he lived after 6 months. They texted every single day for more than a year. during this 13 month period, Edward and I started dating at around 10 months. We knew we wanted to go slow and not rush things, but we quickly learned that we are so perfect for each other. and we've been in past serious relationships, so when we said that we loved each other after a couple of months, we knew it wasnt just infatuation. Meanwhile, I have been left in the dark about Natasha.

3 months in to our relationship, Edward let it slip that his best friend was Lebanese. I knew all of his friends so i got confused about which best friend he was talking about. He looked very odd and said "oh just my friend Natasha". I was like "oh i didn't know you had a best friend Natasha, you never told me about her in all our time of dating and all our time of being in a relationship. He said he didn't think it was necessary for me to know about her.

 

a few weeks go on and i realize that Edward has serious feelings about Natasha. He denied talking about his feelings and her for a long time. after a month, he finally opened up saying he still has feelings for her and he still carries pain about the fact that he loved her and she never loved him back. This is while we are dating as well. While I am being a devoted, loving, perfect girlfriend, he has feelings for another girl. I am there for him, but I make it very clear that he needs to fix this, or I am out. To know that the man I love has feelings for another girl, that he also has history with, while I am by his side, hurts so much. Not to mention that he regularly has dreams about her. He still hasn't told her about me.

 

after much debate and disappointment from him, he stopped texting her five months in to our relationship. she texted him that month for his birthday but that was it. six months in to the relationship, he said he doesn't have feelings for her anymore and he doesn't care about her anymore. He said she is just a friend.

 

We both have VSCO accounts, which is a picture sharing website. I post pictures of him and he posted pictures of me. we're about to start out seventh month together, and a couple of weeks ago, he checked her profile on VSCO and texted me saying that his feelings came back and he feels the pain again and that he's thinking about her again. I was there for him and helped him until he said he was fine. Last week, he deleted all pictures of me from his VSCO, i didn't say anything. This week, we were cuddling watching videos on his phone, and he got a text from his mom so he switched his screen to his messages, and in the brief moment that all of his texts showed up, i saw that he recently texted natasha two days ago. since it was a brief glance, he assumed i didn't see it. I immediately asked him why he texted Natasha. he denied that he did. I said, no I saw it on your texts that you texted her on monday, why'd you text her, you said you stopped talking to her? and he denied it, again. this went on for a good 6 minutes straight. He was just lying to me, expecting me to believe it like an idiot. I got very upset with him and left the room. I got a phone call and had to go back into the room he was in to get my phone, and after the call he said "sorry for denying it, i did text her. but it was to wish her happy ramadan." but the conversation ended in the late night, so it wasnt just about ramadan. He said he didn't tell me because he knew i was going to react badly. I got very upset and started crying. I said yes but you wouldnt have lied to me. after 15 minutes i stopped crying and just wanted to forget about it.

the following two days, he apologizes for it and says he shouldn't have lied. But today, I go on VSCO, and log in to his account since we know each others passwords, because i wanted a picture of myself from his saved pictures. What i found instead, was that he followed her. The sequence of events leads me to believe he deleted all the pictures of me because he wanted to follow her and didn't want her to see anything related to me.

 

I feel so betrayed and don't know what to do. I feel like I can't tell him that i saw he followed her, because he'd know i went onto his VSCO without permission, but he also is choosing to disrespect me and disregard my feelings by following her and STILL SEVEN MONTHS IN TO THE RELATIONSHIP, AFTER HE GAVE ME THE ONLY HEIRLOOM HE HAS FROM HIS GRANDMOTHER, A GOLD CHAIN WITH JESUS ON IT, HE HASN'T TOLD HER ABOUT MY EXISTENCE. I feel so betrayed and I don't believe I deserve this, and I don't want to break up with him, because I love him, but I also refuse to be treated like this. What should I do?

[agent1607307371]

If you won't break up with him, you just have to accept that Natasha is more important to him than you. That's the choice. He's shown that he's happy to lie to you and be sneaky about this girl, and also that he won't stop being in contact with her. The only choice now is what you will accept for yourself.

[ThatwasThen]

I feel so betrayed and don't know what to do.

Sure you do, you know what to do but you're hoping someone here will be able to tell you something other then leave him.

 

He loves someone else. Why would you want to continue on with a man that is not on the same page as you? Someone so not on the same page that he'd not tell the other woman about you in fear of her stopping her attention to him.

 

He likes/is infatuated with her so much that he'd risk alienating you to have her in his life. That alone should be enough reason for you to let him go, heal and find someone that doesn't put a pink elephant in between you and he.

 

YOU loving HIM isn't a good reason to stay with him and enable him to have all the benefits of a devoted woman while he pines for another.

[Wiseman2]

Do they ever see each other? It sounds like he wants her in his life one way or the other. Unfortunately it sounds like you are much more invested in this relationship after only 7 months, than he is.

Edward was in love with his best friend, Natasha for 4 years.STILL SEVEN MONTHS IN TO THE RELATIONSHIP, HE HASN'T TOLD HER ABOUT MY EXISTENCE.

[HeartGoesOn]

He's hiding you, lying, and has basically been cheating on you the entire time. You can't go backwards and change anything, therefore it's either pay now or pay later.

 

It's not worth losing your self-respect over someone with this mentality.

[catfeeder]

It's not against the law to love someone who's disloyal, it's just better to love him from far away.

 

Head high, and walk forward.